Come and share stories about positive support you've had from other women :-)

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

I wanted to start a thread about the sense of support and community I sometimes feel very strongly, both on MN and in RL. I thought maybe we could share some positive stories, and maybe get to thinking about what is so important about community and shared experience for women. I don't just mean women-only spaces, but all sorts of times when you've felt picked up and cared for by the support of other women.

The background to this post is a trip I got back from last week. I went abroad, and I've never been so far away or visited this country before, and not to put too fine a point on it, I was really nervous and stressed about the whole idea. But not one, but two feminists - women I'd never met before in real life - rallied round to help me find places to stay and work out how to best get on. And both of them met up with me during my stay, and we had a ball. And it just made me feel an amazing sense of community, that women from halfway across the world could all meet up, with very different beliefs (really! One is a devout Orthodox Christian and the other an atheist academic), and still be so kind and supportive.

I just thought it was amazing, and it made me very proud to be a feminist. So ... over to you.

R2 beautiful. Tears to my eyes. >takes hanky and wrings it out>

So lovely. Thank you for sharing.

I hope I would support any woman who had been abused, raped or attacked. Just as I would condemn anyone who condoned or supported abuse of women and children. It is people who do that who should be cut off from our support and outed as the pathetic, lying, sick abusers they are.

I don't want to think about them on this thread and I wish all women could be freed from having to think about this stuff.

Cracked: whatever your agenda is here, take it elsewhere. You are being sarcastic and aggressive for no apparent reason.

13 yrs ago I arrived arrived completely traumatised at a women's refuge with two teenage boys and the clothes we stood up in.

All the staff were wonderful but one women in particular will always hold a place in my heart.She refused to give up on me or let me give up on myself.

She saved my life - a true angel

Ceiling: you appear to be hurling random insults at LRD and the rest of MN, in fact, given your uncalled for animosity, I would respectfully suggest that there are other fora you could grace with your presence. I believe CIF is reknown for its robust exchange of insults.

Erm, moving on from Cieling's outburst (which I've reported, I object to being lumped in with that dreadful paper!).

I have had fantastic support from the NCT and Mumsnet and from many lovely friends, particularly as I started my journey into parenthood. Poledra I am involved with the Colchester branch and I will send the link to the thread to the lady who I think you mean and I'm sure she'll be very touched. She is a lovely lady!

On MN, another poster managed to diagnose that I might have underactive thyroid as her sister had had identical problems.... she took the time to respond to my post and off the back of that I got a blood test which led me to be put on medication, I got my cycle back and then I got my gorgeous DD .

Late last year I posted in AIBU about my DH's grandma being taken into a home with dementia, I got some very helpful and sensitive advice which really helped me at a difficult time. I know AIBU can be a bit of a vipers nest but that night they really were lovely!

Those are lovely stories, Blondie. I remember when my dd was about 3 months old I got very bad bronchitis. I was prescribes very strong anti-biotics and my
dr. told me I couldn't bf. DD was distraught with me and I posted in despair about her refusing a bottle from me (she would have them at nursery but never from me) and cried and cried all night. I posted ini despair the next morning and someone told me that I could bf with the drug I was on and posted various links to government health and medical sites which confirmed it.
I am pretty sure these kinds of tales are two a penny on MN, the evil insisterly bunch we are

I've enjoyed teading these experiences. It's so important to be reminded how things one says or does that may seem small and insignificant can often be a very big deal for someone else!

I've been fortunate to work primarily in women only settings or those with few men, and I've found the situations really positive and productive.

Lots of personal support experiences but none as inspiring as those already shared here. Thanks for starting such a lovely thread.

Thanks for posting. issy that is wonderful - and so great you got out of the situation, too. The way people on here share stories about ending abusive relationships and surviving abuse really gets to me - it must be one of the best forms of support for other women in that situation. I'm lucky I'm not in that situation but it does help me feel evangelical about watching for warning signs.

blondie - I love that you know who poledra's supportive woman might be! That's pretty cool.

