We are not further on because we in-fight IMO.
I find a lot of the feminism stuff fascinating, and am very passionate about getting girls young - to ensure that they grow up with a built-in belief that they can try and fail, they can compete - life is not limited if they don't want it to be. A lot of the problem with girls is their view of themselves and self-worth - especially in teens; if they think that they have to be x,y,z to impress a boy then that's what a teen will do.
I find a lot of the hand-wringing a turn off. As an adult woman with a strong sense of self I am pissed off when someone tries to ascribe a set sense of characteristics to me. For eg, I am quite happy for my husband to go out whenever there is a do on, he doesn't go to the pub regularly but when he does go out he is invariably shitfaced - this is fine in our relationship because he doesn't take the piss, if he did I would let him know (the same courtesy is reciprocated my way). Our relationship is equal and that is fine.
I like the blurred lines song - the words are shitty, the video is a big pile of crap, but the song is super catchy and I like the way it sounds. This does not make me a non-feminist - I am more bothered by the sexualisation of all the female singers, and the way it is dripfed to girls that this is how you will 'get a man'.
The gay rights thing is very simple - do not treat me badly because of who I find attractive or who I have sex with, it is a clear message and everyone can jump on board the message - no matter if they are super camp/super butch/wear their sexuality on their sleeve or not, it is clear and defined.
There are so many different levels of feminism - for eg, through the years I have put up with some horrendous sexism, if I hadn't I wouldn't be where I am now - where I am now is in a position where I can be a positive role model for the young girls who work under me. The biggest compliment I ever got was one of the young girls saying "I want to be like you when I'm older - you don't take any crap off the guys and they like you". The guys I work with like me because I am working alongside them and doing what they are doing, well, without constantly pointing out that I am a woman. So am I a feminist because I am encouraging free thinking and self-worth and belief in a younger generation, or have I let the side down because I have not fought every battle that befell me??
It seems sometimes that you have to fully commit to all the ideals or you are not allowed to 'be in the gang'. The reason we are so effectively kept in our place is because we still fall for the divide and conquer tactics that are used against us.
Things have changed hugely over the years, slowly, but a lot. My grandma was not allowed a mortgage when she left her abusive husband with 2 children in the 50s, because she didn't have a man to sign it; I could get a mortgage whenever I want. My mum was sacked from her job because she was pregnant with me - this was legal in the forces until 1993/4 only 20 years ago, I am still in the forces with 2 children. There are only 5 female technicians at FS rank in the RAF - 5. There are hundreds of men at this rank, there are NO female Warrant Officers as yet - these things are slowly changing - we just need to keep on encouraging the change, and stop overthinking the small stuff. Stop picking on each other, but keep challenging people to think.
I've seen very good posts on threads where 'one of the feminists' is patiently making points or challenging assumptions - it must be quite tiresome to think you are beating your head off a wall, but I can guarantee that quite a few women will read it and have a mindset change, however small - I definitely have.
All in all, a huge long ramble which probably makes no real sense, but I just wanted to get it down - strength is in numbers and there are so many different ways to 'be a feminist', it's not prescriptive.