Amal Alamuddin has changed her name professionally

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

I'm actually disappointed. Her choice blah blah but honestly. Successful women who change their names professionally always strike me as either stupid or coerced and I'm sure that's unfair I'm not really but honestly why be so committed to the concept of the obliteration of the unmarried self that you allow it to impact on your professional reputation and renown?

novice you have misread me. That's the point in making. I agree with you.

I don't really think Amal is stupid, but I think the choice is really stupid. Is that ok?

I was making the point about high profile career women because changing names harms their career and that's why it's even stranger that they change their name. That's the distinction between Amal and Mrs SAHM.
Have I answered all the questions ?

I was judgemental and opinionated in my OP. I don't really believe that Amal is stupid but I suspect she is wearing her husband 's name as some kind of achievement and I think that's sad. As with the people on this thread who say they are 'proud' to name change on marriage. Marriage isn't a fucking achievement or badge of status. Well it shouldn't be.

Re-read your posey properly novice, I actually don't agree with you. Should take my own advice!

Duned by that argument you could say that it's unfeminist to get married in the first place. I'm well aware of the origin of name change, but meaning can change over time. For what it's worse, in my family and circle of friends there are all combinations - women who took their husband's name, men who took their wives' name ( and in one case passed it on to the next after divorce), couples where both kept their own name. That symbolism thankfully can be lost, if you stop assigning that meaning to it.

MrsBuffyCockhead I agree with you. Though I suggest you change your name before running for office.

Yes I agree, I would prefer a civil partnership to a marriage, and I have never married, partly because of the connotations it brings. It would make me uncomfortable to think of myself as a "wife" because of the associations that has for me. I don't think it necessarily need always be that way and as Wadham says, if you have a situation where it's a genuinely even split between men and women changing their name, the issue is gone. Society-wide, though, as well as in most people's circles, we don't have that.

Also, the reason I don't think the symbolism is lost is because a whole lot of women do change their name because of pressures put on them or not wanting to stand out or rock the boat. It's not divorced from its origins. It still is deeply associated with seeing men as the more important partner. I think that's made clear by the fact that if you ask a man to do it, he'll generally not be keen (though I accept some men do do it). If it's entirely meaningless and symbolises nothing, and is "easier", why would any man mind?

Wadman sorry

this is just musing, i haven't really thought about it at any length, but are women (as a class) socialised to see their surnames as temporary until marriage do you think (in the uk and other countries where the tradition is for the woman to take the man's name)? like a "placeholder" until she takes her husband's name (in a similar way to "miss" as a placeholder for "mrs" perhaps)?

I didn't change my name when we got married, it felt like a very important political point at the time. And i was worried about losing my identity in some way. We also already had our children and thought it would be confusing for them. In retrospect, eleven years on, Ikinda wish I had changed my name. To build a new family identity for all of us. But to be fair the one time i suggested, pre-wedding-that we just choose a new name and all of us change, it was not well recieved......

Names are potent symbols, weather we change or not is very personal and there are many reasons for and against. What choosing to change does not make you, in and of itself, is a bad feminist.

I think you are right Petula, given the automatic maiden name type questions.

I agree that choosing to change doesn't make you a bad feminist. I didn't change my name, but I have made other choices that are not feminist choices. It's very difficult for a woman to survive in our society without making heavy compromises. But I try to be mindful about my choices and recognize that they have wider implications.

My career has taken second place to my husband's for a variety of reasons, family responsibilities among them. I have some regrets about that.

It's obviously the totality of a life and one's choices that matter most.

I do so wish that my husband had been the Cockhead

Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed that statement!

As you were...

DunedinSunshine Yes. I agree. I could have written your last post.

All you burn the bra type of women are the worst. You scream feminism but you are also the first to find a guy and marry him. With you, haters, Leopards change their spots when it suits them.

Sheltered Housing are full of burn the bra type women who live all on their lonesome.

There is nothing wrong with a woman taking her husbands name- except with you bunch of haters- hate -hate -hate- hate............

Hands up all of you who have watched Notting Hill and loved it ?

DOUBLE STANDARDS

You scream feminism but you are also the first to find a guy and marry him.

Erm... after my bra-burning diatribes below, my most recent post is about how I have also never got married. (Despite, amazingly, having a man and having kids with him.)

Livin' the dream...

(I can't even remember what happens in Notting Hill)

Nothing Hill is RUBBISH.

Is there a bra-burning event somewhere I don't know about? Nobody ever tells me anything.

And it's suddenly gained a whole new relevance, Showme :)

I love living on my own

...maybe she just really hated her maiden name?