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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Southern Electric - great to do business with as long as you have your husband's permission

49 replies

TCOB · 18/09/2013 10:50

Totally raging so at great risk of being incoherent but will do my best...just had a conversation with Southern Electric in which, despite being the only person who has ever had dealings with them, despite them never having had contact with my DH EVER, they have defaulted by account into the name Mr TCOB and will not speak to me without my husband's permission. I am furious. Furious. And I know this is standard practice. But I am still left knowing that in 2013 I have to get my husband's permission before I am spoken to, NOT because he is the account holder (which I would totally understand) but because by mistake or default they have conveyed power to him because he is a man. He's baffled and appalled too. I know this is not earth-shattering but it is insidious and has infuriated me.

OP posts:

filee777 · 18/09/2013 10:50

Idiots! Complain

filee777 · 18/09/2013 10:51

Or pretend you have a lesbian wife and though married there is no 'mr' that'll teach them!

Original poster

TCOB · 18/09/2013 11:00

filee77 Would have been a far cooler retort than the incoherent rage I spouted. I'm busy on the complaint front now and DH is well and truly on board.

OP posts:

kim147 · 18/09/2013 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Poledra · 18/09/2013 11:12

Let Everydaysexism know - they might Tweet it...

SunshineSuperNova · 18/09/2013 11:17

I have a joint account with DH and the bank called yesterday to speak with him about changing our account. FFS.

And don't get me started with British Gas and how they treated me...

It's not uncommon, sadly.

ChunkyPickle · 18/09/2013 11:27

I just queried my mortgage provider to check my interest rate, and the reply came back to Mr Pickle.

The mortgage is in my name only, the related accounts are in my name only, there is no Mr Pickle (well, except my Dad and brother who don't live with me)

We trust these people with our important, confidential, financial information, and they can't get our gender correct. It's not just misogyny, it's incompetence (and yes, I'm moving mortgage provider asap)

flatmum · 18/09/2013 11:30

this makes me furious and I will not hold an account with anyone who does this.

flatmum · 18/09/2013 11:40

this makes me furious and I will not hold an account with anyone who does this.

Original poster

TCOB · 18/09/2013 12:08

Poledra - great idea - will do.

Thank you for the responses. The mortgage one is breathtaking, chunky - yes, these are only relatively 'small' things but they are indicators of some kind of contempt.

OP posts:

MonkeyGoneToHeaven · 19/09/2013 18:39

Sky told me that my husband would be very angry with me if I cancelled Sky Sports. I cancelled the whole package. Wankers!

veryconfusedatthemoment · 19/09/2013 18:57

I had this earlier in the year with many utility companies. My ex husband and I were often joint names on accounts as Mr Smith and Ms Very. there is not always enough room for both names, but payment at the time was from a joint account. When ex left I had to transfer accounts over to sole names or in 1 case I changed the bank account from which DD payments were made. . many insisted on getting ex to agree and most took the opportunity to rack up the monthly DD. I have advised all of them that as a direct consequence of their behaviour towards me and the lack of support provided I WILL be changing to alternative suppliers. I will be unable to recommend as well. I was apoplectic with rage.

Original poster

TCOB · 19/09/2013 19:02

very and monkey I'm discovering this is pretty standard and I am raging about it now. Awaiting SE's response and if they mention data protection I think I will explode...

OP posts:

MikeLitoris · 19/09/2013 19:12

Was the account always in your name or his?

And of course they will quote dpa. If your not named on account they cannot discuss the account without the account holder, if they are male or female is irrelevant.

MikeLitoris · 19/09/2013 19:23

Is the account in Mr first name surname or Mr surname?

Tbh it sounds like a mistake. Pain in the Arse but just a mistake.

Original poster

TCOB · 19/09/2013 19:30

The account is not in Mr TCOB's name, nor ever has been. If he was the account holder I would fully understand. All contact has been with me, and as far as SE are concerned he might not exist.

OP posts:

BasilBabyEater · 19/09/2013 20:51

"Interesting" posting name MikeLitoris.

PersonalClown · 19/09/2013 20:58

I see the fuckwits are still at it then.

They tried this with me a few years ago. DP had a debt with them at his old house. He was moving in with me and was trying to settle the rather large final bill.
They told him that they would put in a pre payment meter and take the debt that way. He told them they can't as the account and house was in my name.
They told him to 'be a man and put me in my place. He was Man of the House now!'

I took the phone and told them that they could fuck right off if they were getting my energy account and cancelled my switch back to EDF.
They rang a few days later to ask why I wasn't changing and when I told them, they said I was 'probably a man hating feminist who deserved to be alone'!!!

MeteorShower · 19/09/2013 21:19

I used to live in a shared house and because nobody wanted the bills to be in their name, we gave the all utility companies a made up name. It was in fact the stupid poncey unnecessary and completely unrelated to reality house name, which was a feminine sounding one along the lines of Rose Cottage so we gave it the prefix of Ms.

Yet whenever they rang to sell us anything they would ask for Mr Cottage

MikeLitoris · 19/09/2013 21:20

Care to expand on your issues with my name basil?

BasilBabyEater · 19/09/2013 21:21

No Mike I don't care to.

heidihole · 19/09/2013 21:26

basil maybe you should move to netmums it's better for sensitive adults/children as they are more regulated and don't have free choice in usernames.

BasilBabyEater · 19/09/2013 21:26

No thanks, I like it here.

Lovecat · 20/09/2013 09:19

British Gas did this to me. DH was an impoverished student with no credit rating at all when we moved in together whereas I'd been paying my own way for the previous 4 years, so we just transferred the existing account in my name to our new joint address (I think they wanted to charge to change it, back in 1990).

Ffwd 7 years, DH decided to do a go compare thing and wanted to switch operators. He rang them up and BG told him (quite rightly) that they couldn't speak to him as the account was in my name. He said 'but I'm her husband' - and on just this (he could have been any random for all they knew), they changed all the details to HIS name and offered him a much lower rate, which he accepted, so we were f-ing well locked in for 5 years to a contract coming out of MY bank account in HIS name - and they refused to speak to ME about it because it was now in his name - I asked them how the fuck (or words to that effect) they could justify this when I was a customer of 11 years' standing and to change it back forthwith, they said they'd need HIS permission to do that! I asked where was MY permission when they'd changed it to his and they said that was ok because we were married (I nearly had an embolism at this point) - I pointed out how the bleeding hell did they know that without sight of a marriage certificate and did, in the end, get an apology and get it changed back. Bastards.

I've also been told that it's illegal for me to refer to myself as Ms when I'm married, by some eejit in a TV rental shop (now that is dating myself)...

littleomar · 20/09/2013 09:30

I have had many, many dealings with SSE over the last year. They were completely, utterly incompetent, which is why it took a year to actually get the account properly set up.

but

despite all the problems, everyone I spoke to was unfailingly nice and I never had this problem (account in my name, which isn't the same as husband's name, and payments coming out of joint account).

just sayin.

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