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Feminism: Sex & gender discussions

Good retort to being called "Miss" needed please

75 replies

rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 20:44

I am a teacher and married yet a male teacher always calls me "Miss" with not even a surname on the end. It really grates. I have asked him not to but he still does it and to all female staff members.
How can I explain to him why it is wrong?

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musttidyupmusttidyup · 04/03/2012 20:48

All pupils refer to female teachers as Miss at my school. Thought it was commonplace?

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NotYetEverything · 04/03/2012 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 20:49

I used to work in a school like that and it didnt bother me the kids doing it but I do think a grown man could use surnames and correct titles. I don't call him "master".

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rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 20:50

He knows all names.

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Dworkin · 04/03/2012 20:52

No, certainly not in all schools and when it does it mostly happens in infants in primary.

In the grown up world of secondary school it most certainly doesn't happen and this man is being a complete dick. If you have asked him to stop it and he hasn't, then I suggest you contact the head of the department and or union.

Stamp this out now. He is using it as a derogatory term.

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legoballoon · 04/03/2012 20:52

I think the OP has an issue with the male colleague who 'endearingly' (puke) calls her "miss". I'd either ignore it, or look him in the eye and say "You can either call me [first name] or Mrs [last name]". Would that do the trick?

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musttidyupmusttidyup · 04/03/2012 20:55

In the grown up world of secondary school it most certainly doesn't happen
It does!
Several of my colleagues do this too- not to be disrespectful though. I often refer to senior male colleagues as 'Sir' - is that ok?

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rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 20:56

It is Secondary and he calls all women this in front of pupils and in staff room. Yes, it makes me want to vomit and poke his my eyes out. I have asked him to stop but he says it's a habit.

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Dworkin · 04/03/2012 20:59

Must:

You are using 'Sir' as a term of deference to a senior "male" colleague.

The term 'Miss' is used by this man as a derogatory term to further enhance superiority.

It doesn't happen in either of the secondary schools I work in.

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rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 21:01

I wouldn't call male teachers sir.

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Hulababy · 04/03/2012 21:02

When I was in secondary it was very commonplace for pupils to just say Miss and not follow it my a surname. So that aspect is definitely not restricted to primary. It also happened when I worked in adult education in a prison. It was never done to be unkind, nasty or in any way derogatory though.

It wouldn't bother me in a classroom in front of pupils, although would prefer use of Mrs (Surname).

Not great in the staff room or away from pupils. But does he mean it unpleasantly, is he doing it to be derogatory? Or is it just his manner, and he is a nice person really?

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rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 21:04

Don't know why he does it but it makes my teeth itch and I want him to stop. Can't stop him referring to rest of female staff in this way though.

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littleducks · 04/03/2012 21:06

We had to call our teachers by names or Sir/ma'am at secondary school

I was being called miss by a five yr old on sat and said "I'm not a miss, I am a mrs" he then called me Mrs Grin would have thought a grown man could grasp it!

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Dworkin · 04/03/2012 21:07

So, do other male teachers do it?

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SardineQueen · 04/03/2012 21:09

What does he call his male colleagues?

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rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 21:10

No, just him and he's younger than me (by a couple of years).

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rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 21:10

Mr surname.

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Dworkin · 04/03/2012 21:10

I would also add that it seems he knows it makes your teeth itch and is getting off on it.

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SardineQueen · 04/03/2012 21:12

Bloody hell I'm not surprised you're getting wound up.

So men are mr whoever and all women are just "miss".

You have asked him to call you by your name and he won't.

He sounds horrible. A total fucking arsehole, in fact.

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rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 21:13

You're probably right.

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rainbowinthesky · 04/03/2012 21:13

That was in response to Dworkin, but you're probably right too ,SardineQueen.

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SardineQueen · 04/03/2012 21:14

dwokin suggests head of department / union and that sounds like good advice.

He is setting a terrible example for pupils, treating his female colleagues disrespectfully and being sexist. Surely that's not allowed?

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Dworkin · 04/03/2012 21:15

:(

It must impact on your working life. I would have a word with the union rep.

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Thingiebob · 04/03/2012 21:16

How rude. I would be really pissed off with a colleague calling me 'Miss'.
Have you asked him to stop?

Call him 'Mr' in future.

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Dworkin · 04/03/2012 21:16

Sorry, and HoD.

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