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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

AIBU to think younger women should not dye grey hair

90 replies

maybenow · 07/12/2011 21:51

I am finding myself growing more and more angry as i discover just how many women in their 30s and 40s feel absolutely compelled to dye their hair to cover any trace of grey.
I'm more angry as news has come of just how poisonous hair dye is! (see: here for e.g.)

I am blonde/red haired so it's not an issue for me, so this might be seen as hypocritical but i just wish SOMEBODY would take a stand and show that grey hairs are totally normal and does not mean that you are ready to draw a pension. If everybody under the age of 60 hides their grey hairs then each woman feels alone and ashamed and that they have to hide them too, even if it means putting their health at risk and subjecting themselves to harsh chemicals.

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 07/12/2011 21:54

When it does become an issue for you ,see how you feel then ...

usualsuspect · 07/12/2011 21:55

Didn't realise this was in the feminist topic

sorry

Original poster

maybenow · 07/12/2011 21:56

well, i don't wear makeup and i wear my hair it's natural mess curliness so i don't think i'd dye my hair if it became an issue (but i just don't think it will with my colouring so i can't make a stand myself)

OP posts:

Pumpster · 07/12/2011 21:56

If I want to dye mine then I bloody well will thanks...

HollyGhost · 07/12/2011 21:57

they should not have to

the reality is that we are expected to do it, for most women, signs of aging, are not an advantage when interviewing for new jobs

not everyone is in a position to take a stand, not everyone wants to

Original poster

maybenow · 07/12/2011 21:57

if you DO want to, i mean really want to, that's fine, but all my friends who dye theirs 'have to' do it.. and resent it... but feel that they'll be judged if they don't..

i guess it's like women who feel they 'have to' wear make up.. same issue.. men don't 'have to' cover all greys.

OP posts:

BranchingOut · 07/12/2011 21:58

Well, I think this is a valid issue...and a rather terrifying article.

Don't know what to do about it, though. :(

jasper · 07/12/2011 21:58

each to their own.

jasper · 07/12/2011 21:59

I quite like grey hair. Not on me though

AnaisB · 07/12/2011 21:59

I've highlighted my hair since I was 20 because it camouflages the grey hairs and it looks better. I'm not allergic to it so it's safe for me. Surely there are more important things to be angry about.

Original poster

maybenow · 07/12/2011 22:01

if your hair die contains PPD then you can become allergic with no warning at all.

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 07/12/2011 22:01

I don't know anyone who feels they have to dye their hair. How peculiar.
I dye mine. Have done since I was about 30 because I like too. Started going grey around 25. I had a section at the front that was almost white which looked kind of cool.
I also don't know women who wear make up because they have to. The women I know that don't like make up don't wear it.

ElderberrySyrup · 07/12/2011 22:01

They shouldn't feel they have to.

I am a SAHM so I can have mine how I like (and I like the grey) but I would definitely think very seriously about doing it if I had a job interview.

DooinMeCleanin · 07/12/2011 22:03

It's tragic what happened to those two young woman, however it is unrealistic to expect a whole industry to change what they are doing because 1% of the population could be allergic.

The dyes do tell you to do a skin test everytime you use it. Maybe they should be clearer on why and what could go wrong if you don't.

ZephirineDrouhin · 07/12/2011 22:05

Jesus. I wish I hadn't read that. And yes you're right.

bamboobutton · 07/12/2011 22:05

i henna my hair so i'm ok.

MsHighwater · 07/12/2011 22:06

To each her own. I am in my 40s now but have had very noticeably grey hair since my 20s having had my first grey hairs in my teens. I have highlighted my hair on occasion but have consciously avoided doing anything that I thought I would be difficult to grow out. I haven't done it at all in almost 10 years.

I reckon that women who think they "have to" don't really "have to" at all. What would actually happen if they just didn't do it?

Haziedoll · 07/12/2011 22:08

I don't have grey hair, genetically I'm unlikely to until I'm well into my 60's. I do highlight my hair and I wear make-up, although not all of the time. I do these things because I want to. I like to look my best, it may be vain but I'm not going to change because its considered unfeminist.

ElderberrySyrup · 07/12/2011 22:08

no-one has said anything about anything being unfeminist.

NotJustForClassic · 07/12/2011 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElderberrySyrup · 07/12/2011 22:12

Maybe women's hairstyles make it more noticeable. Women's hair is expected to be looked at more than men's, styled and made shiny with conditioner and stuff.

AmINearlyThereYet · 07/12/2011 22:13

I too had a section at the front, just as Pagwatch describes. I thought it was cool as well. It's a bit more than a section now but no, I don't dye it. Life is just too short. Anyway, I have never quite worked out what happens when you decide to stop dying it. Do you just pretend to have gone grey overnight?

BerthaPappenheim · 07/12/2011 22:14

I do, and feel guilty about it. I also wear make-up, and have recently drifted from doing so for parties when I could be bothered to every day for work because I think I look pretty grim without (raised by proper, hairy-legged, deodorant free 1970s feminist mother so fully aware of the politics here). BUT I also know that most people, men and women, for most of history and some of pre-history, have engaged in various forms of bodily modification and adornment for cultural/aesthetic reasons. Which isn't exactly a get out of jail free card, but makes me feel a bit better about betraying the sisterhood. I do have a fairly high-level job and would be the only woman in the building not wearing make-up and dyeing my hair, so maybe I can fight patriarchy in the boardroom while selling out in the bathroom?

MayaAngelCool · 07/12/2011 22:15

I've dyed my grey out in the recent past, because I wanted to. Grey hair stands out a lot against my black hair and in my late 30s I'm not keen on the look. If you don't like my decision, it really doesn't bother me one bit.

PPD, on the other hand, is more worrisome than the feminist question. I read that article a few days ago. After one dye job grew out within weeks, I couldn't be arsed to keep up the maintenance - grey hair fights back with a vengeance! But having had henna tatts in the past and a slight subsequent allergic reaction to a dye, I see that my idle attitude to hair maintenance could potentially save my life!

If a safer dye were invented (which would guarantee non-grey regrowth ) I'd use it until maybe my mid-40s.

ElderberrySyrup · 07/12/2011 22:16

Don't feel guilty Bertha!!!!

Do what you feel you have to to fight the patriarchy.

Despite the popular belief that feminists go around judging women for not being hairy-legged and dungaree-wearing etc, I don't know any in RL that do that....

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