Female privilege

[lose24lb]

There is a lot of talk of male privilege but not female privilege? Can we discuss things from the other point of view?

As a white female in a developed country, my privileges are:

1. If I am a child and I go missing, the media is far more likely to give my case more attention than if I were a boy. And if I'm pretty with blonde hair then all the better, I can guarantee the entire country will know I'm missing and be out looking for me.

1. From an early age the opposite sex will be instructed never to hit me but I will be given the same instructions. And should I strike males I can expect not to be hit back and any social penalties that occur from my actions will actually fall on the male.

1. If I'm not smart and unable to get a well paying job, all I have to do is marry a wealthy man.

1. Most homeless are men, yet most homeless shelters are created with my gender in mind. Which means if I go homeless I am more likely to get a bed in a shelter than if I were male.

1. If I commit a crime I am more likely to get more leniency than a man in the exact same circumstances. People will want to try and understand what made a pretty woman like me do such a thing and look for reasons. Unless I go on a mass murder spree I don't really have to worry about going to prison.

1. If I am attacked, passers-by are far more likely to intervene to protect me than if I were male.

1. As a female I am less likely to be physically attacked in the first place or challenged to a fight.

1. Despite killing almost as many people, prostate cancer gets only a fraction of the funding than breast cancer does. It benefits me if my health issues are given priority over men's health issues even if the men's issues are almost as deadly.

1. If a man masturbates it is seen as disgusting and perverse. If I masturbate then I am seen as pleasuring myself. Female masturbation doesn't carry the same stigma as male masturbation.

10. If I am pretty and/or I can make myself cry I will be able to get away with anything and everything.

11. If I am upset I am allowed to cry without being ridiculed. I don't have to be all macho and bottle my feelings up like boys and men have to do.

12. Similar to #11, I am encouraged to seek help if I need it. Seeking help is not seen as a weakness for my gender. If I seek support I will get it and people won't laugh at me or ridicule me or tell me to "man up" or "take it like a man".

13. I can wear almost anything I want without having my sexual orientation being questioned. If a man doesn't want people to think he is gay then his wardrobe will be extremely limited. But with the possible exception of dungarees I can wear anything I want.

14. One word- chivarly. Because I am female I can expect little perks here and there. One seat left on a bus? It's mine! Expensive dinner bill? The guy can get his wallet out.

15. If my husband lays a finger on me he will be labelled as a wife beater for the rest of his life, be beaten up by other men and spend time in prison. But if I hit my husband people will say "you go girl!" and say he must have deserved it. I can hit my husband and he won't dare hit me back out of fear of what I just pointed out.

16. Violence against women is the worst crime on earth. Violence against men is hilarious, especially if it involved injury to the titter penis/balls.

17. On today's TV programmes my gender is portrayed as being smart, strong and independent. The male characters in today's soaps, comedy's, cartoons etc are shown as complete idiots, deadbeat useless fathers or criminals.

18. I can work with children without being worried about people thinking horrible things or making horrible allegations.

19. If I live in the USA and there is a military draft, I won't be forced against my will to sign up to the army and go fight in battle.

"If my husband lays a finger on me he will be labelled as a wife beater for the rest of his life, be beaten up by other men and spend time in prison"

yeah right

but what can the average guy (like my good self) do about the patriarchy then? I see such things as high male suicide and lack of accommodation for the homeless and my only thoughts are that the patriarchy is formed by the political elite or those that control the supply of employment.

Mugoftea, I looked at the link you gave. It actually says that they carried out a survey of hidden homeless people. 84% of the people they got to participate in the survey were men.

That tells us neither what proportion of homeless people are men, nor what proportion of hidden homeless people are men. It simply tells us who Crisis selected to survey.

That's true Freya you'd have to construct confidence intervals to gain some insight into the population, my oversight.

that is a really weird example, man is violent then other men are violent to him so poor men? I don't get it

You'd also have to find statistics on all forms of homelessness, not just hidden homelessness of single people.

Indeed, very much worthy of further study.

Brilliant thread op. Thank you for this

1. Schools esp at primary level are populated by mainly female role models and their teaching/assessment style is more likely to favour girls.

1. Boys/men are statistically much more likely to be physically attacked but have much less support when they are

1. Non-sporty boys are less socially acceptable than non/sporty girls.

1. Boys/men tend to be treated much less tenderly in an equivalent situation

1. Boys/men are far more likely to injure/kills themselves (breaks my heart to write that one )

1. Yes, schools are primarily staffed by women. But women then go out into the big wide world of jobs and discover that, in high earning roles, the skew is massively towards men. It isn't a privilege of being female, its the congregation of women in 'women's jobs'.

1. This isn't an issue of female privilege. Men's violence against men, women and children is not an example of a privilege of being female. As discussed up thread.

1. I agree with this one. Although girls are judged incredibly harshly on appearance.

1. Do they? Really? How is that female privilege exactly?

1. Agree with Kim147 on this one.

Am speaking on this thread as a mother of boys in response to OP who asked for examples, hence mine.

However, i totally agree that overall men are still more privileged as you cited.

Ah, I see. This thread is a follow on from another thread. What the OP is basically arguing is that male privilege doesn't exist and that the poor menz have life just as hard as women.

I totally agree that there are areas of life where men experience difficulty - mental health and suicide being obvious examples.

