Queenmab, what you said upthread about the balance not needing to tip much before you said to DP "this is killing me, in a way that it will never kill you; the world is not set up for women to WOH - this is your job". That strikes such a chord. I am a huge advocate of women working outside the home wherever feasible, I am not always as sympathetic as I could be to the 'but it works best for our family for me to be at home' argument, and even still.
It is SO much fucking harder to work outside the home if you're a woman. It just is, and I feel like that needs to be said out loud, often. Even if you get rid of the home side of the equation: that is, that women bear the brunt of the responsibility for childcare, the societal expectations, the second shift, etc., there is still this huge weight on the other side of the equation, which is that it is bloody easier for men to work!
I'm ranty about this today because I am feeling really frustrated about my own job, in which this plays out time after time. It's not a high-pressure, or particularly 'macho' occupation, and all but one of the people I work with is female (hey, guess which person is the boss?), and even still.
A few weeks ago, an advocate for an affiliated industry group came to talk to me and my boss (I am second to the CEO) about something. Fine, we all chatted, agreed that when he had some more people on board we'd consider attending a working group. He followed up by email to just my boss. Who didn't reply. Weeks later he rang my boss to follow up; in his absence, I talked to him, assured him that I was still interested, would be available to attend said meeting even if boss couldn't also come, was across the issues. Etc. Fine. Today I realise that the meeting is set for tomorrow. Why don't I know this? Because I have not been sent an invitation to it, only boss has. Grrr. GRRRRRRR. This is not a highly specialised, top level fucking Pentagon meeting. This is a basic working group. I am grrrrr.