"Miss goes missing on French official forms" - let's do the same here!

[Alittlefeminist]

Hurray for French feminists who have pushed through a revision of women's titles: www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/feb/22/mademoiselle-removed-from-french-official-forms :)

Let's do the same!

It's a choice of name based on whether you're married or not! And unless you're a cook from Victorian days, it's not just a choice of name, it's an honorific which is directly and solely to do with whether you are married and nothing else.

As I say, I don't think grannies should be forced to start calling themselves Ms!

Mrs for adult woman would be logical - it's short for Mistress, as are all three titles. I don't think I'd opt for it in a ballot because of the married-woman thing, but on logical grounds it's fine.

Anyway, I doubt you will be forced to change! And whilst you get to be Mrs, I will continue to be 'forced' to discuss my marital status every time I fill out a flippin' form!

DP won't, obv. Being a bloke, it doesn't matter. Just for the ladies, it's nice to know if they're hitched or not before you send out the Amazon order, eh?

It's not about dictating what you call yourself. It's about demanding that we don't have to be defined by men. Those of you saying its all about choice are sadly missing the point - ultimately, your "choices" are still entirely dependent on your relationship to a man. You are making a choice about whether you wish to declare your relationship status to everyone and think that because you do have a choice it's ok. But the very fact that women have been conned into thinking that it's ok to be defined by a man as long as they "choose" it is pretty sad seeing as I don't see any men out there desperately fighting for the right to define themselves by their relationship to a woman.

It is an honorific!

Every time a woman is asked 'is that Miss or Mrs?' and then has to say 'Ms' (which actually I don't, I say Dr), you are being asked a question which men are not asked, and which pre-assumes that your marital status is relevant.

And no, I don't think anyone thinks a package to a Mrs is more important - what I don't understand is why it's relevant.

Miss and Mrs affect the status of Ms, that is my problem with them.

It's not really true that you can just pick Ms, because what invariably happens is that you get called Miss or Mrs, or asked which you are out of those two.

I am in email conversation with someone to do with work who keeps on addressing me as Miss based on nothing at all - I keep signing it with my work autosignature, but it's not getting through! .

But how would calling you Ms be incorrect? You're a woman!

It is all about men defining titles, else why are we asked whether we're married or not every time we fill in a form? WHY IS IT RELEVANT?

"But how would calling you Ms be incorrect? You're a woman!"

Original but the logical step (and the one I can perfectly understand) would be to say: we do not want to be defined by our gender, so we prefer to have a form of address that is stripped of the "wo/man" connotation. Why is this not important to you, but having a choice to define or indeed NOT to define ourselves by marital status is?

The right to choose please! I was proud of my Miss and am now proud of my Mrs. My husband and I wear our rings and refer to each other in conversations. Most people we talk to, including salesmen etc, know are married. And we like that.

I can honestly say I am treated no differently now as Mrs than I was as Miss. I liked being a Miss and I like being a Mrs, it was my choice to become Mrs after I married my DH, I didn't do it for him or for any perceived status but because I wanted to and it marks us as a unit.

I love it when the little girl in the apartment downstairs holds the front door open for me and says 'Have a lovely day, Miss!'.

Better than being called Madam in the supermarket, or Missus. I use Ms myself, mainly because I use my maiden name and it gets confusing otherwise.

Somewhere further down the thread someone said she didn't think anyone else took her more seriously as mrs but it made her feel better. That makes me both sad and angry. The little voice in her head is saying, "I feel better about myself knowing dh is behind me publically" and she doesn't even realise it. That is the problem.

You are all telling me not to take away your "choices" while simultaneously advocating a world in which I don't get a choice to be treated the same as my husband, son, father or brother.

strawberrypenguin wrote - "it was my choice to become Mrs after I married my DH, I didn't do it for him or for any perceived status but because I wanted to and it marks us as a unit."

Your DH's title will not have changed as a result of your marriage. Your DH's title does not mark him as part of a family unit.

It seems to me that Mr is "more equal" than Miss or Mrs.

Some of the arguments on this thread in favour of maintaining the status quo ("it's my choice to do XYZ, it is unfeminist to take away a woman's choice.") are exactly the same as those used by women defending the burkha ("it's unfeminist to take a women's choice away from her...")

It is damaging to all women for them to be defined by whether they are sexually "available" or not. If these prejudices no longer existed then no-one would choose to be addressed as "Mrs". Because it just wouldn't matter. As it doesn't matter for men.