Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Should it be illegal for men to pay for prostitution?

999 replies

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 31/08/2012 11:13

Should we criminalise all men who pay for prostitution, alongside help for women to leave prostituion?

OP posts:
wisdomoflollygag · 09/09/2012 10:23

Remember what Peter Crouch replied when he was asked what he would have been if he hadn't been a professional footballer - a virgin.

SabrinaMulhollandJones · 09/09/2012 10:42

All that maybe true- but what's it got to do with prostitution?

Thedoctrineofennis · 09/09/2012 10:44

Xenia do you think that housewives don't love and fancy their husbands, or that househusbands don't love and fancy their wives?

Really??

SabrinaMulhollandJones · 09/09/2012 10:55

I actually think that the wag culture is pretty bad too- but it's a fact that people are attracted to money and power. I don't think you can equate wags with prostitutes though. 'rich and powerful man bags pretty wife' is not on a par to punting. (can't believe how the term 'punting' is just rolling off my tongue in these posts now :( ) I wouldn't want my daughter to be a wag or a prostitute tbh.

Gigabot9k · 09/09/2012 10:58

Sabrina, it highlights the give/take contract often found at the core of modern relationships.

We got to this point because we discussed how some marriages can be similar to prostitution, except prostitutes just do an hour or whatever and get paid for that hour.

SabrinaMulhollandJones · 09/09/2012 11:59

Some marriages being on a give and take basis does not equal justification for prostitution though. You may be able to employ the kind of cognitive dissonance required for a punter to enjoy the services of a prostitute, but that doesn't take away the amount of abuse involved in it.

Frida kindly shared her story on here- she would have been ome of these willing prostitutes you all talk so glowingly of. Yet it has damaged her- you just pay your money and walk away from all that a happy punter. The only way you can do that is denial of any harm involved in prostitution and by comparing it to wags and housewives.

Xenia · 09/09/2012 12:34

On my other thread I post the hopeful news that men now want clever women who earn reasonable sums, not just a pretty face and large breasts and women increasingly as less worried about his bank balance and more about his looks and IQ. That is a really good step forwards but still the exception. Mumsnetters whether consciously or unconsciously tend to pick men who are good providers, more likely to want the Tesco board member than the young man who sweeps the Tesco floors.

As someone said above when the income stream goes she divorces him and moves to the next victim. She gives sex and her looks and cleaning services in return for cash. It is one advantage women have over men. We can both out earn them through our work as plenty now do (more girls get good degrees than boys and more earn more than men in their 20s until they breed) plus we have the added likelihood we can marry for money. There is usually love in there too - but what did you fancy about the fat bald older man with the massive beer gut question usually boils down to his wallet not is personality.

What is fascinating is why do men have to pay for sex and women don't?Hakim says it's because men want it more than women do.

fridakahlo · 09/09/2012 13:14

Hakim's views on sex are really out there Xenia and I suspect the only reason she wrote and published that book is because she knew that her weird ideas would sell.

exoticfruits · 09/09/2012 14:10

I think that it is really sad reflection on relationships if people see them in the way that Xenia does. I just don't come across it. I find that people fall in love, find the person they want to have children with and grow old with. They are part if the extended family, they actually like their ILs, partner's cousins, siblings etc. They settle down with their best friend, the person who is on the same intellectual and emotional wavelength, the person they don't want to live without, and they organise life the way they want it. Earning a living is part of it, and fair enough if you both want high powered jobs, but I see us a unit and what we earn is a joint effort. We are not in competition. We couldn't care less about status and shallow things. We both enjoy sex- we don't barter it!
I don't know why I really bother replying - if you want to see life in those terms, Xenia, you are free to do so. I am glad to say that I don't.

Narked · 09/09/2012 14:14

Yes.

exoticfruits · 09/09/2012 14:14

I would also like to see how DH would earn his living if I dropped dead leaving him with 3DCs to bring up. His high powered job would have to go or he would have to employ a housekeeper, nanny, gardener, cleaner and therefore -since he doesn't, I am earning the money too - I am essential in earning it and very pleased that I get the fun part of not commuting to an office.

Narked · 09/09/2012 14:15

'I'm pretty sure the average wealthy footballer gets more sexual attention from females than a guy who works the counter in a builders yard.'

And yet there are still lots of publicised accounts of them hiring prostitutes. Why is that do you think?

wisdomoflollygag · 09/09/2012 14:23

I think it might be because they like sex.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 09/09/2012 14:27

This isn't entirely in the spirit of the current conversation re marriage/prostitution, but is a fascinating piece about sex work and statistics.

And now I'm going to read the piece about the Swedish thing.

exoticfruits · 09/09/2012 14:27

And they have more money!

exoticfruits · 09/09/2012 14:28

Footballers that is.

Narked · 09/09/2012 14:31

But they can have plenty of sex without paying - there are lots of young women who want to sleep with them. Why choose to pay?

wisdomoflollygag · 09/09/2012 14:35

Because there are less strings attached.

Narked · 09/09/2012 14:36

What strings? I'm not talking about relationships I'm talking about lots of young women who actively want to have a night of sex without them having to pay for it.

exoticfruits · 09/09/2012 14:37

Exactly wisdom - it is also a power thing- they have the money and they are paying for whatever they want. If they are not paying they have to listen to what the woman wants or they may end up in court. If they are drunk at the time it seems simpler to me to pay and not end up in court.

Narked · 09/09/2012 14:39

Or did you mean strings like regarding the woman as a sexual partner rather than a collection of orifices there for their pleasure?

wisdomoflollygag · 09/09/2012 14:41

That's a bit of a crude way of putting it!

Narked · 09/09/2012 14:45

That's what prostitution is. It's not having to give any consideration to the person you're having sex with because you have bought their body. It's treating women as blow up dolls. The fact that men with lots of willing sexual partners choose to do this shows that it's not about liking sex.

wisdomoflollygag · 09/09/2012 14:47

Look,take the example of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.Richard Gere was rich and treated her really nicely.I expect these rich footballers are the same.

exoticfruits · 09/09/2012 14:48

I think that it sums it up Narked. (it is also why Xenia is wrong comparing them to wives who have other priorities than paid employment)