37 year old man here

[BlueStahli]

Hello,

I'm a 37 year old male, married, with two children--a boy and a girl.

I've always had an issue with sexism. But only recently have I been delving headlong into it. I've been researching facts and studies, talking to people, getting opinions, and voicing my own views. In the process, I stumbled across this site. So I joined. I hope to learn much here. Needless to say, I'll be spending most of my time hanging out in the feminism forum.

My reasons for being here are three-fold:

1. I want facts! I want to know how sexism and discrimination have been measured/studied scientifically and what results have been found. I want to know what kinds of government policies and human rights have been instated (or removed) and where in the world this has happened. I'm tired of anecdotal stories and questioning how biased people's claims are and I feel I'm ready to take a position on more secure grounds--but I need to build those grounds first.

2. I feel I can contribute much to feminism by offering a man's perspective. I wear my heart of my sleeve and I'm not afraid to reveal personal information. But I also feel that if I'm going to give my perspective on certain issues, I'm going to have to earn the right to do it first (so you won't get it in my first post :)). I'm confident that I can do this in a constructive/non-offensive way, and if I ever do step out of line (never advertently), I'm open to being corrected. Ultimately, I feel that if two groups are trying to settle their differences, there's no better way than to hear the perspectives on both sides.

3. I've got issues! :) I really do! Like I said, I've always had issues with sexism, and lately I've been on a self-induced "therapy kick". I've been forcing myself to "get over it". Diving into the issue with other peopleother womenis how I'm doing it. I don't think I'll ever be "cured" of my issues, but if I'm going to be stuck with them, I figure I might as well have them for the right reasons (i.e. educating myself--as in #1 above).

So that's my spiel.

So first order of business: I'd like to ask if there are any males on this forum--particularly ones that frequent the feminism forum. I'd like to ask their advice on how a man conducts himself on a forum devote to moms and feminism.

Thanks :)

I also feel that if I'm going to give my perspective on certain issues, I'm going to have to earn the right to do it first (so you won't get it in my first post smile). I'm confident that I can do this in a constructive/non-offensive way, and if I ever do step out of line (never advertently), I'm open to being corrected

Are you feeling 'corrected' yet OP? Are you even coming back at all?

"Bitter (probably ugly?) "

lol

I want facts! I want to know how sexism and discrimination have been measured/studied scientifically and what results have been found

Throughout history women have been oppressed, in 1893 New Zealand allowed women to vote, it was the first country to do so.

Not all countries allow women to vote, some ban everyone from voting, none allows women to vote but not men.

You might not be interested in anecdotes, but if you have a mother, sister, girlfriend she has been a victim of sexism. She may have been raped of sexually assaulted.

As a man your chance of rape in prison is 1/4, that's the same as for a woman in any part of Britain.

At no time have boys out performed girls in any standardised or national tests such as O Levels or GCSEs, but boys have always been paid more and found it easier to get a job.

Have a look at parliament, how many men are there in positions of power compared to women? How many of them are criticised for their looks (the men)?

I'm open to being corrected. Ultimately, I feel that if two groups are trying to settle their differences, there's no better way than to hear the perspectives on both sides.

Both sides? Why the hell would I want to listen to the side that thinks I'm inferior because I have a vagina?

Because that's what the 'other side' is. Now would you, no matter how politely go on a forum for black people and ask them if you could put forward the racist view? Or a forum for gay men and ask to put forward a homophobic view?

There are no differences to settle. Either you believe all human beings are human and born equal or you don't. If the former why would you want to listen to someone who believes some humans are inferior? If you are the latter, well there is no hope for you.

Now run along and play with your toys, come back when you can contribute something useful.

He can't play with his toys, he threw them out...

CRYING with laughter at the OP.

me too gin its too funny.

I found this, it seemed appropriate.

Come back OP! I need a laugh and if you want to be down with the feminists, you will need a sense of humour. We are famous for it

First "James" and now "blue"

I am feeling a bit unfulfilled to be honest

I was hoping for an in depth discussion about how to be a feminist and they both just disappear

I may go back to lurking

And OP hasn't been back?

No?

Ya don't say!

That made me laugh AbbieHoffmans - which I needed. Thank you.

It does seem a huge amount of effort for the OP to put in, to then simply disappear when not greeted with universal acclamation. If I was in a Men's Group I'd invite him to it

What are you talking about kujopiya? 1 in 4 women being raped is not based on some college campus study in the US from the 80s. sashh was talking about the UK for a start.

It hasn't been debunked at all.

OK, I'll take issue with your first point. I'm female and a scientist by nature. In this case, the science is largely qualitative, but there are statistics out there about the types of experiences of objectification experienced by women, for instance. maybe start by having a look at the everyday sexism project. Yes, it can be argued that the plural of anecdote is not data, but when thousands of anecdotes correlate, you begin to spot a pattern.

While you're here, have a look at the relationship boards, where you will see plenty of examples of how much women can be damaged by the sheer forcefulness of some male personalities. Common experiences seem to be belittlement for being fat or stupid or a lousy housewife.

Science and statistics can add a sense of order to otherwise confusing data, but you need to be careful not to overlook the painful reality of so many women's own personal experiences.

I don't really understand the relevance of kujo's posts

So there isn't a bad man around every corner?! Good oh, that'll save money on self defence classes

surprised it has taken so long for someone to come and put us right

So kujopiya, if the true statistic were 1 in 5, or 1 in 20 – or something else – is that ok? What would be acceptable?

As for your litany of how men have it tough, I don't see anyone here trying to stop men from dealing with their problems differently, quite the opposite.

Um

If people believed take was not uncommon they would have believed all of the victims who got told to fuck off by police, social services etc etc over the years.

So, um...

Stupid post.