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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Fucking hell, Nigella picture, WTF? [includes links to upsetting images]

522 replies

BoffinMum · 15/06/2013 22:51

twitter.com/suttonnick/status/346017840106704898/photo/1

Tomorrow's Sunday People cover. Where do we even start with this?

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ProphetOfDoom · 18/06/2013 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AprilFoolishness · 18/06/2013 12:59

I haven't seen the Standard for years Poppy.

Just l looked online and OHMYFUCKINGGOD

'hanging over ALL of us' ?!?!?!

Words completley fail me.

PoppyAmex · 18/06/2013 13:02

April, how nasty is that?

I had written to the Evening Standard two days ago asking if they were going to cease listing him as a columnist. No answer, unsurprisingly.

MadBusLady · 18/06/2013 13:06

I call complete bullshit on this. Unless and until she makes a supporting statement, I am going to assume he is just like any other abuser - desperately denying, minimising and bullshitting in whatever way it takes to maintain his self-image.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/06/2013 13:10

Spot on, MadBusLady.

fubbsy · 18/06/2013 13:14

He accepted a caution because he did not want it to go to court. It's obviously a tactical decision.

Chubfuddler · 18/06/2013 13:16

She has permitted her publicist to confirm she and the children have left the family home. She has said nothing to back up his claims. I think the position is probably pretty clear.

I hope she is divorce lawyer shopping as I type.

Rolf · 18/06/2013 13:22

AprilFoolishness great post. It's really interesting isn't it?
Good apology from Greenslade.
I think Nigella's silence is the smartest and most eloquent strategy she could go for. I hope it is strategic, and not stemming from a position of foetal duvet-hugging paralysis.

fubbsy · 18/06/2013 13:32

I think it is strategic Rolf. However she may feel, Nigella must have advice from her publicists, PRs and so forth.

MarshaBrady · 18/06/2013 13:36

I dearly hope she has left him. There's no 'we' are doing this if she has left.

nauticant · 18/06/2013 13:46

Good contributions by MadBusLady and AprilFoolishness on this thread.

Saatchi will be looking to get Lawson publicly back on side over this, otherwise it's complete defeat, and so his tactics appear to be to present a "a bit of bother but things will be back to normal soon" story. This gives Lawson the "easy" option of going along with it or the difficult and unpleasant one of being forced to go on the offence.

BoffinMum · 18/06/2013 16:38

Bico I used to teach the offspring of those families and there was at least one situation where a peer of the realm beat the fuck out of his wife and children, another where a parent smashed his sons in the face in the Bentley in front of another kid who was on a play date, and another where a QC verbally humiliated his wife and children in front of the teachers.

Disgusting.

FWIW I think Saatchi is a total smuck and he must think we are idiots if he is passing that off as a tiff. Except of course he does think the little people are idiots.

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BoffinMum · 18/06/2013 16:47

I was battered about by a (then) fairly high profile media figure in my former life, and left. I am tempted to out myself, but then again not sure.

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TheRealMBJ · 18/06/2013 17:02

Boffin you should do what ever protects you and helps protect others. That may or may not be going public. But first and foremost, look after yourself

EmmelineGoulden · 18/06/2013 17:04

Very sad to hear the Met buckled and cautioned him. Leaves Nigella in a very vulnerable position.

Guidelines for the justice system on domestic violence said that cautions are rarely appropriate for good reason.

BoffinMum · 18/06/2013 17:05

Probably shouldn't then. Wise advice.

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TheRealMBJ · 18/06/2013 17:06

You can help other victims/survivors of DV in other ways perhaps?

nauticant · 18/06/2013 17:41

If they do divorce, I wonder who'll get this painting as part of the settlement:

www.saatchionline.com/art/Unknown-The-wife-beater/70423/543742/view

nauticant · 18/06/2013 17:42

Hmmm, I'll try this:

www.saatchionline.com/art/Unknown-The-wife-beater/70423/543742/view

scallopsrgreat · 18/06/2013 17:43

Boffin I wouldn't (although I can understand why you want to). We believe you.

I have a theory in progress that there is a correlation between men in high positions and DV. The sense of entitlement acquired and the selfishness required to get to the top of your profession are the same qualities found in abusive partners.

MadBusLady · 18/06/2013 17:46

Baha, good spot nauticant!

scallopsrgreat · 18/06/2013 17:53

Ha very appropriate nauticant!

Smudging · 18/06/2013 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoffinMum · 18/06/2013 19:40

Scallops, I think many of them are total narcissists, seriously. They think they are different and special and the rest of us are fundamentally flawed.

In fact I used to get little lists left around the house for me of all the things I just needed to do 'to improve'. I was kicked in the stomach for inadvertently interrupting him on the phone once, for example, because it was an 'important work call' and once dragged across DD's bedroom with my arm behind my back because I had attached a lock to the door of our ensuite loo, as I was fed up of the housekeeper walking in on me (no privacy was ever allowed for me). I was shut up at dinner parties and told what a fool I had made of myself after we got home, This is how upmarket thugs operate in the home. Betcha any money NL is getting doses of this and it's being passed off as marital quarrelling because she can be 'difficult' and 'moody'. I bet she even believes this herself.

Then there is my friend, who lived next door to another friend and happened to share a make of baby alarm. Those houses cost a couple of mill. They heard her top lawyer DH over the baby alarm sometimes ranting aggressively at his wife. He never actually hit her, to their knowledge. But the verbal abuse was terrible. She had given her own career up to breed on demand for him as well. Nothing we could do, believe me.

It's really, really dark stuff.

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practicality · 18/06/2013 19:50

Boffin- that is absolutely dreadful. I don't know if it would be wise for you to out this creature due to legal repercussions. Was any of the violence documented? I understand the need/urge to though.

Although I know Nigella is not at fault in the slightest I know I will judge if she goes back to him because as anyone knows who has lived with an abuser- it never stops.

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