Little or big feministy things you can do to help

[BriarRainbowshimmer]

I got the idea on the thread where people said they felt sad and overwhelmed by all the sexism everywhere, I feel the same. But surely there are things we all can do.

So let's brainstorm!
I'll start
#1. Donate to Women's Aid

This is such a wonderful thread. I don't have children so I've struggled a bit to think of anything, but I've come up with this:

Celebrate bravery in women. Not being a mother myself, it's not something I have much chance to do, but I think it's important. Courage is a quality I admire hugely in my female friends and look to emulate in myself. And it's a quality I see en masse in the feminist movement: women marching against curtailment of reproductive rights, women being outspoken and gutsy generally...

In the case of a DD being reckless on a climbing frame, I suppose one would say, "Wow, you brave girl! I'm so proud of you, hold tight and don't fucking fall or you'll give me a heart attack."

Yes pumpkingordino, I think you've hit what I was trying to get at - there still seems to linger that sense of the menfolk get the pick of the most nutritious foods, and women are still carefully cultured to deny themselves.

This is a lovely thread.

#Talk to your sons (lots and lots) about female choices- trousers/skirts, long/short hair, body hair/no body hair etc
#talk to your sons about Photoshop, differences in women's bodies generally and after childbirth.
Love this thread

Going out with unshaven legs/armpits. Freely choosing to remove your own hair is all well and good, but growing up I very much felt peer pressure to shave, and if even ten percent of women had visible body hair it might not have felt mandatory.

Why after childbirth?
Except for darker nipples child birth made bugger all difference to my body. Giving boys the idea having DCs will make their DP different (ie less attractive, wrapped up in polite terms is all wrong).

I've put on weight since, but that's mostly moving to somewhere where you always need the car.

Totally agree otherwise, boys and girls both need to understand the opposite sex have insecurities about, sex, their appearance, sexuality, clothes and hair etc and that the media image of flawless women and beautiful tans muscular men owes a lot more to photoshop than reality.

Try to hide any anxieties about maths or other subjects from girls Yes.

Be aware of unconscious bias and stereotype threat and do what you can to challenge them.

Remember the great women in computing Ada Lovelace, Hedy Lamarr (not just an actress), the ENIAC women, Grace Hopper, Steve Shirley, the all-women team who did the software for Concorde's black box, Wendy Hall and many others. Remember Karen Spärck-Jones, "Computing is too important to be left to men," and encourage your daughters to learn what they can - there will be few jobs out there which don't need some level of IT skills. Help your sons to understand that women have a long history of involvement in technology, and that we need lots more (men and women) to fill the skills. Don't give away power by letting anyone think girls don't do IT.

When dressing children up as pirates it is ok to dress both son and daughter up as a pirate. Just because a daughter is dressed as a pirate doesn't mean the son has to dress as a princess. When feminist daughters get into the swing of things and socialise like mad it is fine to remind them to treat their brothers with respect and that parental finances need to b equally distributed and just because a daughter is a feminist doesn't give her the right to all the money and no housework. Gender equality is important.
At parties if some sexist bloke says a lawyer daughter 'would never loose an argument with a husband' that sexist bloke needs to be squashed and open disapproval expressed in front of said daughter with whom solidarity should be expressed loudly thus embarrassing sexist bloke.

Celebrate the nurturers and the carers

Clearly I am missing something and am v. happy to be corrected - just genuinely don't understand what the issue is.

Actors are paid more than actresses.

EBearhug

I did a mock interview with a student who wanted to do an IT course, I asked him who the first computer programmer was, he said,"I don't know his actual name" - in the feedback I told him not to use sexist language, don't assume someone is a man.

Great thread.

I guess, don't get disheartened. We're doing great. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one (in RL) fighting for these things. It's great to know we're not alone.

But if an actress calls herself an actor - does that mean she suddenly gets paid in line with men?

Honestly, this one baffles me.

But LOVE this thread and feel so v. strongly about it.

About to go 'like' Let Toys be Toys on FB. And see how else I can support the movement. The colour/gender separation of toys makes me spit with rage.

