Men, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

[curlew]

Fantastic article by Laurie Penny

Dreaming. He just doesn't. His job is to help the "minorities" as part of he diversity committee. He sees it as a women's issue. And he is not BAD generally. He cleans, cooks, does child care. It horrifies me that when he switches to his professional capacity, he becomes so sexist. And the more aware I am the more I notice him doing it to me.

Buffy that would be lovely

I'm actually working on a pet theory that drunk people are naturally constructivist

(Sorry, I seem to be setting some kind of epic record for derailing on this thread...)

The obstacle is the patriarchy

It's the same obstacle that stops the men I know who say "oh it's so cool that your DH and you both work part time" from following through with anything other than an "um, yeah" when I point out that flexible working is a parental right not a maternal one so they could do it too...

Portofino I'm sorry, that sounds rotten

Does he think he's part of the solution then, because ostensibly he's helping women?

What do you think it would take to change his mindset? I'm sorry, you don't have to answer, just wondering what your take on this whole issue is given your situation.

Buffy I'm sure we could get ESRC to fund it, those lushes

porto this is typical of my experience of workplace iniatives. They are generally about how women can adapt themselves to the workplace. Any suggestion that men may need to change the way they work so that childcare is not solely a woman's issue is met either with a blank look or mumblings about special treatment.

Dreaming, but the point I made to him is, he can't help women until he understands what the problem is. Flora - quite right. Men see children as the woman's problem. Still. My employer is very good at family friendly ironically. It means Dh and his diversity committee get away with changing nothing.

Yes it is all about how women with children adapt to the workplace. As opposed to now men with children adapt to the workplace, or how people with other caring responsibilities adapt. I was chatting to a work colleague today whose wife is having an op on her spine tomorrow. She needs to lay flat in bed for 6 weeks. He is fretting as to how he is going to cope. Everyone, not just women/mothers have times when a bit of flexibility is needed.

Portofino, Iceland is the most advanced nation on earth in dealing with parental leave. 3 months leave for the mother, 3 months for the father and 3 months for either the father or the mother at their option. The mother cannot take a portion of the fathers leave or visa versa. Its not the quantity of time at all its the breakdown. Allowing fathers to take at least one third of the time from work and up to two thirds, making some time available only to them, it forces men to think about the issue and, once entrenched, it changes culture so that your husbands style of thinking evaporates.