Small things that make you angry and you feel you can't mention elsewhere

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

I was thinking that maybe we need one of those threads that reminds us we all have much more in common with each other, than any of us does with the misogynistic bigots.

I don't know what the feministy equivalent of 'first world problem' is, but I bet there are loads of things you've been itching to point out annoy you, but don't start an AIBU about, or don't moan to your colleague/DH/mates about because it feels insignificant.

Maybe we can all have a good moan here - and maybe back each other up that these things typically aren't so small and insignificant really!

I will go first. I noticed the other day how, when I'm walking down a pavement, I automatically move to the side out of the way of busy men striding along with briefcases. Even when I'm busy. Why do I do that? And how come I feel rude - and do get funny looks - when I don't do that?

Am I the only one who read that link and thought what a load of tosh ?

The only thing missing was the tagline that feminism is about choice.

He's not going is he Portofino? Your thing was in the diary first! Or else he organises a babysitter (this is not necessarily how things work in our house, it's just how it should work!).

And yes to the swearing at work thing! It happens a lot less now, perhaps because I'm wrinkly and have a couple of children so people assume I've used a few swear words in my time, but when I was younger I used to get that a lot - men apologising to me for swearing. Fuck off mate!

Email from colleague:
Hi Girls.
and

blis, it's satire.

porto, that is fucking rude of him. He should know what to say.

I am keying myself up for my mother tomorrow, who is going to go with plenty of these. She will inevitably start out by asking me if my husband 'minds' that my hair is short, and will tell me (as if it's totally non-subjective) that it looks 'better long'.

She would not dream of telling DH his hair looks daft long or asking me if I 'mind' he has a beard.

Well work normally trumps social in our house and we are flexible. I could get a babysitter. But normally on a brownie night I leave work early - 4pm, collect her from school at 4.45 - and drop her off for 5pm. Dh leaves work normal time ie 6pm and collects her at 6.30. I get home 5.30 and work to make up the time. I planned to have dinner ready for her and go out at 7. Now I would not get home til then....as it is not worth me driving home if I have to wait to collect dd. grr.

Porto

A colleague refered to me and his boss as 'girls' today. To a potential CLIENT.

The worst of it was i didn't say anything. Because i didn't want to make a fuss.

I had big meetings with Microsoft recently and was heartened that the women in the room outnumbered the blokes for once. I love the world of IT

my 4 yr old firmly states he has no eyelashes because he is a boy
He has noticed the classic cartoon convention
that only female characters, anthropomorphic animals and animate cars have eyelashes

Porto DH does IT and generally comments women are very thin on the ground.

Yes - generally very poor. I have noticed though that where we high off- shore contractors ie India, 50% of them are women. I would like to know what India is doing with regards to education that Europe isn't.

Hire vs high. So why is India providing all these female software developers?

Also all of you who feel you have to qualify your comments with "we both work FT" annoy me.

It doesn't matter a Fuck if you work full or he works full time, are SAHPs, work part time, are out of work or anything else.

It takes two people to make a child, they should both do a share of care and taxi driving.

It's just as disrespectful to mess up a SAHMs evening out because you can't be bothered to remember your DDs ballet class as it is if she works!

I'm bloody fed up of 'feminists' who think the only right thing for a women to do is stuff her DCs in child care to be looked after by poor sods on the minimum wage.

So much for choice!

99.9% of badly paid child care workers being other, often younger women.

Sorry. It was me that said that. It was meant to explain MY circumstances not to have a pop at others. I consider your posts to be more judgemental as some women NEED o work. As I did.

Being the main wage earner and all that unmotherly shit.

I'm more bemused at blaming feminism for nursery use.funnee
I've used nursery from 6mth old I'm more than happy to slam the kids in
too young to articulate the ignoring and ill treatment received from the nmw staff

Start ail, but it is not a real choice. Women have used child care since the year dot. Family, fiends, baby minders, whet nurses etc. working class women ALWAYS worked. This stay home and do quality time is a NEW thing. Society never died out meantimes.

When we moved abroad all the shipping admin was done by me, my name was on the paperwork etc. When we went to do the collection at this end the port authorities addressed only my husband. He had to keep referring to me but they just didn't get it, they just kept on saying Mr Snooky blah blah.

Also our car, a monster 4x4 is mine. My name on all the docs. Husband does not have a car as he drives a bus for work and brings it home. It's not hard to drive or park imo and I love it but lots of people, male and female have said it is too big for me, pppppffft. And I always drive, it's my car.
Also there is a dent in it where he reversed it into a tree!

The best driver I know is my Mum.

Your dh bringz a bus home?! Going to look out for the "neighbour parking" aibus :o

Bring a bus home.

Dressing up days at school with binary gendered choices - "come as a knight or a princess" "come as a pirate or a mermaid".
I hate this because it makes a big issue about dividing the class by gender - awful for gender variant children and for children for whom gender isn't a big deal (my DS is like this), it's like school is telling them "oh but it is, these things matter very much, now which side are you on?".
And also because it's teaching the girls to be ornamental and the boys to be swashbuckling, or whatever, and setting the idea of a bold girl or a beautifully dressed boy up as transgressive. It saddens me...

At what age do you have to be before being called "young lady" is just bloody patronising? I'm 32 not 9. Probably being picky aren't I.

also, being made to feel like you are being deliberately awkward for saying, "No, it's Ms" (and then being told by some twit at the bank that you can't use Miss if you are divorced and you have to use Ms)