AIBU to think younger women should not dye grey hair

[maybenow]

I am finding myself growing more and more angry as i discover just how many women in their 30s and 40s feel absolutely compelled to dye their hair to cover any trace of grey.
I'm more angry as news has come of just how poisonous hair dye is! (see: here for e.g.)

I am blonde/red haired so it's not an issue for me, so this might be seen as hypocritical but i just wish SOMEBODY would take a stand and show that grey hairs are totally normal and does not mean that you are ready to draw a pension. If everybody under the age of 60 hides their grey hairs then each woman feels alone and ashamed and that they have to hide them too, even if it means putting their health at risk and subjecting themselves to harsh chemicals.

I realised today that women did in fact wear grey wigs in the 18th century - was at an exhibition where they had one of Keira Knightley's dresses and a couple of the wigs from The Duchess. Definitely grey.
What was all that about then? Were people actually trying to look older?

from wiki:
'In the 18th century, men's wigs were powdered in order to give them their distinctive white or off-white color. Contrary to popular belief, women in the 18th century did not wear wigs, but wore a coiffure supplemented by artificial hair or hair from other sources. Women mainly powdered their hair grey, or blue-ish grey, and from the 1770s onwards never bright white like men.'

nothing about WHY though....

I am a feminist and dye my hair. I am 35 and a brunette. Have been going rapdily grey since i was late twenties. I am not ready to be 'old., and grey hair is associated with being old in every culture known to womankind.

Just dont let me be one of those women still hitting the bottle of brunette at 70

hmm, best I have found so far (apart from lots of 'Because it was the fashion!' answers) is 'White haired wigs were popular because they were expensive and rare, and so men and women began (in the early 18th century) to use white powder to color their wigs and hair, as it was less destructive than dye.'
(demodecouture.com/hairstyles-cosmetics-18th-century/ here)
but why did they not care that it made them look old?

Hmm but that's not true is it, if Elderberry's post is right. Quite young women wore the grey and white hairpieces in the eighteenth century. What was that about?

I've found a blog by a group of historical writers that discusses it and agrees it is a puzzle here

YABVVVVVU its not up to you! If my hair goes grey in my 30's/40's I will bloody well dye it thanks very much.

'People should be able to do what they want and not have anyone telling them that they're letting the cause down by doing it'

Wouldnt that be great qwerty. I dont dye my hair and there's loads of grey. I honestly couldny give a crap. And I wear any old thing but am told I should 'tidy myself up' 'letting myself go' blah de blah de blah

I guess it's another example of how women feel more pressure to look youthful than men- most men I know in their late thirties/forties have got some grey, but they just leave it. Most women, by contrast, do cover it up.

Similarly the customers for botox, fillers etc are largely women.

I don't think there's anything wrong with dying your hair, but I think it's worth pausing to consider why women feel the need to fight the aging process more than men; the fact that society judges a woman's value by the aesthetic and a man's by the economic.

I've been dying/highlighting my hair since I was a teenager. Now it also covers grey! I think the reason men don't feel the need as much us because they tend ti have shorter hair. Proper all over grey, nicely styled can look good long, but mostly I think random streaks of grey in long hair don't look very good. I want to cut my hair short again if I lose a little weight and if I manage it I will go lighter overall and probably skip covering grey too.

So for me, it's a style thing that makes women do it. I come across quite a few v well groomed, short haired ladies who are grey and they look fab. Similarly with men. Dh used to dye when his hair was longer. But with it short he doesn't bother.

I've been thinking about hair dying recently as I'm getting increasing numbers of silver strands appearing - I used to just pull them out when I spotted them but it's too many now - and they are noticable as I have very dark hair. I'm 30 btw.

I find your OP quite odd though. It wouldn't occur to me to demand that other women stop dying their hair, to make me feel better about my own greys. None of my business what anyone else does really. And I don't feel alone or ashamed .

And honestly I think it's easy to say this kind of thing when it's not an issue for you personally. Like the blonde/fair/almost-hairless women who don't see why anyone wants to shave/wax/epilate their legs.

I fail to see how hair-dye containing a possible allergen is a feminist issue. A patch test should be done before EVERY hair colouring application, this is clearly stated on the packet, and it is everyone's responsibility to do it before using the product. It is not an evil plot by some misogynistic CEO of a big cosmetic company trying to kill off his customers. Nearly every chemical (and pretty much all substances, natural or not, on the planet are chemicals by definition) are capable of causing an allergic reaction, sometimes out of the blue when no reaction has ever been observed before. I have recently, in my 30s, developed an allergy to shellfish - I won't be eating them anymore :)

Re the "pressure" to use hair dye - I'm very fair haired so am not likely to go grey soon. However, I am also very fair-skinned and grey hair would be very draining on my complexion and I would dye it in a flash. It is not anti-feminist to want to look my best.

Grey hair is not acceptable to me. And men don't look any better with it than women do. It's ageing.

I don't dye mine. I stopped about a year ago. The main reason was because I was just fed up with the time, effort and cost of dyeing it.

In fact it has been fairly liberating. I have a white section (bit like a badger stripe) at the front and the rest is my normal colour. I kind of like it.

Although I do sometimes wonder if I should start dyeing it again, as I do feel 'old' when I am out with my friends who all dye their hair.

i'd love not to dye my hair. but I'm unfortunate to have mousy wispy curly hair. To make it grey too is just too much and I started greying in my early 20s. When a nice colour (Daniel Field Naturals I will not use peroxide-based dyes) I can get away with leaving it to its own devices so I have not visited a hairdresser since 2005. Dye is thus both liberating and frees up money to be spent on other nice things for me.