And of course, no one has to do all these things. Do as many as you can manage, personal safety and means and opportunity permitting.

Are pirates just seen as boy things these days? What would Annie Bonny and Mary Read have had to say about that?

sassh, good to hear about the mock interview. :-)

I agree with PumpkinGordino - one reason I'm always going on about women in IT is because I can make a difference there. I can't do everything, but I can do something, so I focus on that.

Thanks for the pirate talk, reminded me I meant to complain about this:
media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/04/c6/77/fa/pirate-lady-in-restaurant.jpg

And this
www.lifesize-models.co.uk/download.php?id=682&type=GALLERYIMAGE

By contrast, a male pirate at the same attraction:

www.lifesize-models.co.uk/download.php?id=682&type=GALLERYIMAGE

Ah, I wrote about this in the pub, bit I will pop it here for the traffic as well.

Today I challenged a young man about his description of one of his customers as 'a bitch'. I let the first one slip, but the second time he said it, I looked him calmly and squarely in the eye and said "So, she's not very nice..." He didn't use that word with me again. And anyway, its not her job, as his customer to be nice to him. I aim to eventually apprise him of that pearl of wisdom in the future .

Yonic, you've put the same link twice.

www.lifesize-models.co.uk/download.php?id=683&type=GALLERYIMAGE

Oops! Here's the man.

The equality thing with toys etc is important - I have a niece who proudly states that she doesn't like 'girls toys'. The thing is she does like some 'girls toys'. I have to stress to her they are all just toys, and that it's fine to like whatever you like, 'boys' toys aren't 'better' for being associated traditionally with boys. 'Girls' stuff isn't inferior.

There is such a stigma still about 'girls toys' that it is hard to see how it can undone. It is fine for girls to play with dinosaurs and pirates but boys still get comments if they want to play with buggies and baby dolls.

I agree with Elephants comments (pasted below) and felt exactly the same when I read SAHM's should do something worthwhile outside the home . Copy and pasting so you don't have to scroll the thread:

*So much for supporting all women's choices

"If you don't work outside the home, do something with your life that is more than purely being a mum and a wife and a housewife such as further study, charity work or starting a new business."

Oh do fuck off dear!*

and

*Whether you work or not, bringing up children is still predominantly done by women.

Because bringing up children is seen as women's work it gets bugger all respect in government policies or wider society.

So yes it makes me very angry when other women fall into the same trap.*

Ah, he's allowed clothing, I see. I think it would be a good message for companies to realise that showing women as well as men is good, but they should be covered up as much.

This leads me to the thought that one of the things that horrified the Royal Commission inspectors in what lead up to the 1842 Mines Act, was that women underground often worked topless, because of the heat. I wonder if any mining museums portray that?

I think this area is interesting. I remember DM going on about 'wages for housework' when I was growing up and I was always quite dismissive about it (thinking - oh stop moaning and get a proper job if I am honest). Once I became a mother I found myself doing most of the work around the house (and all the admin stuff and keeping mental lists) AS WELL as working.

Currently I am working part-time on a freelance basis from home so am round far more to look after DCs. Suddenly the 'wages for housework' argument all seems much more interesting and valid and I feel rather ashamed of my earlier 'views'. If I am not there to do all the kid stuff we have to PAY SOMEONE ELSE A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF MONEY to do it. So - by definition - it has a value. And a value that can be costed.

However, in terms of contribution to wider society and leaving one's mark on the world I do still feel it's not the same as work outside the home. So - in terms of setting an example to children if I am honest I still feel that the SAHM role isn't ideal (runs for cover).

This is probably out of turn as I am not a mother, but I do think it is important for children to learn that there is value in non-wage-earning work. That shouldn't automatically be the job of the woman obviously - both parents can demonstrate this. But there should be equal respect from the whole family for the work that keeps everything going and brings in money and the work that keeps everything going but doesn't happen to bring in money

I don't know whether I have explained that as I meant to

Also I would say that it is important for children to see both parents taking time for themselves on an equal basis. I have a mother who just never stopped and never did anything for herself, and it means I now feel guilty when I do that