Any good examples to help point out sexism to my DH?

[BertieBotts]

As he announced this evening that I am "just looking for sexism everywhere" (Nope, not looking, it just is there) and he was upset that I saw the world as such a black dark evil place (I don't).

I'm not particularly interested in explanations of privilege like the video game difficulty setting thing, just examples that he will "get". I used the example that a man might be upset if a man he knows wants to date his sister whereas a woman would never be upset at a woman wanting to date her brother, unless she thought the woman was a total psychopath. Well, that didn't work because he has 3 sisters, all an entire generation older than him so of course they have been overprotective and ridiculous over every GF he has ever had So I called "Friends" and he started making up arguments.

He gets the "big stuff", but he doesn't see the smaller, everyday type of feminism, and that's what I'd like to open his eyes to if possible. I know that a lot of it is just that it's invisible to him because it happens so often to women that we don't mention it and men, especially if they don't do it, don't realise that it's happening at all.

do you automatically use 'he' 'his' and 'him'? Why? They could just as easily be female

My mum does this all the time 'He's the Doctor' - 'She is the nurse' I've got two dd's so constantly pulling her up on it - have been for 15 years now, she still does it

Have you tried the puzzles like on www.folj.com/lateral/ I was trying to find the surgeon one but ones like this are just as good;

Acting on an anonymous phone call, the police raid a house to arrest a suspected murderer. They don't know what he looks like but they know his name is John and that he is inside the house. The police bust in on a carpenter, a lorry driver, a mechanic and a fireman all playing poker. Without hesitation or communication of any kind, they immediately arrest the fireman. How do they know they've got their man?

I wont spoil it the solutions on the webpage.

This one?
A young boy and his father are in a car accident. The father dies at the scene. The boy is transported to the hospital, taken immediately into surgery... but the surgeon steps out of the operating room and says, "I can't operate on this boy - he is my son!"

The question: Who is the surgeon?

Ah yes, I know those well :) (The question with the surgeon one is "How can this be?" usually, because "Who is the surgeon" gives too much of a pointer.)

Thanks for all these. He did actually start questioning things, in a jokey way, but it was interest I think.

Male celebs are never asked their dress size, their weight, their diet tips,

Isn't that because men couldn't give a toss?

The media assume that women want to know that stuff.

I can never understand why the most mysogynist paper on the market; the DM, is also the most widely read/bought by females?

(Sorry, no stats to back that up, but I'm sure I have seen them somewhere)

Because men and women are both brought up under patriarchal norms, partial.

WHY don't men give a toss? Because men give less of a toss about measures of attractiveness. WHY do men give less of a toss about measures of attractiveness? Because men are less judged on their attractiveness.

Sorry, my post did not address the OP's question.

I was not trying to divert the direction of the thread.

if we ever have a daughter.
that's one of the best ways to increase any decent bloke's awareness of sexism. Especially when the DD pulls him up on things that he might brush off or be defensive about to a partner.

Thank you Yonic.

Point well made.

partial I think it's because women are supposed to care about that stuff, also women are supposed to look a certain way and most celebs follow that look so we read their diet tips and find out where they shop so we can look more like them and be accepted.
Think about the "make overs" on The X Factor for example, the men get a new suit and maybe grow some facial hair, the women often Have a whole new look, or the spice girls, one had to be sporty, one had to be innocent etc, they couldn't just be....singers....

Patriarchy probably tells you more often how much celeb man is worth compare to celeb woman's bra size.

When you think about the bechdel test it starts to mess with your head as you realise how women are marginalised and secondary in every aspect of our culture. Not sure I. Could deal with someone who couldn't see it because it suggests they really don't see anything odd about them being the default and me being the variant.

The FinkBeiner test is another good one (could be applied to women in politics, or any other field not just science of course).

Team Bianca

Oops wrong thread

Link him to the 'Male Privilege Checklist'.

amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/

Christmassy, glad you got equal pay in the end.

What they said to you about you having done yourself no favours getting pregnant, it leads in to another huge discrimination for women. The continuation of the species, that is fairly important to all but women are made to feel bad about.

Sorry, but why are women made to feel bad about getting pregnant?

A young boy and his father are in a car accident. The father dies at the scene. The boy is transported to the hospital, taken immediately into surgery... but the surgeon steps out of the operating room and says, "I can't operate on this boy - he is my son!"

First thing I thought was it could just as easily have been his father and his mother. But then I guess I never really thought conventionally anyway.

It seems to me that men don't go through life judging each other, and they're not bitchy or catty. Sure, they have confrontations and beat seven bells out of each other sometimes, but it's not a cliquey social dynamic, it's tribal. Tribalism of the bollocks, where they all move and ally themselves with the herd.

Whereas women have to have their own clique, to constantly measure themselves against other women, to know where they are in the social pecking order. Am I prettier than her? Am I more intelligent? More witty? Slimmer? Taller? Classier? And then comparing notes with friends, sharing observations, speculating about this woman or that. Can you believe her attitude? Did you see the size of...? Some women build little fiefdoms about themselves and have to defend their territory. These are my men. I was listening to Radio 4 this evening. Queen Bees they call them.

If anything elephantspoo i judge menmore harshly so what you type after "whereas" is not fact. It is something women are told all the time; that they are "bitchy"

"Whereas women have to have their own clique, to constantly measure themselves against other women, to know where they are in the social pecking order."

I don't find this to be true.

"It seems to me that men don't go through life judging each other, and they're not bitchy or catty.!" Hahahahaha

It isn't called bitchy or catty I'll grant you. But men are more competitive with each other. It is thought to be healthy. They are also equally if not more judgemental of women. You only have to look at the comments on articles by women in CiF or anywhere women are saying things men don't want to hear. The way men talk about women on sport sites or special interest sites, student sites, p*nternet or any site where men are the majority. I've never heard women talking about other women as objects for sexual gratification. Men really do set the bar high when it come to judgingother women.

"Sure, they have confrontations and beat seven bells out of each other sometimes..." Because that is way better than being cliquey . Fucking hell you set the bar low for acceptable male behaviour and considerably higher for women.

"Some women build little fiefdoms about themselves and have to defend their territory." Yeah because you never see men do that at all . Men defend their territory all the time. They aren't giving up their privilege and power and sharing it with women (or other men for that matter). You only have to look at sites such as Everyday Sexism to see the ways in which men do this. The sexual harassment on the streets. The sexual harassment on public transport. Women don't rape and murder other women. The pay gap. But yeah men aren't cliquey (bollocks they aren't - they certainly don't want to share the privilege that coms with male-only spaces such as golf courses, board rooms etc).

"Whereas women have to have their own clique, to constantly measure themselves against other women, to know where they are in the social pecking order." I don't find this true either.

It seems you are very selective in your choices of who is judging who and who is policing women, elephantspoo.

"Whereas women have to have their own clique, to constantly measure themselves against other women, to know where they are in the social pecking order."

I don't know yonic, I have been told by women working in predominantly female workplaces, e.g child care, primary school teaching that it can be horrific and borderline bullying. Have met fair number of women who enjoy people watching 'look at the state of that' etc

Though are they acting up in this manner for the male patriachy?

I work in a predominantly male environment and experience pretty much what you are describing BreakingDad, and what you quoted.

It just isn't noticed when men do it.

"Some women build little fiefdoms about themselves and have to defend their territory."

Hahahahaha. Like we've got enough allies/material to build a fucking fiefdom.