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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

do you believe in the patriarchy?

960 replies

bejeezusWC · 08/06/2012 07:47

A poster on another thread said she views feminism as the struggle against patriarchy. That is how I view it too. I believe that is considered the rad fem stance?

Another poster said she didn't believe in patriarchy

I don't geddit

Why/how are women so unequal if not for patriarchal societies? WHO has been oppressing us?

Please tell me what you think, if you don't believe in patriarchy

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EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 11/06/2012 22:48

Garlic - Sadly I do think grey hair for women in their 40's is a feminist statement these days

HotheadPaisan · 11/06/2012 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 11/06/2012 22:50

ES - what does your dad being deaf have to do with anything?

FrothyDragon · 11/06/2012 22:51

And yes, the patriarchy exists.

It exists in the fact that my mother, who worked for the council for countless years, is no longer entitled to her private pension. My father, who was the breadwinner in our household, hasn't lost a penny of his. But the patriarchy is affecting him as well, as a result, as they've always jointly managed their finances; Mum feels the pinch, and he feels the pinch too.

It exists in the fact that we're told, on a daily basis, if you're happy being single, there must be something wrong with you. Unless you're a man. Except, from what I know of my friends, it's the men who secretly fear the single life more than the women.

It exists in the fact that, so far, we've only had one female prime minister.

Or the cuts to domestic violence refuges.

Or the fact Rape Crisis receives NO central government funding.

Or the fact women are still doing the majority of the housework.

Or the fact donkey sanctuaries receive more in charitable donations than women's refuges.

Or the fact if my son's father demanded access, he'd get it, because, no matter how bad a father a man is, parental responsibility is very rarely removed. It's much easier to remove it from an incompetent mother.

Or the fact, in a year of a Literature course, we received 2, maybe 3 texts by women to read over the entire year.

Or the treatment of Ched Evans' survivor, even after he was found guilty.

Or the hoops women have to jump through to access abortion services, legal aid, or the waiting list for rape crisis counselling.

Or the fact, as of yet, only one female director has received an Oscar...

I could go on for hours. But every turn, I see the patriarchy staring back at me.

EclecticShock · 11/06/2012 22:51

I think ageing affects people in different ways. Sure it's more socially acceptable for men to have younger women, down to evolution and social constructs but men also feel the affects of ageing, maybe more do on their effectiveness rather than appearance.

EclecticShock · 11/06/2012 22:54

Frothy, just maybe some of those scenarios are not the result of patriarchy alone?

garlicfanjo · 11/06/2012 22:54

Fuck Eats, that is depressing.

If you're interested, Porto - my advice is don't! I've coloured my hair since my blue-haired teens, so didn't notice how grey it was getting until recently, when I started developing Weird Multicoloured Patches that result from the grey hairs taking the dye differently. Now I'm faced with the very annoying challenge of dyeing my hair grey until it grows through. Nobody's invented a credible grey hair dye yet ...

Just. Don't. Start.

FrothyDragon · 11/06/2012 22:55

Eclectic, interestingly, my father has been grey since his late 30's, IIRC. He's always embraced it. Men don't seem as scared as appearing old on the outside; it's the inside effects they hide. Because we're told men "improve" with age (look at the George Clooney, Harrison Ford worship). Women have our crows feet and grey hairs criticised at every turn.

Portofino · 11/06/2012 22:55

Ecletic, you ARE a bloke, right?

FrothyDragon · 11/06/2012 22:57

Some of them may be the result of things other than the patriarchy, but whilst we have the patriarchy over us, we can't really tell. But for the most part, I see a patriarchal influence staring back at me in every one of those things in that list.

Himalaya · 11/06/2012 22:57

Have been off watching 'A Day in the Life' so a bit late on the scene...but EclecticShock she said 'bring a man', there is not much other way to interpret it.

Wasabi - hope you blow them away with your brilliance ;-)

RulersMakeBadLovers · 11/06/2012 22:58

I don't really know what you are arguing for, ES? More analysis of the various factors (which would still require analysing the patriarchy) or less analysing full stop?

bejeezusWC · 11/06/2012 22:58

Oooooo garlic I dont fear ageing, if i can get a blue rinse! Grin

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FrothyDragon · 11/06/2012 22:59

Pfffft, blue rinse... I'm going multicolour! Grin

garlicfanjo · 11/06/2012 23:01

Eclectic, the only one of Frothy's points that can't be blamed squarely on patriarchy is the donkey sanctuary one. And that can be answered with the fact that helplines for abusive males, which are under-subscribed, get government funding while the over-subscribed lines for abused females don't.

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 11/06/2012 23:01

Eclectic - Is Porto right? Are you a man?

garlicfanjo · 11/06/2012 23:02

Frothy, multicolour may well be the only viable option open to me right now Wink

FrothyDragon · 11/06/2012 23:04

Garlic, matching multi-coloured rinses it is, then... Would it be too much to get F.T.P shaved into the back of my head?

I plan on growing old disgracefully. Grin

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 11/06/2012 23:06

FTP?

bejeezusWC · 11/06/2012 23:06

Electric blue!

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EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 11/06/2012 23:06

Sorry just realised - no FTP would be totally great!

FrothyDragon · 11/06/2012 23:07

(short for Fuck The Patriarchy, EBAL) Wink

EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 11/06/2012 23:08

Would certainly be a conversation starter Smile

TunipTheVegemal · 11/06/2012 23:08

Garlic, a few years ago I went for a haircut at a reasonably young & trendy salon. Four out of the five young women hairdressers (I mean very young, 20s not 30s) had grey hair - light grey, almost white, but grey nonetheless. It looked very 18th century, all exactly the same shade so clearly dyed rather than some freak of recruitment. They all looked bloody marvellous - it was a flattering shade and very cool.
I was hoping it would be the Next Big Thing but I have never seen it since.

bejeezusWC · 11/06/2012 23:09

eclectic what oppressions/ inequalities would: you attribute to the patriarchy, if any?

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