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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Can a woman survive without a man or sex in her life?

78 replies

hennalyn · 11/02/2014 05:28

This question may be sensitive and simple. We know that most men can't go long with women and sex, how about for women? Can we really live without them for the rest of our lives?

OP posts:

ubersquiz · 17/10/2014 21:06

Its not fatal, but its not good for you.
Some recent studies have concluded that solace is actually worse than obesity for a number of reasons.

Kaneda · 08/02/2015 12:06

Depends on the person. Some men and some women can be happy single with no sex. Some prefer it that way. Some can get by with no sex and some will be unhappy. I think this is probably a fine example of where two groups one has a greater need for sex on average (men) but the variation within the groups means there is a very large overlap between them. Thinking about the people I've known in my lifetime, I've known both men and women who fall into the need sex camp and the happy without it camp.

tropicalholidayhereicome · 08/02/2015 12:10

Personally I would find it very difficult

SardineQueen · 08/02/2015 12:16

Want

They want sex

Not need it.

Lweji · 08/02/2015 12:17

Anyone can survive without a partner and without sex.
I think you want to know if they can be happy.

And I suspect you also meant "We know that most men can't go long without women and sex"
We don't know that, it would only apply to heterosexual men and I'd say that most men don't want or won't go long, not that they can't.

Some people yes, some less so.

But no partner is definitely better than a bad partner. It's really not worth getting a partner at any cost just for the sake of having someone at home or sex.

Lweji · 08/02/2015 12:20

Also, "solace" is not the same as "celibacy".

If anything, in that context, solace would be more related to having sex not the lack of it.

SoonToBeSix · 08/02/2015 12:21

I disagree slightly Annie, yes men obviously can be celibate and should be unless they have a willing partner. However I do think men do " need" sex in a way that women don't.

tropicalholidayhereicome · 08/02/2015 12:22

I couldn't cope without sex. I don't know how anyone could, and would find it a very bleak existence for the rest of my life. I expect I would spend a lot of time feeling short tempered.

timer · 08/02/2015 12:24

Being in some relationships - even with sex - can be far lonelier than being single.

SardineQueen · 08/02/2015 12:25

Given that you're either a man or a woman, soontobesix, you can't know that surely.

Also within the sexes there will be large variations.

Some women will feel like they're going bananas if they don't get some, some men will be totally comfortable.

Also there is a problem in that what happens if we accept that men need sex, like they need food or drink, then what does that mean if there is no-one available to willingly have sex with them. Bit of a problem, that.

Oh OH what about men in prison? The ones who aren't having sex with other men? If men NEED sex with women then surely women should be provided same as food and water are provided else it's a breach of their right to life.

SardineQueen · 08/02/2015 12:27

What if a man needs sex but his sexual preference is illegal?

You see as soon as you say men need sex like they need food or drink then you're in a whole big awful situation.

At the moment this "need" is used to excuse all sorts of fucking appalling behaviour.

tropicalholidayhereicome · 08/02/2015 12:29

It isn't a need as in you will die without it, but it is up there as very important for the majority I would say. The longest I have gone without sex since 16 is 2 weeks and that was only after each birth, and that annoyed me. It is a very important physical drive, and I suppose an animal instinct to want regular sex.

FarelyKnuts · 08/02/2015 12:29

I seem to be doing quite well so far without a "man in my life". But then considering I'm a lesbian it kind of goes with the territory :o

What a heteronormative statement! Even seeing aside the multitude of women who identify as straight who get on just fine without them.

Preciousbane · 08/02/2015 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoonToBeSix · 08/02/2015 12:31

Sardine no I don't know it for sure it's just my opinion.

tropicalholidayhereicome · 08/02/2015 12:34

I doubt that is true soontobesix. There are often threads on here about men with low sex drives. I think happiness comes from finding someone who wants sex as frequently as you do. For some of either gender it is not important, but overall I would say most people want regular sex.

Lweji · 08/02/2015 12:35

There is a wide range, from people who will go nuts without it in a very regular basis (although I'd probably consider it an addiction if that is the case) to people who'd rather be without.
Tropical would be towards the first extreme and I doubt the majority feels like that. Men or women.

tropicalholidayhereicome · 08/02/2015 12:38

Regular weekly sex is hardly an extreme view

TheyLearnedFromBrian · 08/02/2015 12:40

WTF? Nobody 'needs' sex. They won't die. And if they themselves consider that they need to orgasm, they masturbate. The ability to satisfy the physical 'need', if there even is one, without another person present is there for the taking.

And the idea of men 'needing' sex more than women, like some universal truth that at some level we just have to shrug and accept, is simple rape culture talk. Nothing more. It's bullshit.

SardineQueen · 08/02/2015 12:42

Loads of people live their lives without having sex every week from the age of 16 to the end, without any ill effects.

TheyLearnedFromBrian · 08/02/2015 12:43

Exactly Lweji, those that DO consider that they 'need' sex to the point where they'd not cope without it - are addicted. Just as alcoholics, heroin addicts etc., are addicted. They think they couldn't cope without x. They could of course, but they're addicts, and that, not the availability or otherwise of their poison of choice, is the problem.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 08/02/2015 12:43

I disagree slightly Annie, yes men obviously can be celibate and should be unless they have a willing partner. However I do think men do " need" sex in a way that women don't.

Women enjoy sex as much as men. Women are worth as much as men. Both sexes do not "need" sex, enjoyable though it is. To state men "need" sex is a very dated opinion.

tropicalholidayhereicome · 08/02/2015 12:43

You can live without lot of things, but that won't always mean a person is happy to live without them.

SardineQueen · 08/02/2015 12:44

The "need" is used to excuse some illegal / awful behaviour isn't it.

When in fact it's just "I want to do this and that desire is more important than what other people want".

It's just an expression of entitlement is all.

PetulaGordino · 08/02/2015 12:47

I don't need sex to survive but I would be less happy without it. I imagine other women and men feel similarly, some might feel worse than I might without sex, others better. What with us all being different and all that

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