This bit.
An alternative is that a drunk woman, having sex in a hotel room with a man a lot stronger than she who she has had some conversation with, is surprised and horrified when the door of a locked hotel room opens whilst she is naked. In comes another man much stronger than she, a total stranger to her, who she has neither met nor invited to watch her naked, having sex.
Instead of turning round and telling the stranger to fuck off, the man she is with stops having sex with her and greets the stranger in such a way that it's clear they are friends and that he's not surprised to see the stranger, in fact, he invited him. He is on the stranger's side, not hers.
The stranger doesn't back out apologising, he walks forward and takes out his penis. He has clearly come here with the intent to have sex with whichever woman was on the bed, and the other man isn't about to step in.
Now this bit...
My friend works in a nursing home. I pop in one day, ask her which of her patients has memory issues. She tells me. I ask her if I can take £100 out of that lady's drawer. She says yes. We go up to the room together, the old lady recognises her and not me. She's not sure why I'm there but someone she trusted seems to have invited me.
The money goes into my bag.
Subsequently the old lady forgets the incident. Her relatives notice the £100 is missing and the visitors' book shows I was there that day. I cheerfully admit to taking the money but say to the police I asked my friend first and she said it was fine.
It goes to court, my story in court is that I asked the old lady and she said it was fine; my friend backs up this story, she's also on a charge of theft or assisting theft.
Are you telling me that the jury can listen to the original statements to the police, to my statement that old ladies love to give me money because of my daughterly demeanour, to the cross examination of me and my friend, but will have to reach a not guilty verdict?
It's not disputed that she was drunk. What is disputed is if she was capable of consenting or if she actually consented.