Blondie, you've got mail - I would be absolutely delighted if you can find the right woman. Thanks for the thread, LRD - I've always wanted to be able to thank that lady, but was so caught up in my own drama at that time that it didn't even cross my mind.

Well said SGM.

And . I would be a very different kind of feminist without you (and the other lovely women around here).

poledra - I am just so chuffed you've 'found' her. MN for the win again.

I am really enjoying reading these stories, thanks everyone for posting. It's making me want to dash out and pass on the support (so I will try to).

Goodness - by "teading" I meant "reading." (Just call me fat fingers on the fone!) :)

Stewie, I think you've made an important point there. I have always seen feminism as a journey rather than a destination. We can all learn new things and share valuable insights and support with one another, whether we came to the movement last week or 30 years or more ago.

It saddens me a bit when I hear someone say that they are reluctant to speak up because they are newish to feminism, are still on a steep learning curve or feel a bit in the shade of others they see as being more knowledgeable, experienced or highly regarded.

To be honest, I've often gained the most from ideas shared by those who are fairly new to feminism, or come to feminism from a different route than I did. The "fresh eyes" often recognise things or see things in a different way than I would - ways that lead me to challenge and question my own assumptions. I might not agree with others all the time, but I think it's really important to mull things over and not become complacent in one's understanding.

So I'd like to say a thank you to everybody who's shared stuff, whether or not I've directly engaged with them or not (lurking can be helpful, too!) that's led me to reflect, to consider and open up my thinking. That's one of the cool things about MN I think.

This is a lovely thread. Thanks for starting it, LRD.

MN has been a constant support for me over the years. From the poster who dog-sat so that I could have a day out with a friend, to the MNetter who first praised my writing style and gave me the confidence to write more. To all those who supported the creation of the online mag for pre-teens. The MNetters I have met since returning home to Scotland - more of you lot have been interested in meeting than my old friends, despite them all being FB friends for years.

My MIL, who cosseted me and DS when I had PND, got DD off nappies at the same time, and is generally always there for me.

My Mum, who is putting me up at the moment without moaning or whinging. We are getting on better than we have in years, and I never thought I could move back home for even a few weeks.

The gynae who cared for me when I was pregnant with DS, new in a strange city and very alone. She would give me cuddles and ask how I was feeling.

My SIL - I call her the sister of my heart. She is wonderful. She has totally transformed my brother's life, is interesting and thoughtful, kind and gentle. I was away this weekend and she took the kids out several times to give my dad a break.

The fabulous midwife who stayed on past her shift to help me after two fruitless hours of pushing for DS1 culminated in a forceps delivery. I held her hand tight and said 'XXX, don't leave me!' She said very reassuringly 'I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart.' At that point, her presence was far more important to me than that of DH, lovely though he is!

My super NCT friend who came to visit me in hospital with impromptu chocolates and magazines when I was miserable with an infection after DS2's birth and DH couldn't visit much because he was looking after DS1, although I know she was busy with her own DD. My NCT friends and the organistion in general, actually, I'm a big advocate of the NCT to anyone who is expecting!

Ooh, TEO, you reminded me... my fab SIL who reassured me over DS1's progress at school, looked up loads of links and books and games to help him for me and who is just so sweet and caring.

And that's great things are working out better with your Mum than you expected!

Had a great female boss when I was pregnant with my first child. She gave em the heads up that they were going to advertise for the position above me while I was on maternity leave, and engineered it so that they could board me before I left (I got the job ). I remember her saying 'I am the only senior female in this building and I'll be damned if I am going to stand by and watch yet another talented woman leave because she hasn't been promoted '.

My mother is amazingly supportive. She was an original 60s and 70s feminist, and we often have long chats about being a woman in a patriarchal society.
I love my mum

Very heartwarming and lovely thread. I just loved all my midwives, such wonderful and supportive women, who cared deeply about me. Eldest dd now off to university and was very homesick initially. When I talked to friends about it they were wonderfully supportive of both her and myself. Can't believe she has grown up so quickly!