Small things that make you angry and you feel you can't mention elsewhere

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

I was thinking that maybe we need one of those threads that reminds us we all have much more in common with each other, than any of us does with the misogynistic bigots.

I don't know what the feministy equivalent of 'first world problem' is, but I bet there are loads of things you've been itching to point out annoy you, but don't start an AIBU about, or don't moan to your colleague/DH/mates about because it feels insignificant.

Maybe we can all have a good moan here - and maybe back each other up that these things typically aren't so small and insignificant really!

I will go first. I noticed the other day how, when I'm walking down a pavement, I automatically move to the side out of the way of busy men striding along with briefcases. Even when I'm busy. Why do I do that? And how come I feel rude - and do get funny looks - when I don't do that?

YoungBritish I took dd1 to work with me for a day a few years ago. School was closed when I arrived to drop her off (snow) so I rang my school to ask if they wanted me there with dd1 in tow, or not there because I had no childcare (I know her father should have equal responsibility about childcare but he has never met her, denying any responsibility from 3 months pg). They decided they wanted me there. Quite a few women have brought their children to work with them in emergencies, I've never seen a man do it at our work though, probably because they all have wives or partners who take care of the children .

I am currently annoyed about the number of comments we have now had about dp dropping down to part time hours in order to spend more time with dd2. Apparently it's very odd for him to do that, but would be perfectly normal if it was me . We're both her parents.

I use lady to talk about one woman, especially when talking to dd2 as people seem to think it's more polite than talking about 'the woman'. We even talk about the ladies at playgroup, because that's how they refer to themselves (although I do try to talk about the grown-ups rather than the ladies)

Smudging - that's made me feel really good.

I've seen some thing that at the school DS1 (4) is starting in September, that made me a bit angry.

They have a display in the hall that they children have lunch in that talks all about what they should be eating, and how lunch boxes should be healthy and contain x, y, z etc healthy thing.

Then at the bottom, above a photograph of a grinning student is a speech bubble which reads "Mums are putting too many sugary and fatty foods in our lunch boxes". I mean WTAF is that all about.

I'm just wondering whether to say something as I really think it's a shitty message to give children - mums are in charge of caring for the children and are to blame for everything and dad's get 'let off the hook'. But will I be labelled as that mother who pointed out that their display was sexist? Arrrggghhhh! I shouldn't care what they think, and it seems such a little thing but I know it should be challenged....

The phrase "career woman" makes me want to weep. Ever heard anyone say "career man"? No. Thought not.

yes,yes to hating career woman.sounds like species or an aberration
usually used in pejorative way to imply husk who's put money before family
career man?no of course not,as it expected men are career minded whereas women it's kids and cats

It is like it is a crime to be talented and successful in a certain vocation and shock horror also be a woman. It makes me cringe every time it is used - often by my DH. He also used to say things like "she drives a nice car. I wonder what her husband does?" ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH
He now just does this to wind me up. So very annoying.

Also relatives asking "Is he good around the house?" Of my 38 year old husband like they are asking about whether a puppy is house trained or not! Just the idea that by him doing housework he is helping me out, rather than just keeping his own living space hygienic makes me scream inside.

I could post on this thread all night - it has ignited a rage in me!!! Ha ha

My DD has had a cold this week which has developed into an ear infection. I took her to the gp and felt dismissed as a neurotic mother. DH took her back the day after as her ear was still oozing gunk (I'd already pointed this out and was virtually ignored). He was taken seriously and her infection was finally diagnosed and she was prescribed antibiotics.

I'm absolutely furious that I was dismissed that way and that it took DH taking her to be taken seriously. I know when my own baby is unwell and I certainly know the difference between just a cold and something that needs a GP attention.

I'll stick to my own GP in future, she's fab.

DD is now on the mend thankfully.

I had that Artemis. When dd2 was just 6 months she had scabies, I took her to the gp and showed her the rash, explaining that the rest of the family were itchy too but dd2 was the worst. The gp had a quick glance, said it was excema and that the rest of us were coming out in sympathy. Dp took her back a few days later and the gp examined dd2 thoroughly and came to the correct diagnosis. Why didn't she examine the baby when I took her in?

Yes to the "is he good around the house?" enquiry - making grown man sound like pet poodle - and the follow up line......."so you have him well trained, then?"

AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

HanShotFirst, please complain about that. What an awful message to be giving children.

I never thought that about "career woman" before.

Depending on whether you can get away with it (e.g. I wouldn't say it to an elderly relative), a fairly good answer to "is he good around the house" is "Oh yes, t took a while but he doesn't pee on the rug or chew the furniture now".

Right, giving me the rage today. We have moved fairly recently. Letter from the Health Visitor wanting to come round and meet us. Addressed to parent/carer. I ring up and make an appointment. They are only worried about meeting me and the DCs. I have said that I have no concerns, so this visit is very much 'check you out and see if there are any issues we want to watch for'. Why is it that I am being examined, but they have no concerns about meeting DH?

HanShotFirst Please complain. That gives me the rage. Stupid ignorant women who have the temerity of becoming mothers and not taking their responsibilities seriously and poisoning their children. I'll give them temerity.

And there is a particular young woman who says I'm LUCKY that DH does the washing up.

Blimey schooldidi, your GP is female and still treated you in that way! I saw a male nurse practictioner and put it down to gender issues.

han, that's really shit.

I can get in with the irritation about 'good around the house'. He's not actually brilliant. He's just not completely bone idle and entitled.

What narks me off the most is that if I go to visit my parents on my own, my mum always tells me to say thanks for them to DH for 'letting' them see me, and she always tells me to go home and 'look after your husband'.

Last I checked he is perfectly capable of looking after himself! I find it a really odd double standard that if he'd been away for a weekend and driven back, she'd think I ought to cook him a nice meal. But if I've been away for the weekend, she thinks I've had a nice break so I ought to cook the meal.

Amanda I think hvs are there to keep an eye out for pnd and also dv, maybe they feel its easier to do with a woman in her own? could be wrong, but I think it possible there's a legitimate answer in your case for wanting to see you on your own

I was going through a bad depression years ago and dh about dragged me in to see a gp and then brought me in to the actual room with the doctor and sat down and the gp (politely) asked him to go.

he wanted to check with me about Dv, he was very good though and dh I both thought it wAs really good he did that

ThirdTime - That may well be true in early visits, but DD2 is 2, so I don't think it's PND that they are looking out for! But also, fine they might want to see you on your own. I see that there are legitimate reasons for that. But if they are looking out for the welfare of the children primarily, shouldn't they be meeting every adult resident in the house - even if one at a time. It is the presumption that if you've seen the mother you're done that bothers me - the one time DH took DD1 to the health visitor clinic they asked to see me too the next time

You only ever hear of a "career woman" but then again, you only ever hear of a "family man".

I went back to work today and the main question people asked who was looking after DC

when I said dh as he is a sahd there was surprise and questions if he would manage

Very true Tei

Thread in chat where a poster doesn't want people to touch her 14 month old dd.

Loads of people teling her children are there to be touched

Where do people think the idea that women are public property comes from?

My daughter is blond, blue eyed petite, giggly smiley 20 month old and I love all the attention she gets because she is gorgeous and looks like an angelic angel

and that comment, christ.