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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Changes in how rape will be investigated- about time!

590 replies

AWholeLottaNosy · 28/01/2015 22:05

I just read this and I was really pleased. It's about time rape was investigated and prosecuted differently considering the appalling rape conviction rate we have in this country. Imagine there will be an outcry from all the MRAs, but, I think it's very good news...

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11375667/Men-must-prove-a-woman-said-Yes-under-tough-new-rape-rules.html

OP posts:
PetulaGordino · 30/01/2015 09:08

beta you are still assuming that women will "cry rape" in order for it to get to hte point of the police being on "auto-pilot" (wtf??) - can you not see that? your assumptions about women's behaviours are deeply misogynistic

HouseWhereNobodyLives · 30/01/2015 09:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cailindana · 30/01/2015 09:10

A man has sex with a drunk woman and he didn't get a 'verbalised yes affirmation'. Police go on autopilot and the case gets sent to CPS. The man and women cat really remember every detail of the night and she isn't sure but under the guidelines the police must press charges.

Why, in this circumstance, will the woman have gone to the police?

I read a post a while ago on MN where a woman had gone back to a man's house taken her clothes off and got into bed with him. With the best will in the world when I was a young man I am pretty sure I would have not questioned whether the woman wanted sex and would not have been seeking a positive 'yes'. The thing is that she decided she didn't want sex in the end and by her own admission on the thread wasn't very clear about it but he was very decent and didn't have sex with her. I am pretty sure a jury would not convict if he had because all her actions pointed to a yes even though she did decide no in the end and not in a very clear way and she did stay in the bed and she did stay until the morning.

So you would have just gone ahead and had sex with a woman who wasn't responding or enjoying it at all?

AnnieLobeseder · 30/01/2015 09:11

MoreBeta - if you think (thought) that a woman being naked in bed with you is consent, then it's a very good thing that these new laws are being put into place. Because even if I sleep naked in bed with my husband every night, that does not give him consent to penetrate me with impunity. Of course the young man should have questioned whether the young woman in question wanted sex or not right up to and including the point where he penetrated her. He did the right thing. And it's absolutely wrong that a jury would not have convicted if he had gone ahead (though sadly probably true) because a women reserves the right to withdraw consent at any time.

This is why the new guidelines are so important, this is why you and every other parent need to teach their sons about enthusiastic consent. Getting into bed with someone is not consent. It just isn't. And society's expectations need to change to reflect that.

HouseWhereNobodyLives · 30/01/2015 09:12

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Yops · 30/01/2015 09:24

MoreBeta, it isn't the 'getting into bed naked' bit alone that indicates consent though, is it? I mean, it's a promising start, but it's what she does next. If she turns away, says good night and shuts her eyes, you'd understand that means you aren't going any further. If she is all over you like a cheap suit, you're both good to go. Similarly, if you're getting down 'n'dirty and she did something that you didn't like, you'd ask her to stop, wouldn't you? Same goes the other way.

I know what you were trying to say, I think. Someone taking all her clothes off and jumping into bed with me (ah, memories Grin ) (used to) lead to other stuff, and there would be a mutual understanding, even if nothing was said. It's this continuing interaction that establishes consent.

shaska · 30/01/2015 09:25

The thing is, MoreBeta we already know that in the majority of rape cases, charges aren't brought, and where they are, there usually isn't a conviction.

So I think that worrying that police will go on autopilot and start charging young men with rape willy nilly, based on new guidelines, is incredibly unlikely. I mean, we're so, so far off from that being the case right now.

I just think that focusing on how it MIGHT affect young men (I actually don't believe it will affect innocent men at all, but to be open to the possibility) says quite clearly that the possible discomfort of a man is prioritised over the actual discomfort of women. It says it loud and clear.

Women are already having a bad time. This is a quite minor effort to lessen that.

To use your example - if the boy had had sex with her, and was questioned about why he'd thought he had consent, he could say 'well, she took off all her clothes and got into bed with me'. And all it takes is an 'and then what?'. If she'd continued wanting to have sex, presumably she'd have continued behaving as though she did, he'd have been able to give examples, they'd have had sex, no problem.

The fact that she then decided she didn't want to have sex, and he didn't have sex with her, also no problem.

If she'd then decided she didn't want to have sex, and he had sex with her anyway.... then it's rape. It's really, really simple.

