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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

They're making pink Nerf guns now, Mummy, so girls have can them too!!

41 replies

AnnieLobeseder · 03/11/2013 11:26

... said DD1 to me this morning with her eyes alight.

I just want to weep.

For all that I tell them again and again that girls can have any toy, that there are no girl and boy toys and colours.... the message is apparently falling on deaf ears amongst the onslaught of pinkification my children are subjected to.

DD1 honestly believed she couldn't have a Nerf gun because they were for boys, even though she wanted one. But now there's a pink one, she's good to go.

And still you get people saying that pinkification isn't an issue and you should just ignore it and buy "what your children want".

FFS! Angry

OP posts:
GobblersAnyKnobFucker · 03/11/2013 11:31

Sheesh really? Jesus.

Pink bastard 'Lego Friends' already represents all that is wrong with the world and makes me want to weep.

Luckily dd is already quite happy with her Nerf Maverick in unisex grey and yellow Grin

SmilesandSunshine · 03/11/2013 11:31

It's how they're advertised as well, loads of boys charging round and not a girl in sight!

GoofyIsACow · 03/11/2013 11:36

That is terrible, i vividly remember asking my mum for an action man in our local shop, she said 'you cant have one, they are for boys' the shop assistant and my mum both laughed. I was mortified, i felt so stupid for asking.
I know they didnt mean to upset me, my mum would have been devastated if she knew how upset i was, she just genuinely believed girls couldnt play with them! This is 27/28 years ago.

Things, with the toy makers at least, it seems, haven't moved on very far! :(

AlmightyMess · 03/11/2013 11:37

Could not agree more.

I find it painful in toy shops that the aisles are separated into girls and boys. The Lego, nerf guns on one aisle, dolls, princesses, and everything punk in the other.

I'm trying so hard to teach my kids they can play with whatever they like but I honestly have to convince them.

Allot is pressure from their peers. Dd won't wear smart school shorts because a girl laughed at her and told her she was dressed like a boy.

AlmightyMess · 03/11/2013 11:38

Punk Confused pink

GoofyIsACow · 03/11/2013 11:45

DS1 has a pink micro scooter which i bought second hand, i am so proud of him for not even batting an eyelid, he just zooms around on his new scooter!

FreakinRexManningDay · 03/11/2013 13:40

I found it really hard to restrain myself recently when a little girl held up a pair of Monsters Inc pyjamas in a shop and her mother said You don't want them they're for boys. Or when dd s nursery teacher told me she fell in a puddle and they had to change her but she was wearing boys clothes. I did pipe up and say I'm pretty sure she'll be OK.

So the pinkification is being bought by parents of girls. Why?!

KateCroydon · 03/11/2013 13:45

AlmightyMess.

Punk toys would be great, or how about grunge action man in a flowery dress and DMs?

Rosencrantz · 03/11/2013 13:47

Get her a normal coloured one for Xmas?

Original poster
AnnieLobeseder · 03/11/2013 14:06

The thing is, she went to a Nerf party at a friend's house recently (and was the only girl there). She used orange guns and yellow guns and blue guns, none of them exploded in her hands or caused her to melt into a puddle because they weren't pink!

And then she decided to stop joining in the shooting and instead took on the role of "nurse for the wounded". Hmm

She knows she can have any toy she likes. She has trains and cars and Lego (not Friends!) along with Barbies and Monster High. She knows she can have toys and clothes in any colour.

But still the accursed advertising is getting to her. Sad

DD2 once refused to let me buy her Gruffalo wellies after she saw the "For Boys" label on them (thanks, Sainsbury's Hmm ).

I try to be as strong an influence as I can, but sometimes I despair that I can't win. Sad

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 03/11/2013 14:08

It's pernicious and makes me v angry - I feel your pain.

No idea what to do about it - it does seem that this kind of marketing works and people buy pink shit for their girls and blue crap for their boys. It is very hard to escape Angry

fuzzpig · 03/11/2013 14:27

Argh just wrote a long post and lost it. I totally agree, anyway!

FreakinRexManningDay · 03/11/2013 14:30

Yes I can see the whole pink glittery tat aimed at girls. I yearn for the days of cbeebies with no advertisements. Dd1 didn't even know about adverts until she was about 5.

