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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Amal Alamuddin has changed her name professionally

490 replies

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 14/10/2014 07:12

I'm actually disappointed. Her choice blah blah but honestly. Successful women who change their names professionally always strike me as either stupid or coerced and I'm sure that's unfair I'm not really but honestly why be so committed to the concept of the obliteration of the unmarried self that you allow it to impact on your professional reputation and renown?

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 14/10/2014 12:10

Yes she has the right to choose to call herself anything she wishes, of course she does. And I have the right to feel disappointed by her choice, given the wider implications. She doesn't know me, and I'm not going to harass or troll or bother her about it. I am sure she does not give a monkeys what I think, but it's what I think.

Bonsoir · 14/10/2014 12:12

A lot of woman would have relished the opportunity to call themselves Mrs Clooney.

YonicScrewdriver · 14/10/2014 12:12

I kept my name, the kids have DH's name.

The first was a more feminist choice than the second (not least because I didn't really think about the second)

Does anyone disagree with my assessment of my own choices?

YonicScrewdriver · 14/10/2014 12:13

"A lot of woman would have relished the opportunity to call themselves Mrs Clooney."

Then they can change their name by deed poll to that.

PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 12:14

do you think that's the basis of her decision bonsoir?

VoyagerII · 14/10/2014 12:21

A lot of men would love to shag, or even marry, Angelina Jolie or Scarlett Johansson. Yet they don't tend to moon around imagining themselves giving up their birth/professional identity to become Mr Jolie or Mr Johansson and imagining that would be some kind of improvement on their life. Why not? Doesn't that say something about how women who think that way see themselves?

RiverTam · 14/10/2014 12:21

but given that everyone knows she's married to him (as she hardly has a common name herself), I don't get what difference it makes that she's taken his name, she's not going to get anymore recognition as his wife.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 14/10/2014 12:22

Lotta people have said they are disappointed in her, that she must have been coerced, that she must be stupid! That in my view is not a very good feminist stand point although I guess my idea of feminism must be different to a lot of peoples on here.

Personally, if I were to marry which I doubt I will I would keep my surname, I wouldn't want to be a Mrs and I wouldn't wear a ring. That is my choice though and I am not disappointed by others who choose otherwise. Its bizarre!

LondonRocks · 14/10/2014 12:25

Who gives a shit? Alamuddin, Clooney, we all know who she is.

I don't get the excitement over this coupling. Person marries person. Wow.

PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 12:27

why are you ducking londonrocks?

Bonsoir · 14/10/2014 12:31

PetulaGordino - I don't know whether the Clooney-Alamuddin show is serious or tongue-in-cheek. I hope it's at least partly the latter and that calling herself Mrs Clooney reflects a sense of humour. I hope the Venice weddingathon was also not entirely intended to be taken seriously...

MissBattleaxe · 14/10/2014 12:32

What she has achieved in her career is extraordinary and entirely on her own merit. How sad that the OP seems to be fixated on what she has called herself and has labelled Amal as valuing her marital status over her career.

Nobody and nothing can take away her achievements as a global human rights lawyer. If her changing her name changes your opinion of that then it's you with the problem, not her.

ItIsSmallerOnTheOutside · 14/10/2014 12:34

With regard to a women 'owning' her name. My mum had been married to my dad and had his surname for more than half her life so it seems a natural choice that she 'kept' this name when she divorced.

I was brought up with the name, as were my siblings. Despite having no contact with my father this is now 'my' name and unless something drastic happens (gun to my head etc) I will never take someone else's name. The only concession to that would be if me and dp agreed on a new name that we both changed to or both double-barrelled. My daughter has a double-barrelled surname combining both our names.

I do not think a woman who takes on her husband's name is stupid or coerced etc. I think it's just the done thing and is usually done without thought. And yes I do think think that Is a real shame. I do not believe you can really truly separate that from the idea of women as property to be owned.

To me it is a societal problem. If it were just as likely a man would take his wife's name as she to take his or them to double-barrel or invent a new name altogether then I would say women do really have choice. At the moment (actors aside) it is unusual to not take the man's name. The amount of comments we got for giving dd both our names, plus the assumption from many that she only had dp's name, showed me this.

PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 12:37

she certainly looks as though she is enjoying herself in the limited images i have seen. i hope that that's genuinely the case because all that attention is a tough thing to handle for the rest of your life if not

BrandyAlexander · 14/10/2014 12:38

I don't think she owes the "sisterhood" anything, particularly when that same sisterhood is prepared to label her as stupid etc.

I am internationally known/recognised in my field and at my level of seniority 90% of my colleagues are male. The majority of women in my position have kept their maiden name as their professional name, quite frankly because it made good business sense. When women who work for me have got married, i haven't made it my business to judge them on whether or not they change their names. I should say dfil was shocked when I kept my name. It doesn't make him a bad person, he is a man I love dearly and he got over it.

At home I am known by my married name. If people want to interpret that as dh being seen as the head of the family, that's actually not my problem. Most people who know what I do professionally recognise my status and just can't imagine me being subservient to dh. Those who don't know what I do see my relationship as that of two equals and just treat us as they see it.

bridgetsmum · 14/10/2014 12:41

There is no problem here

A married woman chooses to take her husbands name - great

A married woman carries on using her own name -great

A married man chooses to take his wife's name - great

A married couple decide to double barrel - great

A married couple decide to create a new name - great

I honestly don't see any problem with any of these options

There are much more important issues to deal with than getting your knickers in a twist over this, Smile

grimbletart · 14/10/2014 12:45

Agree with novice. It's not what you are called it's how you act and how you are recognised for what you do that counts. Either which way, whether you keep your name or change your name you have taken a man's name.
I did change my name on marriage without too much thinking about it (been married nearly 50 years so it wasn't a massive feminist issue then, even for feminists like me), but anyone who said that made my husband the head of the household would be laughed out of court by people who know me.
(I am the person who, when we got official forms to fill in with head of household on, used to cross it out and write fuck off on the form) [grin ]

PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 12:45

absolutely bridgetsmum

but when the numbers taking up that first option outweigh those taking up all of the others, and there is a misogynist history to that option, it is going to be discussed by feminists

LondonRocks · 14/10/2014 12:48

Petula –ducking because I seriously care not about this couple getting married.

Good luck to them and all that, but I'm quite unmoved by their union and don't give a proverbial about what s/he call themselves...

Lottapianos · 14/10/2014 12:50

'There are much more important issues to deal with than getting your knickers in a twist over this'

Ah, the voice of reason Hmm 167 posts before someone threw that little gem in. Well done.

PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 12:51

indeed lotta

not a sexist phrase at all, that one

fair enough londonrocks. it felt like you thought you were going to be attacked or something

bridgetsmum · 14/10/2014 12:52

Thanks Wink

bakingaddict · 14/10/2014 12:52

Most professional woman I know don't bother taking their husband's name on marriage so i'm slightly surprised by her choice but she is entitled to do that.

I don't know if it's already been said but perhaps changing her name is more to do with their longer term goals together and what role she will have in that. I suspect she will scale back most of her barrister work and become a special UN type person on human rights or such like. If George is planning on entering politics or even having a crack at running for president at some point then I can see why she would decide to take his name. America is much more conservative than over here about things like that.

LondonRocks · 14/10/2014 12:53

I think the trend is dying out.

I've noticed lots of children and their mothers having different surnames (where the parents are married). I've done just that, simply because I've had 'my' name for X number of years and choose to keep it as it is also associated with my profession. I sometimes use my 'married' name on certain documents but it does get a bit confusing.

PetulaGordino · 14/10/2014 12:53

i wondered that bakingaddict. she must see some advantage