Marrying badly

[2tiredtocare]

I went to a child's birthday party on the weekend that was held in the parents very large house this started all the mums talking about their houses/house sizes and one of women was moaning about 'marrying badly' and everyone agreed! Argh, I pointed out what was wrong with that statement but everyone now thinks I'm from another planet

Sigh.

Those moments get you, don't they? You say something you think is perfectly normal and people look at your like you are utterly incomprehensible. It happens to me a lot on feminist issues.

I see this more as a class issue, essentially the defence of endogamy.

And it is a traditional approach to class markers that puts the household's standing as at of the husband.

I think people say stuff like that because they think it is funny or amiable. i doubt they meant anything horrible - after all they probably love their thoroughly unsuitable husbands...

But it says a lot about the expectations placed on men - to provide a decent standard of living for their wives and children.

As feminists we probably don't believe that nonsense, but some women still do and the pressure they put on their husbands must be immense. Don't want to be all "Oh, poor men" because they get plenty of benefits - but they must feel bad if they don't measure up as much as they are expected to.

Marrying badly is based on the idea that a woman provides sex, childcare and housework in return for a good standard of living. It is basically seeing marriage as a form of prostitution. It is a very sad way to view what should actually be a relationship based on love. But I think some marriages are genuinely based on a form of prostitution/hired housekeeper.

I would have been tempted to say that I was lucky enough not to have to choose prostitution to earn my living. :)