Things can CHANGE. A 'yes' can change to a 'no'. Everyone KNOWS that. I've done it, I've had partners do it. It's not a big deal and I think 90% of the population do not ever struggle with that boundary.

A note though 'yes he was very decent and didn't have sex with her'. Er... well, he was a human. Not really a gold star awarding type situation, in my books, not having sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you.

PetulaGordino · 30/01/2015 09:27

i know... every time beta and others come back with "i know i will be flamed but..." "but still..." "but, but, but..."

listen to women, fucking listen to them. they are telling you important things about the inherent misogyny in the things you are saying, using up their valuable time on you because it is important for you to understand that what you are saying supports rapists and perpetuates the assumption that women are in a perpetual state of consent unless they are literally screaming "no" and fighting a man off, and that consenting women are just desperate for any opportunity to claim that a man has raped them. and you still come back with "but, but, but..."

muminhants · 30/01/2015 09:39

I've been in the situation where I was very drunk and ended up in bed with a rather nice Scottish lad. He asked me at least twice if I was sure I wanted something to happen as I was drunk and he didn't want me to be upset in the morning.

Not hard is it?

However, if I changed my mind in the morning how do you prove I'd said it was ok the night before? Say I woke up in the morning and thought I wouldn't have looked at him twice in a saner moment? Or I was married and thought "oh my god what do I do now - oh I'll say he raped me".

I don't think drunk=consent but I do think girls and women need to understand that getting very drunk puts them in a vulnerable position and that they might consent to something they wouldn't have consented to if they were sober but that is their problem the next morning, not the bloke's.

Interesting article in the Daily Heil this morning: t.co/bO2IuOkMIm

MoreBeta · 30/01/2015 09:42

Was this change in the guidelines debated in Parliament or was it just issued by the Secretary of State as a result of a consultation between agencies?

Its an important change and I am not sure if a proper public debate has been had. We are having one here and I am sure it will be raging on the internet and no doubt a test case will emerge that will generate public controversy.

I don't think anyone on the thread is disagreeing with the basic objectives - but public servants even acting with good intentions are not infallible or all seeing and I just don't think all the ramifications have been thought through on these guidelines or in fact how individual police officers, judges, CPS will use them. Its almost seems like its down to the discretion of individuals implementing the guidelines - not an acceptable or good situation for women who have been raped or men accused of rape.

PuffinsAreFictitious · 30/01/2015 09:48

For what its worth and I know I will get flamed I thought Flic229 raised some pretty fair points in a well balanced way.

No, and no again.

One of my concerns is that somehow the process of investigation and prosecution now goes on autopilot using these 'guidelines'. Its one of this enudge issues. Changing the process without having a change of law to get a articular outcome. Its being done for a very good reason and I agree with that reason, I just worry about the ramifications. I have two mid teenage sons and I think that the definition of what constitutes rape might have accidentally changed.

The definition of what constitutes rape hasn't changed, hope that sets your mind at ease reference your sons, who, incidentally are more likely to be raped themselves than falsely accused. The process hasn't changed, the guidelines have, because on the whole, the police are still utterly shite when it comes to dealing with rape allegations. And, anyone who says that the police are rushing to charge men with rape really knows nothing about the subject.

A man has sex with a drunk woman and he didn't get a 'verbalised yes affirmation'. Police go on autopilot and the case gets sent to CPS. The man and women cat really remember every detail of the night and she isn't sure but under the guidelines the police must press charges.

a) why does this old chestnut keep being brought up?
b) why, if the woman is unsure, and nothing else has happened to make her believe that a crime has been committed, would she even go to the police. CE's victim went to the police because she thought her bag had been stolen and, because she couldn't remember anything from the night before, thought her drink might have been spiked. And we'll never know if it was or not.

The two facts we know are the woman had some alcohol and the man didn't get a positive yes. Did he rape her?

Has been picked apart by others.

Problem is that exact scenario happens thousands of times on a Saturday night all over the country.

However, this isn't th scenario Flic was referring to, is it? What he was referring to was the CE case, and if he thinks that situation is happening every Saturday night, then he maybe needs to be educating men about why it's rape.

I read a post a while ago on MN where a woman had gone back to a man's house taken her clothes off and got into bed with him. With the best will in the world when I was a young man I am pretty sure I would have not questioned whether the woman wanted sex and would not have been seeking a positive 'yes'.

You do realise that you have made yourself sound like a rapist there, don't you?

