Small things that make you angry and you feel you can't mention elsewhere

[MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik]

I was thinking that maybe we need one of those threads that reminds us we all have much more in common with each other, than any of us does with the misogynistic bigots.

I don't know what the feministy equivalent of 'first world problem' is, but I bet there are loads of things you've been itching to point out annoy you, but don't start an AIBU about, or don't moan to your colleague/DH/mates about because it feels insignificant.

Maybe we can all have a good moan here - and maybe back each other up that these things typically aren't so small and insignificant really!

I will go first. I noticed the other day how, when I'm walking down a pavement, I automatically move to the side out of the way of busy men striding along with briefcases. Even when I'm busy. Why do I do that? And how come I feel rude - and do get funny looks - when I don't do that?

Ah, I probably am OTT. I should shut up, it's bad form thread-about-threading, I was reading into it I guess.

She's very poised though. I like here, though have no particular interest in her research. At the moment, anyway.

Oh, grrr.
That is annoying.

And do mention it - I suppose it's the only way we get it changed, is letting people know it's fucking annoying.

upto - yeah, she is very poised.

Jeez that research thread has turned nasty. She says at the top of the thread exactly who she is and her qualifications, and yet people are practically making out she's doing an A-level project the way they are talking to her (not that you should be rude to someone doing that either).

Quite.

I dunno ... do men get this to the same extent? I can't think they do really. I mean, I've seen a lot of vitriol towards (eg) Simon Baron-Cohen, but rarely the implication he must be some wet-behind-the-ears junior.

From my perspective of, ahem, not knowing what the heck I'm talking about (), I'll nod wisely and say that sounds very true about how people see this kind of research. I'm sure talking to other academics would be different.

Of course people are sometimes going to think a trained specialist in whatever discipline is talking rubbish and they know better. I dunno ... wondering about it.

It wasn't just people being unconvinced by qualitative research, though, was it? It was specifically posters saying "if you want to publish this, you're going to find it hard" and "you need to think about finding a larger sample size", i.e. trying to teach a professor how to conduct research.

I don't mind people not finding the research convincing, but patronising the researcher and telling her she doesn't know how to do research is another thing. Would it happen to a male professor? Not sure.

The new bloody sudocreme advert - for all of life's adventures, with 2 little boys as the main focus.

Because of course little girls don't hae adventures!

It boils my piss!

Right. This one has pissed me off for days and as I've been on residential I haven't had the signal to post it!
The trip I've been on is a residential for Primary kids. Every night the centre puts on free wine and sandwiches for teachers. We all sat and had a drink and chat... Except the men were helping themselves happily to the food while every so often a woman would look really guilty and apologetic and daintily dive in for a tiny sandwich or cracker. And there was ALWAYS a guilty, justifying statement - "I really shouldn't after that dinner" "they just look so tempting" etc. it was interesting to sit and watch.
I know it's not the biggest issue in the world, but why do men feel they can eat as much as they like, while for women, eating seems "naughty" ?

hope it's not too late to join in here, because it's right up my street. Major gripe at the mo is a man who works at the gym i go to. I only started going a few weeks ago to get in shape for summer and every time I see him there, he tells me that my 'figure' is looking better and that I'm doing really well. I find him so patronising and ridiculous, but what annoys me even more is my own behaviour. I'm so conditioned to be polite that I just smile and say thanks rather than telling the creep where to get off! I really annoy myself and fume about him every time I'm at the gym.

It's not too late - I'd say the more the merrier but it's not quite accurate!

That is really creepy!

stuffez - yeah, women and 'naughty' food annoys me too. I am deeply petty, but I was reminded of this bloke who used to refer to his girlfriend's wife as 'a naughty Chardonnay' every bloody time.

stuffez that annoys me too. I always fill my plate and eat as much as I want without batting an eyelid when I'm with others from my school. Then when people make a comment I ask if they are going to make the same comment to greedy male colleague too. I've gained a following of unashamed women eaters, we all sit together

My little gripe today was the complete and utter shock that year 7 had at the revelation that I'm not married (hardly a secret as my name is Miss on their books) and yet I have children (again, not a secret, I talk about my children an lot and most of them have met dd1). This would not have come up for a male teacher as they don't have the same thing of changing names or the Miss/Mrs thing.

Oh the food thing... Years ago when I had an office job I often used to have a pub lunch with my two best mates at work, and we would sit and stuff ourselves merrily with huge fryups. And pints. I remember a random man passing our table and making a snarky remark about dieting, and being furious but unable to think of a good replay.

schooldidi you are not married and you have children! You scarlet woman.

I have also been brought up too well to retort with comments about other people's eating habit ... Especially when I was young and really skinny (nothing to do with me - just the way it was - same weight since 18 till I have children). All those comments! Like it's anyone's business. Luckily all my colleagues and friends now are people who like food and are polite. May have subconsciously dropped the rude ones?

I am an analyst and the other day one of the traders (whose specific market I cover, lets call him trader x) called me from another floor and asked me to call trader y in the US. Bit surprised, but ok, maybe he wants to discuss one of my recommendations. I asked trader x, "is it urgent"? - "yes".

Ok so now I'm freaking out thinking what have I written recently? so anyway I call trader y and say its calling from London what's up? He then starts going on about being stuck somewhere and needing a flight to Denver to meet a client and can I arrange this! I said I don't deal with this, who normally books your flights? He says "you do!" "No I don't," I say, this is from research!

He apologised and said he didn't know what trader x had done but would call him back himself. Turns out trader x had confused me with one of the PAs! We have the same first name but in order to call me on the internal system he would have had to type in my last name. bearing in mind my full name is all over my published research which he clearly does not read .This is someone I work with - not every day but still!

Ooh strikethrough fail! Anyway the whole thing really rattled my confidence

That's a bit shit LeBean. Would you phone up trader x and give him some "advice" for the future?

I must say I make it a point never to make tea for anyone unless it's my own guest. I remember in my early days when someone pointedly said "it would be nice if someone would make tea" and I pointedly glared at her and sat firmly on my bum doing exactly nothing. I wasn't even busy...

Oh dear what rattles my confidence is readng about all of your rather clever and amazing jobs and feeling a bit inadequate as a result! And that's annoying because I bet men never feel like that!!

in the days when I had staff I would occasionally ask her to make me tea when I was super busy, I would do the same for her if I was making

her job title was receptionist and my pa, not that it matters

she left and I had a male temporary replacement, people were surprised when I also asked him to make me tea

I always treated my staff the same

< Your dh bringz a bus home?! Going to look out for the "neighbour parking" aibus >

Aye, he brings the bus home, it's only 32 seats so not a great hulking thing.