The Feminist Pub is Open - Chat, Rant, or pull up a chair here!

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

This thread started when we all decided to imagine what the perfect local for feminists would be like. So far, it has taps with plenty of good real ale, and some decent non-alcoholic alternatives too. There are comfy chairs and there's a feminist film night, as well as lots of nice feminist-friendly books on the shelves and space to curl up and read. The open-mic nights are attracting feminist singers and comedians, and we're just sorting out the feminist creche.

Please come along, draw up a stool, and have a good chat about whatever you fancy - as serious or as trivial as you like.

For starters, I have a half-pint of lemonade. What can I get anyone?

Really, nora?! I never knew that. I will try it.

Love your strategy.

murder, sorry your DS is ill. Enough time to be flattered in retrospect when he's better, right? Hope he's well soon.

Can I boast? It's dead boring for anyone except me, but for me it's big. You see I've been trying to get a project up and running that's about explaining the history of gender stereotypes. And my supervisor really didn't go for it, but I've got a decent response from people I don't know. I'm feeling so grateful to the big feminist community, because I'd never have done it if I'd not been on here.

Well done you. I am always in awe of people who can DO stuff.

Well done LRD! That's not boring, it's really cool

Thanks both!

I'm not sure I am 'doing' stuff at all - it's too early to know - but it is lovely to feel that there really are people out there who care about feminism. MN was the first big community of like-minded feminists I knew.

I really wish there was simply no need to care about feminism.

I think (maybe like a lot of women of my age group) I identified with feminism in my late teens/early 20s, then felt I 'had it all' so no need for further activism. But now, the older I get, the more angry I am. This cannae be good for me... it has been great mainly lurking on the fem boards on here, mainly because there is really something for everybody IYKWIM. I am shockingly badly read on the whole subject - and still shy away from seeking fem lit out, because I fear it may make lose all anger management skill I've got and make me combust!
TBH reading The Politics of BFing almost finished me off... . I am a feminist light-weight, I fear.

Hope all ill people feel better soon .

Is Despicable Me 2 no good then? I was hoping to get it for Christmas. For the DCs, natch

Oh, LRD, ment to say, well done: well done for doing your project and for seeing it to fruition.

It's good but I am not!

D Me 2 is good.

Well done LRD!

Oh glad to hear that. That it's good, not that you are not.

Good lord, I am by myself.

Well done lrd. And the politics of breastfeeding is a great, but depressing book.

Well done LRD, that is excellent!

Oh, gosh, I feel like a huge fraud.

All that happened was my supervisor told me I must make sure my new project was actually getting in touch with people outside universities. So I started blogging to try to say, look, women have been putting up with this shit for centuries. But it is still very dull, and very small, and while I would love it if it were something to congratulate, it's not. What it is, is a nice sign to continue, so that's what I need to focus on: keeping on trying.

grennie - thank you, I will check it out.

Oh, god, I was so cringe-makingly "anti-feminist" as a teenager. Used to go around spouting "I'm not a feminist, I'm an equalist!"

It was probably because one of my best friends at the time had a hugely toxic mum and, hence, hated all women. I didn't notice this at the time either

I keep posting this in places but there was a great MN blog recently about having a conversation with pre-teens before they see porn, and it was put really nicely and simply and I thought it was great. I'll see if I can find it because I've been on various computers since reading it so the link's probably gone.

Despicable Me 2 is good and only has one moment of feminist rage, with the whole "Dad is overprotective of teenage daughter who has started to notice boys" trope. Aside from that (which is brief anyway) it's fab.

Pacific if you haven't read The Equality Illusion that's a really great one which touches on lots of issues, is "lightweight" in that it's accessible, but will give you the rage... similar to POB in that regard I think.

I like POB. It actually made me much less anti-formula as well. Really opened my eyes to the way choice is undermined.

LRD do not do that thing of talking yourself down. Far too common amongst women. Rare in men I find. You did something good, we said well done. Your only response is "thank you". If you want to caveat you can say something like "it's early stages" but that's all I'm giving you.

I was the kind of feminist who wanted equal pay, but thought women only space was wierd. But I think things have got worse and that has made many of us think again about feminism.

Penguin, well done for picking LRD up on that - let's just hope that as the landlord of this pub she'll not boot you out .
But I agree: we do have a tendency to put our own achievements down - men tend to blow them out of all proportion.

There is a lot to learn from menfolk, I fear .

I was absolutely horrified how far back the history of FF goes and how pernicious the whole process of making FF appear 'superior' was. And still is.

I am not sure where I stand on Women Only spaces - it's not that I'd object to them or see that there is a need in certain circumstances, but I'd rather address the circumstances if that makes any sense??

Top of my Feminism Wish List is for society and individuals to find a way to make childrearing an experience that impacts mothers' and fathers' lives equally. And ideally in an enriching way. Rather than mum's life being changed beyond recognition and dad's pretty much unchanged with the simple addition of offspring.

Berstie, I'd be v interested in that blog if you can find it, ta.

I am on fennel tea again tonight - better than DH's Lemsip

Oh no, don't bar me LRD. I can play nicely, I promise.

I actually think that there is quite a feminist issue here. In my first self-appraisal as a new graduate, I wrote my statement in 'feminine appraisal speak'. You know "I think I am quite good at" and "I am not so strong in". My female boss handed it back to me and said I had to re-write it. She said she understood what I'd written, but this would stay on my file and any man in the firm (which was all the most powerful and most of the rest of the partners) would take one look and write me off as timid, under-confident or possibly take it at a more face value and think I simply wasn't very good. At the time I was mortified, but it was good advice and it has served me well since.

I loved the Politics of Breastfeeding too.

The formula thing is the whole taking away women's power thing again. Women can do something perfectly well, men decide to come in and "improve on it" and in the process, fuck everything up.

And it's sold as a feminist invention :( More options, more choice, informed choice especially is always good. It should never have been pushed though. That's the part that makes it unfeminist.

Am still looking for blog link - got distracted!

My first appraisal after my return from mat leave (after I had had preemie DS2 exactly 12 months after DS1) I wrote in 'Other Achievements/Strengths': Still Standing.

I am still quite proud of that (not the fact that I was still standing, but that I actually wrote it down)

'So I started blogging to try to say, look, women have been putting up with this shit for centuries. But it is still very dull'

I cannot BELIEVE you said that - dull?!!!!!!! Your blog is fabulous and it is certainly not dull, and all the page views would back me up.
I think sometimes someone starts a blog and it kind of hits a spot and yours is doing that.

My aunt was born in 1943 and had a wet nurse - I think that's remarkable. My mother was born 2 years earlier and was FF - I am not sure why the difference and my gran is now waaaaay too demented to ask her. I wonder whether FF/clean water just was not as available in the later war years?? No idea why my gran would not BF herself - I know she had a v traumatic, obstructed labour and delivery with my mum in the airraid shelter of the hospital while bombs fell - I suppose that would be enough to traumatise the strongest of people

Oh, linkie to LRD's blog? Please?

Aha - had to search my own posts to find it! I'm going to bookmark it now. mymumdom.com/talk-child-porn/

(That's a very unfortunate truncation...)

Also YY LRD your blog is fantastic, I find it really informative and entertaining. Not dull at all.

My link is for the "talking to your kids about porn" not LRD just to clarify!

To me it’s ironic that women have been complaining about the damage that porn has been doing for years, with very little result. But now it’s the boys who are being damaged, and a man has fronted a TV program showing how badly porn can affect them, and all hell breaks loose. Suddenly everyone is up in arms about something that has been going on for years.

This.