Reading the last part of this thread I can't help feeling that feminism is often seen as a bad thing precisely for the objections that SF is articulating; especially her opposition to the idea that people's choices are socially conditioned (you use the word "brainwashing" SF, which suggests a lot of hostility to me).
While people argue that their choices are entirely free, it will always be possible to affirm that strip clubs/porn etc are not always harmful. At the same time their arguments on this subject with feminists who believe in the idea of social conditioning will be be essentially debates in which both sides appear to talking at cross purposes.
Without going into questions likely to lead to bunfights, I can only think of explaining a my feminist point of view as follows.
I see myself as a free agent with the necessary intelligence to decide what to do and what not to do. I know what I like and have made many decisions about what I do not and what I am willing to tolerate or not. I think that the vast, vast majority of adults are just like me.
However, when it comes to clothes, what I wear is very much dictated by what is available. I am small and humpbacked and I find it difficult to find clothes that fit in mainstream shops. I buy clothes that fit me from the choices available. However, even if I was a size zero 6 footer, I would also be in the same situation. I just might have more choices available to me than I do as a humpbacked midget.
However, even if I were a size 0, if I wanted to dress like Elizabeth I or Bodicca on a daily basis I would find it difficult, if not impossible to find clothes for this on the high street. I could make my own clothes or have a dressmaker make them for me, if I had the money, but otherwise the chances of me being able to dress like Elizabeth or Bodicca are slim.
Finally, how do I decide what I like amongst the choices I have? Do i go to the shop with no expectations or ideas? In my case ( and I suspect I am not alone in this) I decide what kind of thing I am looking for on the basis of when I am going to wear the clothes and for what occasion. I also base my decisions on what I think looks good on friends or colleagues etc. For work situations especially, custom and rules impose certain clothes on me. Many non work situations, like weddings, parties, parents evenings etc also have informal or formal rules of dressing.
In short: my clothing choices are constrained by fashion, my physical appearance and my budget. They are also constrained by written and unwritten social rules about dress. I make my clothing decisions within all these variables. Feminism argues that all choices within current society are similarly constrained. Some people have more choices than others due to physical appearance, riches, education and a host of other variables. The variable of biological sex determines many of these choices, but within the sexes different people have more or less choice depending on their life conditions.
Feminism criticizes this set-up by pointing out how people's choices are conditioned by the society in which they live in. The aim is not to claim that women are brainwashed or too stupid to make sensible decisions. The aim is to show that "free" choice is an illusion that can blind us to the constraints in which we all live, or indeed an illusion that makes us hostile to anyone who points them out.
Finally - to put an end to a mammoth post - feminism insists that one of the most weighty constraints placed on women's free agency is the custom and tradition that a woman's most important asset is her body and her attractiveness to men. (Which is why being ugly and a lesbian are often used as insults to women). We tend to refer to this as the objectification of women, ie considering then objects designed principally for the male gaze. Acts and institutions which promote the objectification of women are thus viewed as harmful to women as a whole and hard to justify even if they might benefit some women as individuals.
Thank you of you read all that.