Blatant misogyny overheard

[Rache101]

I overheard someone today saying that a woman who wears provocative clothing is 'asking to be raped' and that rapists are misunderstood. My brother also said that a woman's main priority should be the kitchen. Is it me or do these views just piss you off to the upmost? It is like people just say these things without understanding the seriousness of the situation or is it just astounding ignorance on their behalf?

Does overseen count?

I was working a festival with a bloke wearing a t short emblazoned with "I swear officer she was awake"

I was on the bus years ago, it was boiling hot and I was wearing shorts and t.

I heard the two middle aged, fat sweaty blokes across the aisle from me discussing my hairy legs in disgust.
I can't remember exactly what I said to them now but it was along the lines of I'm not just here to look pretty for you sexy oafs you know

If I didn't laugh I would cry. DP went for a few drinks with his friends tonight, neighbour asked where he was, so I said. The reply? "Oh, I bet you'll be cooking a nice dinner for him when he gets in."

Like hell. I've already eaten, if he's hungry he knows where the kitchen is!

"rapists are misunderstood"...I literally don't even know where to start with that. What the hell did their parents teach them?! Sadly, the view that a woman should watch what she wears in case a misunderstood man can't take it and has to have sex with her is not a minority view. Don't go out late at night, don't wear a short skirt, don't get your breasts out...it's never ending and it's everywhere. I'd like those people to go and sit in rape victims' support groups and then suggest to them they deserved it...ignorant twats. (trying not to get myself worked up here, but arghhhh!!)

Actually he's right about the bit that rapists are misunderstood.

Most of us believe rapists are monsters in dark alleys with balaclavas and knives when actually, they're our friends, co-workers, boyfriends and casual acquaintances, usually acknowledged as a "nice guy" who would "never do that".

And most of us also believe that they can't manage to control themselves around women which is why they rape us. When of course it's the opposite -rape is an exercise in control and power over the person who is being raped, not a loss of control.

I'd avoid being alone with that bloke Rache101. A man who expresses views like that, usually does so for a reason - because he has the same attitudes to women as that of a rapist and he has a vested interest in blaming women, not men, for rape. What would that vested interest be? Usually that he's either raped before or he's leaving the door open to that possibility - he hasn't ruled it out as unthinkable, the way normal decent men do. And if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, it often turns out to be one and you don't want to be the one to find out.

It's also total man-hating to imagine that all that needs to happen for a man to turn into a rapist, is for a woman to wear "provocative" clothing.

I am continually astonished that more men are not utterly, profoundly insulted by this - the assumption behind it, is that all men are rapists. People who believe that women shouldn't wear sexy clothing because men might rape them, basically believe that all men are rapists. When those people are men, I tend to assume that they too rapists, because men who aren't, don't assume that all other men are.

I overheard three men laughing about some poor women that they'd love to fuck. One said he wanted to fuck her and wanted her to see his "cumface", and another followed that one with the chucklesome phrase "I'd fuck her so hard. really hope she cries, that would be amazing!" That's a red flag right there.

It was vile, and they had no real shame is blaring this out at a family event with lots of children running round. They even had a little girl tagging on behind them

tbh I don't think it is harsh. I have come to believe that if men express sentiments which make them indistinguishable from a rapist, they cannot then complain if women come down on the side of caution and make the decision to assume they are one.

We don't know beforehand, which men are rapists and which ones aren't, because they don't tell us. When we get raped, people say "well what did she expect, inviting him in for coffee/ flirting with him earlier on in the evening/ going out to dinner with him/ insert normal activity here - what did she think he wanted?" (Presumably she should have assumed he wanted to rape her and is hopelessly naieve for not doing so.) So if we then assume that men want to rape us when they express rapey opinions, I don't see why that would be considered unreasonable.

Except of course, it is, because if we don't anticipate men being rapists, we're hopelessly naieve or liars and we enjoyed it really but for some reason best known to ourselves, have decided to destroy this bloke's life for a larf, and if we do we're man-hating loons who think "all men are rapists".

The joy of misogyny.

Senior local politician in position of power "everything (DVD and sexual violence) was fine until this women's lubbers started up" wtf

DV - not DVD - that would be silly!