Horrifying comments re. Everyday Sexism

[ShirakawaKaede]

Why is every comment I see on pretty much any newspaper site (and almost any other site which isn't specifically female-oriented) by men and why are they always totally sexist & right-wing?

Case in point: www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/fighting-back-the-woman-giving-a-voice-and-49999-others-to-the-victims-of-sexism--by-giving-an-airing-to-their-horror-stories-9004180.html

"women are very empowered, generally diverse in whether to be mums, models, workers, professional workers, party or busy or sporty types. Men are good or bad. Very unempowered."

"Nature has caused us men to be very attracted to women. We can't help this. This allows for women to have enormous power over men, but power has to be used wisely or it can harm."

I say this a lot, but I DESPAIR. Why are there NO women commenting?

Agree that is a horriying comment. I find it really frightening when an appetitive stance of men towards women is mispresented as a power that women have over men. So that the more aggressively a man stalks a woman the more she is (in his self-justifications) tyrannising over him. That's kind of self-serving delusion that leaves women with no way out at all.

Because raising your head above the parapet as a woman leads to more misogyny and abuse in your direction. Public spaces are male spaces.

Because it takes time and energy to bat back and in spaces like that you are often the lone voice.

Because it's scary.

What scallops said. They're the exact reasons I don't comment.

It does astonish and scare me OP, the vitriol and resentment that seems to spring forth at any given opportunity, and the wilful misrepresentation of any woman's motives or words when she is brave enough to call out sexism.

YY what the others said.

Also when you see comments like that, it doesn't make you feel like it's a safe place or even a neutral place to comment. Nope, it makes you feel downright attacked and that's before you've even clicked on "add comment" (Or, in real life, opened your mouth - both things that some men would prefer that women didn't do :(). I avoid reading the comments TBH, let alone writing my own.

And it feels pointless. When somebody can have such an outraged and ridiculous reaction to a calmly and well written article, they aren't likely to have their mind changed if you tap them on the shoulder and say politely "Well, actually..."

I know it should be challenged for others who are reading but sometimes (often) it feels so hopeless. And it is an emotionally charged area anyway so it "costs" in emotional energy to put your feelings, experience, opinions out there. But for the men who dismiss it so lightly, it is nothing to them. So they can keep on batting back every post, effortlessly, without expending much energy at all. In fact, some of them do it for a laugh, surpassing their actual views, just because it becomes a game, a form of trolling "Lol, look at the silly women getting wound up."

"All women are not socialists"

I get absolutely fucking sick and tired of the idea that to be a feminist you must read the Guardian and vote Labour!

Yes it is scary and depressing that the comment section of almost everything tend to be full of aggressive misogynist (and racist, homophobic) men. I will avoid entire sites because of this or at least not comment.

If I comment on an article I usually do it because I want to tell the writer what i thought, my comment is to the writer or to other reasonable readers. And not come back and argue with wankers, that's pointless, the meaning of their existance is bashing people online, it seems.

Public spaces are male spaces - yes Scallops men seem to think so. They're working hard to make it so. I want things to be different and fair like they should be but what to do, few wants to stay in a completely toxic online environment where you are harassed.

Youtube is terrible for this sort of thing. I've stopped reading the comments on there.

I'm quite convinced that a lot of the bile spewed online is the work of a small group of deeply nasty, bitter and hateful men. You come across the same arguments, worded in the same way, on Comment is Free, Digital Spy and before, the Channel 4 forums.

I read that piece yesterday and the comments were so depressing. Can you imagine similar comments to an article about racist hatred?

I agree with small clanger that it's a few men being quite vocal on there and hopefully not very representative. They're so defensive, determined to deny any problem exists.

It honestly just spurs me on though, that more needs to be done.

And I do comment, you can do it anonymously. I can't stand to see these things go unchallenged. Moreover, it looks like they're in the majority, if you don't.

Starballbunny - I'm a feminist but don't read the guardian, vote labour, and don't describe myself as a socialist - I wasn't implying that you have to be left wing to be feminist, just that the men who comment usually seem to be super right-wing as well as misogynistic.

Ashesgirl - I hate to let these things go unchallenged too but they often do as - as many people above have said, you feel attacked when you do comment, so a lot of women don't - so we end up in a catch-22 situation.

I know to your eye it doesn't seem sexist what you just said but it is you said all men are sexist, that's just so so wrong

The article is now showing 0 comments. Perhaps the editors read this thread

@mrgrowlyface Where in this thread has anyone said that all men are sexist?

I suggest that you return to under your bridge.

Mumsnet is the only talk board I use. I read the quality papers but the misogyny in the comments sections is so overwhelming I cannot bring myself to engage. I imagine I am not the only one.

I know to your eye it doesn't seem sexist what you just said but it is you said all men are sexist, that's just so so wrong

Mrgrowlyface - that's not what she said at all.

She did not say that all men make misogynistic comments, she said, of the comments, many were misogynistic, and all those misogynistic comments were from men.

Many men have a deep fear of women. They don't understand women, they want to control, to "own" what they fear. When they can't they feel threatened and this turns to hate.
In its mild form this comes out as "humour" (Mil jokes, "my wife is so...."), right up to rape and murder.

To be fair, how do you know the sex of the people commenting? I comment only under assumed names and in fact use a male name sometimes (I'm not, but it cuts out a lot of the crap).

Not clear how you think you can tell if commenters on the Independent are male.

Places where you have no choice but to log in with facebook at least give you a pretty good idea of who the commenter actually is, but that doesn't apply to the Independent, the Guardian, Mail, Telegraph...

I do notice more men commenting on articles about women, because clearly these articles attract the MRA crowd.

I always wonder how these five year old threads start up again

Just a thought, MrGrowlyFace, but given this thread is 5 years old, I suspect the OP may have moved on.

Argh, crossposted.

I always wonder how these five year old threads start up again

And what the motivation could possibly be to resurrect it. [scratches head] I wonder...

It's Friday night, Mr growly face, shouldn't you be out mixing with real people or are you an incel who's wandered into the wrong Internet room?

"Lewis' Law is an internet axiom asserting “The comments on any article about feminism justify feminism.” Similar to Godwin's Law and The Greater Internet Dickwad Theory, it serves as a reminder that the longer an online discussion lasts, the more likely it will eventually contain ad hominem attacks and shitposting."

Greater Internet Dickwad Theory

Best ever theory of all time.

Tm the bewilderness