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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Can someone help me with this anti-feminist?

27 replies

mcmooncup · 21/06/2012 13:15

I have ongoing 'discussions' with a man about feminism and his anti-feminism is generally staggering but at least, in fairness, he does continue to engage.
BUT, he has today emailed me this

Please can someone help me write a cutting yet accurate remark back to this. I don't give a fuck if I 'offend' him.

I am obviously not getting the message through. And he's starting to bug me big style
!

OP posts:
KimaGreggsSausageRoll · 21/06/2012 13:29

I didn't listen to it all - the male voice droned on and on telling her what to think (just like in RL!) and I got too pissed off with it/him.

Tell him to fuck off?

I'm sure someone more eloquent will be along in a bit...

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 21/06/2012 13:35

Why is it so important for you to get the message through to this particular person? It may well never get through to him. Perhaps he is not, in fact, open to new ideas and his "engagement" is just toying with you.

Is it your job to educate him?

AbigailAdams · 21/06/2012 13:43

I couldn't quite put myself through the whole thing but it seems to be based on the premise that feminists think men and women are the same. This is inaccurate. They believe that those differences should not be a barrier to equality and that those things that women can do that men can't such as bearing children should be valued more than they currently are and not an excuse to discriminate.

However, feminism is about sooo much more. It is about liberation from oppression. The oppression that men still continue to maintain through violence.

Not exactly succinct! I would perhaps send back another video, perhaps about all the baby girls in China being murdered or raping of women. Someone else may have some good ideas about that.

AbigailAdams · 21/06/2012 13:45

Although I agree with Kima and HotDamn too!

yellowraincoat · 21/06/2012 13:47

I generally just feel that some people are beyond redemption, don't WANT equality and never will.

Then I go and waste my energy on something else.

Prolesworth · 21/06/2012 13:52

He's an energy suck and a waste of your time. I honestly wouldn't bother communicating with this person at all.

TeiTetua · 21/06/2012 14:04

Uh oh. Not married to him, are you?

HotDAMNlifeisgood · 21/06/2012 15:22

If you are determined to argue with anti-feminists, the "Finally, a feminism 101 blog" has compiled answers to all the common anti-feminist arguments that people regularly trot out when faced with a declared feminist.

A useful resource.

BasilBabyEater · 21/06/2012 15:38

Yeah best thing is to direct him to sources as he has you. Don't waste energy on arguing with him

24HourPARDyPerson · 21/06/2012 15:41

I'm with the othersmcmooncup I really wouldn't bother.

He either gets it by now, or he doesn't want to.

Original poster
mcmooncup · 21/06/2012 17:26

Thanks all.
No I'm not married to him Smile. Thankfully. But he is a fairly high profile business leader and I feel like giving up on him is a defeat.......he will feel like he's won.
He tries to wind me up, I know that, but stilllll I don't want to concede defeat and calmly get the consistent message across.
Thanks for that website, I'll use that.
It infuriates me to give up. Every little step and all that Wink

OP posts:
grimbletart · 21/06/2012 17:43

Sadly mcmooncup - you can't win with a knuckle dragger because they first decide what they think and then try and amass faux "evidence" like that video to confirm their prejudices. Life is too short to waste on idiots.

UnimaginitiveDadThemedUsername · 21/06/2012 17:58

What a shit video. Perhaps the robotic voices are to get support from men on the ASD scale who can't properly interact with women?

samandi · 22/06/2012 10:26

Can't be bothered to click on the link but if he's irritating you why bother engaging with him? The more energy you expend on these people the more they thrive, and they're mostly too stupid to understand proper reasoning and arguments.

samandi · 22/06/2012 10:28

you can't win with a knuckle dragger because they first decide what they think and then try and amass faux "evidence" like that video to confirm their prejudices

Exactly.

vegangrrl1 · 22/06/2012 21:14

That's a dumb video, obviously created by somebody who has absolutely not idea about feminism whatsoever. The guy who sent it to you sounds like an ill-educated bore. Ask him how one misogynist's crappy use of wikipedia makes that a video about the truths of feminism. I mean, come on,
Misogynist bear: "Women don't have a biological instinct to have children?"
'Feminist' bear: "Well, yes they do."

That right there is the dumbest thing I ever heard. That's like a basic rule of feminism - feminists ( in general ) do not believe in biological determinism/essentialism. Angry

garlicbum · 22/06/2012 22:41

Those videos are made with a free online tool; you can't avoid the drone because it uses text-to-speech.

Your ' friend' lost me as soon as the female bear agreed that having a child forces a woman to become dependent!
Not exactly a feminist, then. Nor even intelligent.

BasilBabyEater · 23/06/2012 09:04

The thing is, the video is so shit that it is too painful to go back watch it and critique exactly why it is shit, line by line.

But you could do that if you cd be bothered. However,that woud really be allowing this idiot to hijack your time and energy

LibraDog · 23/06/2012 23:00

The argument that feminism has dug it's own grave is completely null and void because FEMINISM HASN'T HAPPENED YET!!! Any negative consequences for women that have come about are due to anti-feminist backlash that has thwarted feminism's progress and left us with the dysfunctional compromise of a society that we see today, where we have a veneer of "equality" over a still deeply misogynistic society.

Not that I think you should continue to discourse with this idiot...

solidgoldbrass · 24/06/2012 00:26

Just reply to every bit of guff he sends with 'Protesting too much again, are you sweetie?'

WilsonFrickett · 24/06/2012 00:33

unimaginative did you mean your comment to be so offensive to people with ASD, many of whom would love to be able to relate to women/other people. But who can't because they are disabled. FFS.

TheCrackFox · 24/06/2012 00:40

I would say something like "bless, you are really trying your best. So sweet.".

Patronise the fucker.

echt · 24/06/2012 03:40

The Roman Catholic church has a useful label for this kind of thing, it's called invincible ignorance.

I'm not one to such to any religious organisation for help in this, or any respect, but I think they're spot on here.:)

Krumbum · 24/06/2012 15:42

So the conclusion was that because feminist women may not have loads a kids they can't then create a sort of army of feminists.
Feminism Is not the same as religion it's not about trying to get everyone believing it's about changing laws that benefit us all equally (even those who don't support it) and helping people question their prescribed roles in life.
Raunch culture is an issue but not one created by feminists. We arnt all third wavers who see stripping as empowering. I don't get how it's women pressuring women into this, it's not it's the media and pornography Which are created my men.
This goes under the assumption that the fight has been won which it certainly has not.

NigellaLawless · 24/06/2012 15:49

^what Wilson said!!!