The Feminist Pub is Open - Chat, Rant, or pull up a chair here!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Please come along, draw up a stool, and have a good chat about whatever you fancy - as serious or as trivial as you like.

For starters, I have a half-pint of lemonade. What can I get anyone?

Good afternoon, all .

Today, I've had: one proprosal of marriage - from DS4(3.7)
one 'fecking bitch' from a passing high school boy when DS3(5) holding my hand and both of us coming around a blind corner almost collided with him . He swore at me after I'd said "Oh, sorry" - weirdo. Why are some people so prepared to be on the attack at the least provocation?? He may have been able to hear DS3's incessant chatter had he not worn his ear phones...
too much chocolate .

shrinking, I agree with LRD, being aware of the pitfalls surely is half the battle. I hope anyway...

Can we have some KD Lang on the jukebox too please? I find her voice v soothing...

I tell you, this pub is a much-needed refuge. There is a distinct ratty trend on Mumsnet at the moment.

I'm bagging the seat by the fire, ordering a whisky mac, sticking my feet on a footstool and pulling out my needlepoint. Aaaaahh.

I wish there was a real feminist... anything nearby here in the sticks.

Is there not a City near to you Pacific?

And that high school boy sounds vile.

Afternoon, grennie. I know what you mean - ah well.

pacific - er, congratulations? Bless your DS, that's very sweet. We can most certainly celebrate with KD Lang. And we are your real feminists. Well, ish. Some of us. Erm ...

Odd about the swearing. I was on the bus and a bloke was talking very loudly with 'fucking cretin', 'fucking moron', and what bothered me was, though I could obviously (and did) give him dirty looks, I didn't feel as if I knew how to say anything, which I would on MN. I felt a bit useless, really.

eldritch - whisky mac coming up. I don't think I know what a whisky mac is, but it sounds very glam.

Yes it is much easier on the internet than face to face. For a start, you are not going to get thumped.

The cadet thread is doing my head in. They make it sound like being in the army is like working for a charity.

I am ok, thank you for asking. I just feel that I am becoming more and more aware and it is colouring everything I think and do and hear and see and and and....

I am also looking back and realising some pretty uncomfortable stuff about my teenage years and early twenties and how I tried so hard to slot in to a hole that was never going to fit me and how damaging it was.

DD and DS1 are both pretty good at questioning stuff now but there are kids at their school who are so....sexist. Although I have just had a lovely chat with a grandpa at school while waiting to pick up my DD and his DGD from netball club. He was saying how lovely it was to see boys in the netball team and I was telling him about DD's rugby playing.

Glad you are ok, nora. Sounds really tough. I know I've had something of those experiences and I think others have too, from what I've read on here.

It is so depressing. But then, as you say - that's lovely with the grandpa. So it does change.

grennie - not seen that ... difficult. I never know how to get my mind around the military and sexism.

Whiskey and ginger wine for a whiskey mac. Yum!

Yes it is tough when you look back and realise stuff that you accepted in the past, or just weren't aware of, that now you would be kicking up a fuss about. I know for example as a teenager and in my very early twenties, I just accepted that men would look at porn. I didn't like it, but didn't feel I could object.

It has changed enormously but the attitudes of the children in the playground seem much more polarised than when I was at school. There are girls like DD who are passionate about equality and there are girls whose self worth seems based on how they look and how many boys like them. Almost aggressivley anti feminist in some cases. These are 9 year olds ffs.

I have never been that interested in clothes and makeup but always felt I should be and that there was something wrong with me.

I have never been interested in clothes or make up either, and described myself as a feminist as teenager. But what that actually means, is usually pretty liberal.

I wonder where they get the aggressive anti feminism from at that age. Their parents?

The military thread is in chat. Join the army if you want, but don't make it sound as if it is all about building schools and playing football with the local kids ffs.

I am kinda doing dinner and getting older boys off to their activity, but just in brief: that cadet thread, grrrr. I lurked v briefly, then backed off before I got sucked in. Life's too short.

Oh, yes, I am near a big city, but I seem to either be working or looking after DCs... .

Probably sensible Pacific. I am ill, so pretty confined to bed and sofa. DP is doing nearly everything. Hence my many comments on MN. But yes that thread was grrr

It must be from home/media. I'm pretty certain it's not the school - awesome kickass headmistress who has no tolerance for sexism. There are definitely girls in DD's year who tell her she won't be attractive to boys if she plays rugby. Not in those words but that's what they mean.

Probably from the parents. I have met parents who would say that kind of stuff. And the media reinforce it I guess as well. Glad to hear she has a great headmistress though.

I'm In bed snotting everywhere with all three DC watching a film. not terribly relaxing but DH is at a work for another few hours.

We watched Hoodwinked the other day. Rather liked it for the good female characters. Granny is amazing.

Are you feeling any better Grennie?

Getting slowly better, but still feeling pretty lousy. What film are you watching?

LRD - sit by the bar. Bar staff hate the miserable old men who think it is 'their' place. I used to deliberately sit in those seats just for the fun of making them ask me to move. And then feign confusion about how it was a pub, not their sitting room so I didn't quite get how it was their chair.

Hey everyone, tell me this pub does hot chocolate with all the extras! I desperately need something as a treat, it's been a tough day. First time DS has been properly ill (I'm not counting the lactose intolerance) and he just wants me and only me. Should be flattering, but I'm knackered.

Despicable Me 2. Vaguely entertaining but I am feeling pants so not really watching.

Hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and a little shot of brandy?

Oh hell yes

I am now debating sending DD downstairs to make hot choc. I made some blackberry liqueur the other week. Very cheering and warming. But sadly all gone.