FreakinRexManningDay · 03/11/2013 14:31

On a side point I saw a buggy for sale on a local buy and sell site. It was advertised as a boys buggy. It was black and red.

fuzzpig · 03/11/2013 14:36

I've been looking at onesies for DD (she is desperate for one, no idea why!) and found this gruffalo one - unfortunately they aren't big enough but why why why is it 'for boys' Debenhams? Why does it not just say 'childrens'' FFS. DD would be over the moon with it.

Original poster
AnnieLobeseder · 03/11/2013 14:43

I get especially angry over this because I believe these divisions along gender lines for children is where it all starts; the Us vs Them of men and women, where we view each other suspiciously as different species, rather than just People with slightly different genitalia.

OP posts:
Madratlady · 03/11/2013 14:47

We just bought a pram for our first DC, a boy, it's a very dark pink, kind of raspberry. A couple of people, including the shop assistant when we picked it, seem to think it's strange. I despair.

fuzzpig · 03/11/2013 15:03

It's so ingrained that I sometimes struggle with it myself. Earlier this year I went to a huge Disney Store with the aim of getting lunchboxes for my DCs in time for the new school year. I'd already seen a Sully one.

Got there and found a planes one which I chose for DS (he loves aeroplanes), and I still got all angsty because I wasn't sure if DD would be happy with the Sully one because all the other ones there were pink sparkly princess/fairy type ones and surely she would like one of those.

It's ridiculous. I felt like she would feel she was missing out (i should point out she wasn't with me BTW so wouldn't even see what else was available!) even though a) she LOVES Monsters Inc and b) she adored last year's totally 'non-girly' lunchbox which was a Dalek.

I was quite embarrassed with my own thoughts at this point. Got the Sully one and she was ecstatically happy with it.

Astarael · 03/11/2013 15:13

madratlady is it the icandy peach jogger? We bought that in "cranberry" which sounds like what you're describing when pregnant and dc was a surprise. She turned out to be a girl and more than one person has assumed I bought it with gender in mind and asked if I'll buy another one if future dc #2 is a boy.

I had thought it was a nice gender neutral colour.

PacificDogwood · 03/11/2013 15:17

The Disney store must be one the worst places on this planet for that kind of gendered merchandising.

Did none of you know that if you put your boy baby in to a 'pink' Hmm pram, he'll turn gay??

Oh gah Angry.

Other countries seem to manage the 'nice bright colour for children' a bit better although it is sneaking in everywhere.

Yy to this is where it starts (or even earlier when it works on the future parents) and to we are all just People with slightly different genitalia.

CoolStoryBro · 03/11/2013 15:29

I don't think you can entirely blame the manufacturers if your dd "honestly believed she couldn't have a Nerf gun because they were for girls, even though she wanted one".

My DD has just got one of the Nerf Rebels after years of chasing around her brothers with her own yellow versions. But she always known she can have any toy she likes, as have her brothers.

NoComet · 03/11/2013 15:29

But they are boys, is enough to drive you nuts.

DD2 you are 12, you have heaps of hot wheel cars, so why are gender neutral sports shop trainer liners OK, but M&S boys ones aren't.

White socks, are white socks, what the fuck does it matter what the cardboard says

Original poster
AnnieLobeseder · 03/11/2013 15:50

CoolStoryBro - who else would you like me to blame then? Because I've certainly been telling my DDs for years that they can actually have toys which aren't pink and sparkly. Sadly they don't seem to believe me.

You sound a little smug with your "But she always known she can have any toy she likes, as have her brothers." Are you suggesting I just haven't made that point clearly enough?

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 03/11/2013 15:54

It's not even 'rebel' - it's 'rebelle' - I guess the normal word just wasn't girly enough!

PacificDogwood · 03/11/2013 15:59

That is what makes it so pernicious and all-encompassing - the children internalise it, a lot of parents/grandparents/other nice people who buy present for children internalise it and in combination with the whole tween attitude of 'boys are stupid' or 'girls are yeuch' that is so common, it's a marketing person's wet dream.

"Rebelle" made me go 'ack' - even DH (who is not exactly a New Man) 'got' why it annoyed me.
I wonder whether it's a tenuous connection to The Hunger Games or (R)Evolution and their respective heroines?? I may be over thinking...

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