Feminist Pub 16: where the Bluestockings develop armoured stockings to deal with the thousand paper cuts

[FibonacciSeries]

Carry on.

Basically, Penguins, both the blog and all the following comments are just an endless wail from mothers who had girls with not enough hair or boys with too much hair, who had to endure endless streams of people getting their child's gender wrong. Even if they dressed them fully appropriately in pink or blue and stuck flowery head bands on them. I suppose I should be happy for them all that that was the greatest challenge they faced in their child's babyhood.

And you know what also annoys me - I'm actually nervous about posting this in case elis comes back and starts on at me bitching behind people's backs again.

I had bald babies. I never much cared if people got their sex wrong. It was an interesting experiment in stereotyping though. People said different things when they thought DD2 especially was a boy.

It is all about gender as your defining attribute isn't it.

Just pitch in on DLS, LordC! Let not lack of knowledge be your barrier!

Please ignore my final comment, it was petty and unnecessary.

I had a baldy and one that was basically a small ape, he didn't so much have hair as a pelt. They both had long hair when they were little boys, lots of people thought they were girls (esp DS2 with his glorious curls bastard ) Their penises did not fall off, they didn't suddenly become girls and not a single shit was given. I sort of get where the blogger is coming from, but in about 5 years time she will reread that and cringe.

I'm glad other people saw that blog and thought it was a bit shit. Some people really need to be reminded that they are babies, not dolls. I really really wish this british obsession with looks would fade back out again. I just about remember when we laughed at the americans for that and their obsession with celebs too.

I didn't feel judged, sorry, I just read back what I put and it sounded sulky. And now I sound pathetic. Ah well, what else is the internet for.

I have people thinkng my boy, 3, is a girl all the time. I just smile and say yes he has lovely hair hasn't he (its shoulder length and a bit curly). Had an odd comment once or twice, but nothng worse. It doesn't matter when they're that age fgs!

I think it's partly because adults want to think we can tell boy and girl babies apart visually. We really can't, can we?! But even on MN, I've heard people insisting that they can tell, and girls under three look entirely different from boys. I really don't think they reliably do, except in terms of clothing? Not on here, but somone told me my DN's eyelashes made it obvious she was a girl.

She is a girl. I'm fairly sure it's not about her eyelashes.

No. You can't. My boy's always been called a girl, he's too pretty. And some of the cross dressers show that you wouldn't even necessarily be able to tell from the face alone in adulthood too (not many I admit!) Remember Queen's Roger Meddows?

meddows? taylor. oops.

On the subject of eyelashes, I had a long and confusing conversation with my five year old recently where it turned out that she thought only girls had eyelashes, because that's how it's done in cartoons. I had to suggest that she take a closer look at her father and brother....

Eeeeee, I've got a date today, and I've got butterflies.

And I should be writing my lectures and collaborating with Dr Buffy.

Oooh, how exciting. Have fun.

Though if Dr Buffy needs you to do work then Do Your Work First.

Thank you, and for the work-kick.

Another example of gender delusion.

I had a discussion once with a friend about whether our "obsession" with sex discrimination (ie, not wanting to get a raw deal because we are women) cloud our judgement. I think it's the other way round - I think if you don't think about whether you are discriminating or not then it clouds your judgement. Eg, if you think X will do this or like that because she/he is a woman/man, instead of actually thinking whether X as an individual will do this or not, then your judgement is unsound. IYKWIM.

I think it's the other way round - I think if you don't think about whether you are discriminating or not then it clouds your judgement.

That is so true. The problem is we are encouraged to assume that everything is equal from the start, and anything we do, like considering whether or not we're discriminating, is a move away from the default, equal situation.

I really really wish this british obsession with looks would fade back out again.

I was thinking about this at the weekend - not in terms of British particularly, but I was in the BL's Gothic exhibition, and one of the exhibits was a black obsidian mirror, used in seances.

It made me think about mirrors - I know they have mirrors from the Romans and earlier, which are basically disks of polished metal like silver. But glass and metals like silver were luxury items, so many poor people would never have seen themselves, except maybe in a bucket of water. Whereas now, we have mirrors everywhere and plate glass and shiny metals and cameras including selfies and CCTV images - it's very difficult not to go through a day without seeing yourself these days, even if you don't have a selfie-obsession, and thst must all feed how we feel about each others and thus everyone else, compared with an age when everyone else would have been more familiar with how we looked than we did ourselves.

I'm practising the phrase "you should ditch your gender delusion - it clouds your judgement". I envision using it quite often in the year.

Re: mirror - I remember when I was 18 and walking about a departmental store and getting a fright when I saw the colours I was wearing. But I still forget to look in the mirror before I go out ...

That's a fascinating point, EBear.

It's interesting, in the Middle Ages there are huge numbers of 'mirror' metaphors, and people constantly title books things like 'The Mirror of Virtues' or 'The Mirror of the Life of Christ,' because they're so fascinated by the idea of something that reflects the truth back at you.

Full-length mirrors must make a huge difference. Does anyone know when they came in?

I bet that affected women's interpersonal relationships, too. You'd be so dependent on your sisters/friends telling you how you looked (which I know you see teenage girls on trains doing all the time!).

I feel that live-posting a date would be a step too far towards the Borg.

Though, after EBear's post, I am feeling the power of the Borg.

Ooooh, a date! Could you give us any details? Or should be not be distracting you and more and telling you to Get Back to Work?