Male nannies/childminders

[Lottapianos]

Just listening to a discussion on the radio about male nannies. The general feeling is that having men work with young children is a good thing. No argument there!

However, the reason given is not because men are 50% of the population and it's good for children to spend time with both men and women so they can start to see both sexes as equal. The reason is that 'men and women play differently' - men are more 'rough and tumble' and kids love that Oh and some boys are growing up without a man in the home and they need a male role model in order to develop normally and not grow up gay. Or something

I really do get sick of all this essentialism - men do this, women do that - in the same way as I can't stand people talking about how boys and girls are inherently different. I really think that putting people into boxes based on their biological sex is stifling and unfair - what happens to people who don't 'perform' in the way they are expected?

Any thoughts on this issue?

There's been very high profile cases of women nursery workers, exploiting children and linked to paedophile groups, in the last few years and probably have been for years.
When we were looking for a childminder/babysitter, sex was never an issue. We wanted to employ a neighbour/local. We've had for the last 3 years the most sensible lad who is brilliant with our boys. My youngest DS had a young lad, 18 helping in school last year, he loved him too! He's since gone on to uni to be a teacher, and what a brilliant teacher he'll be.

Thought so Kim, you seemed pretty defensive. Try and understand it from mothers point of view, many of whom will have been sexually abused by men as children. Of course you want to protect your children from that.

'Even touch a child nowadays and they'll accuse you of abuse.'

Who is the 'you'? The child touched, other children, other teachers or parents?

Tiggy I and others I know did work with children when living as a single person. Yes it is low paid, and lots of women and a few men, have to live on those wages. It is a proper job, albeit a low paid one.

Kim, some people want more males in schools. I have never heard any mother object to men working with older children - although some may have objections. The concern is about men working with young children - infants etc - especially when they still need physical care.

yet it was a woman teacher, a mother who abused my son! Go figure, there are right and wrongun's of both sexes! Would prefer a male taught my boys, they understand them! It's just unfortunate that our local school have a male reception teacher (father of 3 boys), that my dc missed out on.

I know a brilliant male reception teacher, but he tends not to mention his job down at the pub. There are far more male teachers in key stage 2.

EatsBrains If you're at school choosing what you want to do in life, or choosing later on, the low wages are a big factor.

But most children don't make allegations against staff.

Lots of staff touch children. My daughter's male teacher hugged her and she didn't make an allegation.

It is simply not the case that 'even touch a child nowadays and they'll accuse you of abuse.'

And I did watch the tv show; the girl made an allegation which was false, and it was quickly resolved. It had no impact on the teacher's career whatsoever.

Yes there are good male teachers and nursery nurses. Yessome woman abuse.

But a high number of mothers will have been sexually abused by a man as a child. Men are the principal sexual abusers of children. So of course mothers may be wary of men working with their young children.

Given that most abuse occurs within the home, should we be looking askance at fathers changing nappies too?

Am really, really at some of these attitudes. And on this board!

Tiggy - yes you are right and boys tend to avoid low paying careers

There are more and more men working in nurseries. When I started in the early 90s I was just about the only man in Berkshire. Now I reckon 1 in 3 nurseries have at least one man. Some have several.

Every mother makes a judgement about who they trust their child with. All mothers will prioritise different aspects when considering this. And some mothers will prioritise sex in order to safeguard their child from sexual abuse. And I think that is an understandable position to take

Understandable but wrong.

Why wrong Tiggy? Given that sexual abuse of girl children by men is so common. It seems a perfectly logical response to me

Wow! hang on minute! when did this convo ever become about sexual abuse? Female teacher not letting a 4 year old use the toilet, him wetting himself infront of peers and being humilated. Female teacher pulling a childs hair. Female dinner lady bullying. All abuse all from women. Back off! not all males (the minority) are bad. It seems to me the majority need to be watched, as they are 'trusted' and can and will get away with it. Not saying it's the same everywhere, but I think in a school/nursery/childminder situation, most males would be outstanding due to trying to correct parent's thoughts.

Child having her hair pulled or being sexually abused? Nobody would want either to happen to their child. But I know what I think is worse.

The vast majority of male and female teachers are not going to abuse children. What is concerning is how children are protected when such an incident does arise, and if teachers are going in with the attitude that they should be more concerned with protecting male teachers' careers/feelings/character than with protecting a child from abuse, then that creates an environment in which abuse is more likely to happen and go undetected.

Agree spaniel. Too many focus on protecting male workers feelings and reputation than the child.