Mid-career retention of women - "we need better childcare provision"

[tootsietoo]

This makes me so mad and I need to rant! I've just got round to reading a month old copy of my industry magazine which has a big feature on women in the industry. Several high profile women were interviewed and a feature of the article was that they were praised for having "brought up a family" and created a hugely successful career. One of them said something about needing better childcare. And another lamented the huge problem with retention of women in the industry mid-career. My blood is boiling. WHERE ARE THE FATHERS? Why does everyone assume that it is the mother's job to deal with the domestics? No one ever expects a father to go part time or work more flexibly when he has children or, heaven forbid, actually give up his job to look after them. And the few that do are some sort of god like creatures . Is it a surprise that a lot of women will not make martyrs of themselves by doing 2 full time jobs (if they have the choice - I know lots of women don't and they HAVE to do it all, mostly). How are we going to go about making it a cultural norm for men to take equal responsibility for their children? I am going to make damn sure my daughters know that they have to choose their future partners carefully if they want to have a job and career throughout their life AND children. It is not necessarily all the fault of the men either. So many women (me included) seem to feel they HAVE to do everything. And also seem to choose higher earning or more ambitious partners which gives them less power in discussions about who does the childcare.

Thank you for listening!

but that's it exactly blueshoes - "working ft gives ME the cash to outsource" "I have a live in au pair". it's all talked about in terms of the domestics being your responsibility.

We have a cleaner 3 hours a week (I know, I know, it's all rich people's problems this is!) and I look on it as outsourcing dh's share of the cleaning and tidying!

just been listening to woman's hour and shouting at the radio AGAIN. About part time women GPs. As if the women are the problem. It's not the women that are the problem, it's all the other caring and chores that are the problem! I think I've just realised why the white male establishment was so terrified of the suffragettes. they knew that the endgame was that they would have to do the cleaning and change the nappies.

The house isnt my responsibility, and I have never called it that. If you are that type of person then a man will never make a mug out of you. You are only treated as you allow yourself to be.

I think the mental responsibility for organising household/childcare tasks can be pretty onerous in itself, if not shared. I.e. if a couple share the physical tasks entirely 50/50, but only one is responsible for making sure it all gets done, then I'd consider that a pretty unfair distribution.

So would agree with OP, where responsibility lies is important.

petey But that doesn't cover other people's assumptions, over which you have very limited power. E.g. "She's got young kids, she'll have too much on at home for this juicy project, we'll give it to Bloggs" (who also has young kids, but isn't assumed to be responsible for them).

If you are always there, not tired, act keen and absolutely no different to pre kids then that wont happen.

I was promoted in to a managerial rold with a 7 month old. Why would it make the slightest difference that I have children. I am still the same as before, and will not be slowing down.

The thing that makes me as a teacher of girls is that whenever this issue is discussed in the media it seems to be framed as 'cost of living so high, both parents need to work, childcare so expensive' all of which is true (in London and the southeast anyway) but in the case studies, none of the women ever seem to say that they want to work because they enjoy their jobs and are good at them. It seems to be unacceptable for women in this day and age simply to work because they want to and that makes me very cross because no-one ever seems to think a man becoming a father precludes him continuing to take his career seriously, even if he has to cut his hours back a bit.

I also very much agree with the posters upthread who said that the more senior you are and the more in demand your skill set, the more incentive an employer has to retain you. Although in my case that meant I left having a child nearly too late.

What should I be advising my students? Get as far as you can as quickly as possible and pick your partner very carefully? I did have one girl say 'I'm just going to marry someone rich - it all sounds like far too much work'.

Yes. Very annoying that the woman should need to justify working. Either your family need the money so it's ok, or you're a hard nosed career woman. I work for the same sorts of reasons as dh does.