Good retort to being called "Miss" needed please

[rainbowinthesky]

I am a teacher and married yet a male teacher always calls me "Miss" with not even a surname on the end. It really grates. I have asked him not to but he still does it and to all female staff members.
How can I explain to him why it is wrong?

It is really odd that he calls males by their surname and mr, can't fathom that one at all!

I do think though that the miss and sir thing is proof, if proof be need be (brass eye there) that feminism still has much work to do"!

musttidyup, I don't disagree with you, and you don't disagree with me.

I think you will find that after you were pointed multiple times at what the OP said was actually happening, you agreed with me. Which was nice.

Some schools use this term all the time. I don't like it either, OP.
However, I am guessing that this is a habit from his previous school. I have known young female teachers to refer to other teachers this way.

Tell him it is either Mrs/Ms/Miss Surname and Mr Surname

OR

Ma'am or Sir.

Yeah, yes master does, I suppose, have colonialist connotations which I hadn't thought through. I'd only thought of master as the equivalent of miss.

Just don't respond?

You could try the faux-sympathetic approach next time he calls you Miss and say "Oh do you have a memory problem? You see I told you I was married and my name is Mrs InTheSky but you seem to keep forgetting. Is it something you need to talk about?" [pitying looks to him]

See what he says - how he says it and then say again "so it's Mrs InTheSky, Mrs InTheSky, say it a couple of times and it will stick"

THEN if he calls you Miss again you can go official on his mysogenistic arse.

I wasn't thinking of needing proof for this miss thing. More about proof for thinking he is generally fairly sexist.

In some schools this is how teachers are referred to, by pupils.

Miss or Sir, depending on gender.

As OriginalSteamingNit has said. In my current school I am Mrs Reticulum but was "Miss" at my previous school.

However, he is ignoring your request so is obviously doing it to wind you up. I like the suggestions to call him something irritating in return.

Regardless of whether or not this is seen as sexist, it's still incredibly rude to call someone by something they hate when they've specifically asked you to stop.

I would try some of the suggestions on here - he's clearly being a pain even if it's not intended!

You don't need proof for him being generally sexist. You just need to say that he addresses all female collegaues as miss but all men are referred to by name and this makes you uncomfortable and bad example and blah blah etc

Best trick is to not make it seem like you are personally lodging a complaint as head of dept or whoever will go into complaint mode. But to draw it to their attention as something that could well cause a lot of problems with staff, parents, students in the future in terms of them complaining and you feel it is disrespectful.

Mind you, it's all grist to the ms mill this...

Sorry to be pedantic SQ but was I or was I not writing a load of nonsense then?

"Miss" is what pupils call their female teachers. He should be calling you Mrs Yourname if they are present, or whatever you like to be called in the staff room.
Come to think of it, when I talk to people, it's quite rare to use their name or title all the time. Is he a bit odd like that?

In Ireland children call teachers "teacher" in primary school, I loved it :) In secondary teachers are called their full name, ie Mrs Dana, or Mr Jones or whatever, you would never just say "Miss." I found it hard to get used to when I moved here and children started calling me "Miss," it sounded quite rude. It really annoyed me when TAs would say "Ask Miss" to the children. I asked them to call me "Mrs Dana" instead and they did, bless them, including the TAs.

If a colleague called me "Miss" I would just say "Please don't call me that," and if they persisted I would just keep reminding them in a very overt way, to make them feel silly. It sounds ridiculous and so the person saying it should be made to feel ridiculous.

I would ask him this - "Do you realise how rude and discourteous it is to continue to call someone by a name they have asked you not to use, or to fail to call someone by the name they have told you that they prefer? Or don't you consider manners important?"

Just call him Mr in a joking way.

Is it really that important?

Teachers are loosing their jobs due to lack of funding and some pupils are failing academically.Outside of school 6 men lost their lives in Afganistan and men women and children are dying in Syria.

I mean really if that's the only thong keeping you awake at night ( I'm a teacher and may loose my job and my DH has cancer) then you're bloody lucky!!!!

If you are being treated differently in the workplace because of your sex, it's potentially unlawful. Perhaps follow STDG's advice above and add reference to the Equalities Act 2010 as well.

I went to school in America and from kindergarten on, all teachers were referred to by title and surname. Even if 'miss' as a general term for female teachers is traditional here, it doesn't mean it's right or that it doesn't reinforce to children that women are inferior and don't even deserve to be called their own names like men do.

I'm amazed that, in the staff room, teachers don't call each other by their first names. If a colleague in an office called me 'Ms gb' I'd think they were using formality as a joke, or referring to someone else's amusing use of formality.

I suppose the 'Miss and Sir' thing for pupils dates back to when women gave up work after mariage, so all female teachers really were Miss. We called secondary teachers 'Mrs name' but would say 'please Miss / Sir, can I...'

Jokes are funny once and it sounds as though your colleague was trying to be amusing once, by playing the pupil, or with a traditional style but has got stuck. Surely if he addresses you this way in person, you'd ignore him - it's the equivalent of 'hey you' - which 'you' in the room is he addressing?

I'd go with 'my name is lottie, lottie gb and as I'm married, that's Mrs gb. You are welcome to call me lottie but otherwise it's Mrs gb, Mr X. I've told you this before, I can keep reminding you but it really would be helpful if you could try to remember for yourself as it's getting a little tedious, don't you think?'

How do the other women teachers feel about it. Maybe you could do something as a group.

Also you could try, "Mr Fuckwit, you're not my pupil, you're my colleague, please would you call me by my proper name which is xxxxx". Repeat loudly, whenever he does this so as many people as possible can hear.

Fatagain - I suspect a thong would keep me awake at night too - chafing!!

fatagain - it sounds like you're having a bad time, but that doesn't mean that other people should let stuff slide by. in fact, other people standing up for the rights of themselves or others, gives people in difficult situations the ability to focus on their own issues.

i would agree - if he remembers the names of all the men, but never the women, it is pretty clear cut. perhaps raise it with his HoD, quietly, and point out that such a clear-cut difference in how he talks to people is grounds to accuse of discrimination. how he reacts to that will make it very clear how he really feels.

Good Lord people on this board have a bad case of first world problems. Does it actually matter? No, it doesn't. Carry on, misses.

I'm a secondary teacher and get called miss by students and staff in front of students. In the staffroom its first names unless I don't know someones name then I usually just fudge it.

It is odd that he calls you miss all the time.

I am eternally grateful that I suffer from first works problems and nothing life threatening. They are still problems and still I suffer.

When I taught in th UK I was horrified at how some staff refused to call kids by names they wanted. E.g. Always use a name like Nicholas when the child was only ever called Nic. Or where the parents had chosen a less conventional spelling , they expulsion deliberately mis pronounce it.

It is a subtle but constant style of put-down and that becomes bullying when it is all the time. When it is sexist bullying it is even worse. Imagine if someone like this becomes a member if management ? Women are such non people that they don't even have a name. Even pets have names.

But then I'm just bitter cos the last school I taught in had a member of management like this. He was in charge of personel. Guess how many women of child bearing age got promotions? Ouch that glass ceiling hurts.