Good piece on sex work by Laurie Penny

[SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh]

Here. She puts it a bit more elegantly than I usually do...

I wonder how many police are punters themselves.

Individual police/punters don't generally control policy.

Prostitute is such a degrading name for a woman. The men who use prostitutes are men. There is no degrading word for them, they're just men

I agree "prostitute" isn't the best term to use, but it's better than "prostituted women" which I've seen used a lot. A better term is sex worker which acknowledges what they are doing is work and they are deserving of respect just like anyone else who earns money. "Working girls" is sometimes used too.

Clients are often called "punters" or "Johns" although I'm not exactly sure where "John" came from (why Johns? why not James' or Michaels or Alfreds?).

I can't begin to imagine how hopeless and what sorry state of mind they must be in to offer such dangerous services.

It's safer than working in a cornershop or a pub. And the pay is better too (£150 an hour sound good?).

"Brothels" (where more than one prostitute works) are actually the safest way for prostitutes to work

Agree. What usually happens in the UK is a worker always has a friend or "security buddy" who waits (in a car, in another room) for the entire hour while the worker is with a client. But if brothels were legal it would mean the workers could at least work in the same building and look out for each other as well.

Some women are offering unsafe sex on Adultwork.com

I have noticed. Fortunately the ones offering unsafe sex (or "bareback") seem to be the minority with zero feedback (which implies they are getting few or no bookings).

in most brothels, women are allowed to say they won't shag a particular punter, and the brothel-keeper can't/won't force them.

This goes for escorting too. On adultwork money is paid for time and companionship only (the site mentions this several times). If a client wants to have sex and the escort doesn't she has the right to say no just like anyone else.

I think " John" as a name for punters came from the fact that John is a very common name, and unidentified dead bodies in the US (it's a very American term) are either John or Jane Doe. Punters prefer not to be identified, especially in the US where prostitution is mostly illegal.

Absolutely agree, Franz.

i dont buy that all prostitutes are coerced or drugged, the one my DH was seeing regularly looked in very good health and seemed happy and totally at ease with what she was doing (fucking vulnerable husbands and taking money off my DC's table)

same with most of the other escorts on 'adultwork', the majority have obviously forked out and gone to town on professional pictures to advertise themselves

i cant be the only one to take this stance surely?

I agree with you, katie, that most sex workers in the UK are doing it voluntarily rather than having pimps/being forced. I'm sorry that you and your Dc are suffering, but "vulnerable husband" -really? He's a grown man, he made his own decision, don't blame other women for his behaviour.

And the big klaxon has just gone off! rftbih - iswym.

I don't understand your Klaxon, becs, are you suggesting that katie is from pn? Because I saw her posting on a different thread re AW earlier and have no reason to doubt her, and I myself (and Franz) have been posting on this thread from quite early on. Are we a PN "invasion"?

And I don't know what rftbih means.

Some are happy and healthy

Some are doing it to make ends meet

Some are drug addicted

A high % have suffered violence & abuse as a child and have grown up in the care system (can't be arsed to look up the exact %)

Some are trafficked and raped many times a day by men who have taken their passports

Some even come on MN and gloat about fucking our husbands/partners

Some see themselves as victims, soe don't

But what I'd really like to know is why so much angst is caused by a relatively small proportion of men who feel they have a right to pay to sexually abuse (at least some of the above) women.

yes, i believe he was vulnerable at the time he was lured onto adultwork, we were having money and marriage issues and I was so busy with DC's I believe he felt stressed and neglected so took solace in the OW (or escort, however the only difference really is she is a PAYG OW!)

personally i dont see how any moral woman can make money from ruining families like this, I understand most men who visit hookers are attached, theres even reference from some girls on AW to the man about covering his tracks!!

im not a klaxon (forgive me, Im not too good with computers), or from any other site, I found my Dh cheating with a woman from adultwork about 3 months ago and posted about it here, its been a distressing time to say the least and I am still upset about it

And if you were to look at a few profiles on adultwork the escorts certainly don't look like they are drug addicts or malnourished. It just isn't what one might expect after reading a Guardian article on the subject.

fucking vulnerable husbands Sweetheart, I'm sorry it happened to you but seriously get a grip!

Katie, apportion at least some, if not all, of the blame to your husband. Adultw*rk didn't force itself into his living room - I'd never heard of it until I read it on MN. He must have sought it out.

I'm sorry katie, I totally understand that you are devasted by your H's behaviour. But you need to search for online sex, I really doubt that he was contacted spontaneously, without expressing any interest to anyone... No-one forced him to pay for sex. (Including you, if he's doing a guilt-trip on you.) He chose to go looking and he chose to actually go through with his meetings, the blame stays firmly with him.

And adultwork as well as the other major escort directories only list escorts who are at least 18 years of age. So these sites aren't facilitating the demand for underage abuse.

Katie, and certainly don't blame yourself for being busy with the dc! Wives being busy with the children doesn't entitle men to buy sex from other women - despite how many would have you believe it.

I definately took it out on my H as he spent christmas on his sisters couch, and is only seeing DCs at weekends

I must say im probably angry about the whole thing, 10 year relationship down the drain, broken family, aswell as further self esteem issues due to finding out my hubby has been shagging a younger, slimmer woman (and PAYING to do so!)

apologies if ive offended anyone xx

I'm not surprised you're angry Katie

All the best x

No reason you could have offended anyone katie, but please put the responsibility for your h's behaviour on him. If it wasn't AW, it would have been cornershop ads for "french polishing" pre-interweb, or phonebox cards, or an affair with a work colleague. He's the person who made you promises he broke, not the OW, paid or not.

OLKN its a long story but Im very suspicious one of DHs work mates introduced him to the adultwork site, either that or the knowledge that these women are ou t there and so obtainable and with our marriage problems he just couldnt help himself and was lured away by his little brain if you know what i mean

OldLadyKnowsNothing, you may not know what rftbih means, I don't expect you too but I'm sure runningforthebusinheels will crack the code.
Katie - I was not calling you a Klaxton or anything else. If you look back on the thread you will see this is not the case. I don't know what OldLadyKnowsNothing is trying to suggest with PN thing but whatever it is I have not suggested anything of the sort.