"Pointing out that men are privileged in no way denies that bad things happen to men. Being privileged does not mean men are given everything in life for free; being privileged does not mean that men do not work hard, do not suffer. In many cases ? from a boy being bullied in school, to a soldier dying in war ? the sexist society that maintains male privilege also does great harm to boys and men.

In the end, however, it is men and not women who make the most money; men and not women who dominate the government and the corporate boards; men and not women who dominate virtually all of the most powerful positions of society. And it is women and not men who suffer the most from intimate violence and rape; who are the most likely to be poor; who are, on the whole, given the short end of patriarchy?s stick."
Eva Batsheva Bat-Avraham

When men have lack of privilege, it is not just because they are men. It is because they are poor, or black, or gay or whatever - all the reasons why women have lack of privilege compared to men. In addition, women suffer lack of privilege just for being women.

Where people cite what they call female privilege, such as women becoming resident parent in the event of divorce, that is because most women do more parenting than men and therefore the residency status reflects the status quo.

This is not a female privilege; this is because men refuse to do their fair share of parenting and this works against them - rightly - on divorce.

Where men can show that they have in fact done more parenting than the average father, they are actually more likely to be granted sole residence where they ask for it. (This is even where they've done less hands-on parenting than women, but just the fact of them doing more than the average bloke makes courts think they're doing more than the women.)

Chibi got it spot on.

I love the way the FWR regulars force all the goadyfucker invasion posters to debate.

This thread is giving off a heady perfume of 'Oh dear, OP, in over your head and provoking this crowd is so much harder than you thought it was going to be...'

'Where men can show that they have in fact done more parenting than the average father, they are actually more likely to be granted sole residence where they ask for it. (This is even where they've done less hands-on parenting than women, but just the fact of them doing more than the average bloke makes courts think they're doing more than the women.)'

That's an interesting statistic, I didn't know that, have you got a link please?

Did I just read an OP that suggested that I should feel privileged in situations such as
Rape
sexual harassment
domestic drudgery
sexual discrimination
homelessness
abduction
physical abuse
objectification
likelihood to die of breast cancer

because although as a female I am more at risk of these things, some limited help has been provided for me?

damn, yes, I'm lucky. I'll remember that next time I'm on the end of harassment, discrimination etc

OP: would you rather be part of the group that frequently gets raped - with the possibility of after support to deal with the trauma of never seeing your rapist convicted and being told you invited it somehow
or the group that does the raping and gets raped far less?

which group is more privileged again?

To go back a bit, the OP charmingly suggested that females were privileged because they experienced less prejudice about being gay.

Can't link because of the firewall, but below is an extract from what Radio Five broadcast about Clare Balding, as reported in today's Times:

"The BBC has said sorry to listeners for broadcasting a live discussion on ?curing? the award-winning sports commentator Clare Balding of lesbianism.

Saturday?s special edition of the Radio 5 Live show Fighting Talk also invited contestants to debate whether Balding should present racing coverage topless.

In a comedy segment called ?Defend the Indefensible?, Colin Murray, the show?s presenter, asked contestants to argue: ?Give me 20 minutes with her and I?m pretty sure I could turn around Clare Balding.?

To groans from the show?s rowdy live audience at the Liverpool Echo Arena, Bob Mills, a comedian, said that the BBC?s racing presenter was a ?horsewoman? who ?appreciates power between her thighs?.

He went on: ?And we all know, there is no woman that can?t be cured.?"

Isn't it nice to know that she experiences less prejudice. I love Clare Balding, it makes me furious on behalf of both her and her partner that there are men out there that think that these are funny of appropriate jokes. And that standard defence of 'it's only funny, it was meant to be indefensible' - well ha ha ha. So instead of being hateful, you are ironically hateful. Like the Oscar speeches.

Beyond vile.

from the OP : "19. If I live in the USA and there is a military draft, I won't be forced against my will to sign up to the army and go fight in battle."

More than 9 out of 10 American veterans of the Vietnam war were glad they were in the military. 3 out of 4 would do it again. They returned to better job prospects and better pay than men who did not serve in Vietnam. More than 8 out of 10 Americans think highly and positively of the men who served in Vietnam.

based on source: www.uswings.com/vietnamfacts.asp

What the OP is basically arguing is that male privilege doesn't exist and that the poor menz have life just as hard as women.

Such an extreme interpretation of the OP. He just says that there exists a female privilege as well as a male privilege. Surely this is undeniable? I can't understand where all the vittriol on this thread comes from. Men clearly have better than women, but why the need to deny the existence of any miniscule female privilege?

I've stood watching women in acedemia crying to get help with computer problems, flipping hair to get favours...all the while seething that men with heads apparently screwed on bend over backwards to help. A lot of women so obviously use their position as the 'weaker sex' to manipulate and gain advantage. Literature is full of it.

Talking about literature, Anyone read Down and Out in Paris and London? Full of the male homelessness - how low ranking males fail completely in the love stakes. Women, from all ranks, will get sex/find a partner if she wants. Low ranking men are much less likely to. Tramps, forget it.

Fewer than 3 million American men served in the war in Vietnam, but more than 9 million other American men lied that they had served in Vietnam. I presume they lied for the benefits it brought them.

based on source: www.uswings.com/vietnamfacts.asp