Male nannies/childminders

[Lottapianos]

Just listening to a discussion on the radio about male nannies. The general feeling is that having men work with young children is a good thing. No argument there!

However, the reason given is not because men are 50% of the population and it's good for children to spend time with both men and women so they can start to see both sexes as equal. The reason is that 'men and women play differently' - men are more 'rough and tumble' and kids love that Oh and some boys are growing up without a man in the home and they need a male role model in order to develop normally and not grow up gay. Or something

I really do get sick of all this essentialism - men do this, women do that - in the same way as I can't stand people talking about how boys and girls are inherently different. I really think that putting people into boxes based on their biological sex is stifling and unfair - what happens to people who don't 'perform' in the way they are expected?

Any thoughts on this issue?

You would hope that the man kicked up a fuss and refused point blank - unfortunately they take the easy way. I am highly irritated on his behalf - it simply shouldn't happen.

No my views on this don't come from horrible past experiences. I have had a relatively easy life.

And at no time have I ever said that all men should be banned from interacting with children or jobs where they work with children. I dont think they should.

But the man on the plane was not accused of being a paedophile. He was asked to move as some men are paedophiles. So it makes sense to place an unaccompanied child next to a woman who statistically is less risk. Not no risk, but less risk.

And you know this attitude would once have been common place. A child put on a train alone would have been sat next to a motherly looking woman for example, because she would have been seen as a safer bet.

And asking a man to move seat on a plane really is not a big deal. He majorly over reacted.

Not but you have said that women should be able to choose not to employ men because they pose more of a risk.

Which is pretty much the same thing.

You are emphatically wrong here, please think about it. Your views are quite scary on this issue.

Yes mothers should be able to choose not to employ men to look after their young children. Men do provide a greater risk for children of being sexually abused.

Why do you think the potential mans feelings are more important than a mother wanting to protect her children?

It's so much bigger than feelings.

I think men have a right to be treated as decent human beings unless they have behaved otherwise. It is degrading to assume they are peodophiles.

It's like saying you don't want your teenage son to be taught by women. Because some women are prostitutes and you wouldn't want to risk him associating with one.

I don't.

I think any mother who thinks that no man should be allowed to look after child potentially has some complicated issues that are expressing themselves in unnecessary paranoia.

That doesn't mean she can't express them, just that I think her thought process is flawed. She can hire who she likes.

But for a business to do the same (and they do) feeds the hysteria, tbh. And is unlawful.

I would be much happier if childcare jobs were split 50/50 between the sexes, for all of the reasons stated above.

For a feminist to be arguing such sexist tosh and squealing paedo hysteria about blokes in childcare is nuts. However well spoken and many statistics they gush.

My apologies for suggesting your views had been colored by a previous life event. I am glad I was wrong, but it was really the only reason I could think of for you to be maintaining this viewpoint.

The 'sitting next to a child on the plane' scenario is utterly unbelievable. Such wild-eye'd-but-focussed contempt for men in general is rarely allowed to come to the surface.

I completely agree that that man on the plane overreacted.
In any event the childs protection should be paramount regardless of offending anyone. He was in no way accused of being a paedophile.

He was told he was unsuitable to sit next to a minor.

I would be offended if someone said that to me. But they won't beause im a women.

I'd also be offended if someone said I was unsuitable for a career as a pilot/generic make dominated career/dentist

Because making an uniformed judgement based on gender stereotyping is wrong.

Indeed, Felicity.

If mothers are going to choose not to have men look after their DCs that is fair enough- BUT what they can't do is then complain that childcare shouldn't be seen as women's work. You can't have it both ways.

There is a slightly higher risk for a man to sit with a lone minor than for a Woman.
In the event a child gets lost why do Mothers tell their child to look for a Mother with children rather than a lone male? It's just statistic common sense it doesn't completely guarantee anything but I think most reasonable people accept this surely?
It's not to cause anyone offence nor suggest all men are abusers.

In the event a child gets lost why do Mothers tell their child to look for a Mother with children rather than a lone male?

I think it's partly poorly disguised gender stereotyping.

And partly because it's easier to find a mother with children out and about than a father with children out and about.

And even more disturbingly because we perceive women to care more about a lost child- and therefore be more likely to help. (I don't think this has any basis in -recent- truth however).

The lone man thing is a red herring if you wouldn't direct your child to find a lone women either.

Nobody is saying that men shouldnt work with children. I said I understand why mothers might be wary of a male worker looking after their young child and might choose not to have a man looking after her child. Perfectly valid because men are much more likely to sexually abuse children.

In terms of the man on the plane. Nobody said he as an individual was a paedophile. It is an airline policy because they recognise there is an increased risk to an unaccompanied child from a man. He was not accused of looking like a paedophile. The airline simply no that men are more likely to sexually abuse. And so statiscally it is safer to sit an unaccompanied child next to a woman.

And the man did not suffer any harm from this. He got his feelings hurt - thats it.

DS1 has a male childminder. He takes him to the ramps on his scooter and also on bike rides. DS1 is 9.

And Felicity I have no idea what you mean by:

"It's like saying you don't want your teenage son to be taught by women. Because some women are prostitutes and you wouldn't want to risk him associating with one. "

What harm is a woman who is a prostitute going to do to a teenage boy? Beinga prostitute is not the same as being a sexual abuser. So what did you mean?

Yet the only person ever to be found molesting a child on a plane was a woman...

drater - a 2 minute google search came up with this case where an unaccompanied girl was molested by a male stranger on a plane www.thenational.ae/news/uae-news/man-arrested-for-molesting-girl-on-emirates-flight

It may not happen often, but it does happen.

1 minute later I find this one as well. www.khon2.com/news/local/story/Kauai-man-sentenced-to-prison-for-molesting-child/dt0NaQfQY0ik0An_yInm5A.cspx?p=Comments

I havent got time to look into this more, but please dont pretend this never ahppens - because it quite clearly does

I can't engage with this insanity anymore. It's just ludicrous.

'the airline know that men are more likely to abuse' policy is absolutely shite, eats.

I ran airports for 16 years, and whilst unaccompanied minors were sat in specific seats near the hosties (who were just as likely to be gay men as bosomy matronly types) the only way we would move a male passenger away from them is if some loon complained.

I'm pretty gutted that you are using fwr to peddle this sort of nonsense and fear-mongering.

I feel very militant about it. Any man ought to refuse absolutely to change his seat and take it up with the airline-it is a diabolical way to treat a customer.

The thing is as a stranger the chance that man on the plane will harm that child is minuscule. Maybe we should keep all children away from their fathers and any other male member of their family or friends. Just don't complain that all the child care is done by women I doubt anyone could take your complaints seriously.