The thing is that she decided she didn't want sex in the end and by her own admission on the thread wasn't very clear about it but he was very decent and didn't have sex with her.

Yes, decent men don't rape women....

I am pretty sure a jury would not convict if he had because all her actions pointed to a yes even though she did decide no in the end and not in a very clear way and she did stay in the bed and she did stay until the morning.

Um, they shouldn't, but they will, because far too many people believe that a woman acting in a certain way in the hours before she's raped means she was asking for it.

People do al sorts of silly things and change their minds and get drunk. I am not sure I want police officers going on autopilot deciding to press rape charges based on 'guidelines' - even if the woman isn't really sure herself.

Raping someone isn't a "silly thing"

Why do we have to keep going over and over this? Unless you're 100% sure the woman/man is into what you're doing, don't stick your cock into them. Really, how hard is that?

PetulaGordino · 30/01/2015 09:51

"However, if I changed my mind in the morning how do you prove I'd said it was ok the night before? Say I woke up in the morning and thought I wouldn't have looked at him twice in a saner moment? Or I was married and thought "oh my god what do I do now - oh I'll say he raped me"."

do you think there is a risk you might do those things - you personally, i mean, not a hypothetical woman?

PetulaGordino · 30/01/2015 09:52

beta it is the DPP who has said this

HouseWhereNobodyLives · 30/01/2015 09:52

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cailindana · 30/01/2015 09:52

So you're not going to answer any of the points raised against your objections then MoreBeta?

Why would this be debated in Parliament? It's not a change in law, it's guidance that ensures police and prosecutors do their job properly. The problem is that up until now thousands of men have been getting away with rape. Surely you want that to change? Or would you rather women continued not to get justice?

PetulaGordino · 30/01/2015 09:54

he doesn't want to engage with the idea that his views are misogynistic. hence the problem

HouseWhereNobodyLives · 30/01/2015 09:54

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SardineQueen · 30/01/2015 10:12

I find it really disturbing that anyone would throw up their hands in utter horror at the idea the police ask a person accused of rape, what happened.

Anyone who reacts to this news with horror really needs to ask themselves a few questions IMO.

At the moment what has happened all too often is that the victim is told to sod off, and the evidence thrown away. So guidance comes out so say "look police you need to investigate this shit" and people get really upset about it Confused

cailindana · 30/01/2015 10:29

MoreBeta seems to be upset about it because he clearly doesn't understand what rape is and believes that as soon as a woman is naked in bed with a man she must submit to whatever he wants.

HouseWhereNobodyLives · 30/01/2015 10:34

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ApocalypseThen · 30/01/2015 10:42

However, if I changed my mind in the morning how do you prove I'd said it was ok the night before? Say I woke up in the morning and thought I wouldn't have looked at him twice in a saner moment? Or I was married and thought "oh my god what do I do now - oh I'll say he raped me".

You sound like you have issues. I suggest that rather than implying that all women have the problems you do, you seek a therapist and avoid what the films call adult situations until you're ready. But leave the rest of us out of this.

cailindana · 30/01/2015 10:46

Why on god's green earth would any woman wake up in the morning and realise she'd had inadvisable (but consensual) sex and, rather than just going home and forgetting about it, decide to go to the police station and subject herself to months and months and months of questioning and scrutiny?

Why would anybody do that?

Mitchy1nge · 30/01/2015 10:49

However, if I changed my mind in the morning how do you prove I'd said it was ok the night before? Say I woke up in the morning and thought I wouldn't have looked at him twice in a saner moment? Or I was married and thought "oh my god what do I do now - oh I'll say he raped me"

nah, like any normal person you'd think 'Jesus fucking Christ I can't BELIEVE I fucked that. I am never drinking again. I will laugh about it one day' etc

there can't be many people who haven't had sex they regret, or do you think it's just women who wake up and think WHY DID I DO THAT?

HouseWhereNobodyLives · 30/01/2015 10:49

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PuffinsAreFictitious · 30/01/2015 10:51

Why on god's green earth would any woman wake up in the morning and realise she'd had inadvisable (but consensual) sex and, rather than just going home and forgetting about it, decide to go to the police station and subject herself to months and months and months of questioning and scrutiny?

Why would anybody do that?

It's a lie men tell each other all the time. It's one that has been backed up by judges saying it as well. You would be dismayed at the number of people who believe this happens.

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