This birthday party really got me thinking. . .

[FrankNCock]

Went to a party today for a friend's 2 year old DD at The Most Pretentious Indoor Play Centre Ever and several things made me a bit

So there was the obligatory 'princess theme'. When it was time for the lunch, it was sandwiches that had been cut into shapes of a top and skirt, and pink squash in plastic mini-wine glasses. Kids sat at tables arranged in a horseshoe, all decorated in pink, flower petals, tulle netting, glitter, etc. The birthday girl herself sat at a separate table at the open end of the horseshoe. It was decorated sort of like you'd imagine Barbie's desk, complete with a giant fancy pink phone. And there was the giant pink felt crown.

Ok, so it wasn't to my taste, and if I had a girl I could not see myself having a party like this. But I really got annoyed at the separation of girls and boys.

There was a craft activity. Girls made headbands with ribbons and flowers and glittery shit all over them (all in pink of course). Boys were shunted to the far end of the table to decorate blue door hangers. Boys and girls were given different cups just to hold popcorn (princesses for girls, pirates for boys). Different party bags (girls had Peppa Pig, boys had footballs). At the end, girls got pink balloons, boys got blue.

I just don't understand why everything had to be so different? I felt sad for all of them, and I can't even put my finger on why. More experienced feminists, want to help me?

OP, please send me a link to wanky boutique; could do with a laugh on a shitty Sunday night. It's been a really long day...

That poor little girl sat at her own little table, not able to interact with her friends

It's not that I hate pink. I don't. It's when it's shoved down little girls' throats with their pink fucking cupcakes and pink fluffy feathery shit. (Can you tell I've had a day of it?) it makes me cringe when I see people doing this to their kids. And they're the same ones who bash Primark for selling hotpants with 'juicy' written on the arse

IPBJT, link sent

SGM, sounds interesting, and I suppose it confirms the observations that things seem to be a lot girlier now?

frank, don't be scared. I am sure you would be able to counteract this stuff - I am hugely inspired by people on here who do that with their DDs all the time. I bet you would do a great job.

I know exactly what you mean, though.

SGM - ooh, I must read that!

There is no way on God's earth I would shop there. But there again, this woman obviously thinks Juicy Couture is suitable for baby girls, so clearly we differ somewhat.

I find this all very depressing.

OT- Round here the parents that go for the hand-painted wooden toys are the last to differentiate by gender- uber-lentil weavers and the like.

It's horrific, but you know- you don't have to raise your children like that- my children play with cars, trains, lego, kitchens, play food, pots and pans, dressing up clothes, jigsaws, dinosaurs, sand pit, dolls and buggy, playmobil etc etc. I have one of each gender- they just play, there's no 'boys' stuff' and 'girls' stuff' here, just toys.

sounds dreadful, what happened to big indoor play birthdays where you just mucjed about for an hour?.

*mucked

rollon - I hear you!

We should bring them back.

And princesses don't do anything do they - what a rubbish role model. Look pretty and marry into money - what an aspiration we are feeding our daughters.

Pfftt....It's all in the marketing.

Just make unisex mandatory jumpsuits for everyone (in a nice drab brown color), have one manufacturer, and if anyone wants to know if it's a boy or a girl they can ask, right?

Interestingly when I take out my 7 week old in her pink cardigan they know she is a girl but when she wears her white jacket many strangers assume she is a little boy

It's not like that where we live, in Latin America. It's in a bit of a time warp and not sophisticated enough for those kind of distinctions. Think UK in the 70's! I want to move back to UK but that's the kind of thing that's putting me off. Most people here couldn't even afford that kind of party, it would all be done at home.

Captain Nancy, I think this handpainted wooden toys are more aspirational, IYSWIM? More expensive status symbol than lentil-weavery. The one time I went to this place, it was full of women who were dressed fairly smartly, hair/makeup perfectly done, all lounging about having lattes and ignoring their children.

Yes- but what I mean is that here people who are aspirational don't buy into the princess/dirt monster dichotomy. Aspirational people buy beautiful wooden toys like <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=haba+sevilla&num=10&um=1&hl=en&safe=off&client=safari&rls=en&biw=1267&bih=662&tbm=isch&tbnid=a8blSeLl52mKAM:&imgrefurl=www.amusetoysblog.com/blog/tag/haba%3FcurrentPage%3D2&docid=Gu_DHEkF3jNPxM&imgurl=www.amusetoysblog.com/storage/haba_sevilla_blocks440.jpg%253F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%253D1300735383430&w=440&h=293&ei=ytqtTvj3Nsil8QPmz424Cw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=812&vpy=316&dur=592&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=132&ty=97&sig=107892262947809464291&sqi=2&page=1&tbnh=145&tbnw=208&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"> this, and eat only organic food, delivered by ocado or hand-purchased from the local organic bakery-cum-grocery store.

They dress their children in joules, boden, (because they're easy to buy online and not tarty) or supermarket basics, and 'pieces' from the local fairtrade boutique. They wouldn't be seen dead organising a princesses party- their children don't know what disney is, let alone disney princesses.

Maybe I just need to see what type of toys they are to pass judgement?

ah, I see where the misunderstanding is. When I say 'princess-themed', it wasn't Disney princesses, there were no flammable nylon dressing up clothes or anything.

Come to think of it, the table the birthday girl sat at looked like it was decorated for a madam at a brothel. There was pink feathery garland draped around the edges. Guess I know what the giant pink phone was for.

It was princess themed in the sense that there was a hat stating the birthday girl was a princess, and they had a giant pink castle for them to play in. Would probably have been more appropriate to call the theme 'girlie girlie girlie girl flowers and pink shit'

hmm- I see what you're saying, but that style is definitely left to the lower orders round here.

ah, well my whole town is pretty much given over to said 'lower orders'! This is about as posh as it gets.

Oh, it sounds so awful. I don't "get" putting so many restrictions on very young children at an event that is supposed to be about fun and play, not like at school, "no, put that away, you must do THIS now."

There is absolutely no need for separation by gender any more than there would be for separation by social class (now, you council house kids will draw pictures of buses and you owner-occupied children will draw pictures of BMW's - ffs!) or cultural background, or any other division. Can you imagine the outcry if parents organised a party like that? But somehow, gender segregation and stereotypes seem to be the norm. [hsad]

Sounds very bizarre - quite apart from the hideous concept, I'm actually amazed that 2 year olds all sat down together for tea and did crafting activities. Bit worried DD is feral cos she wouldn't do either of those things ... her idea of a party is somewhere she can run and jump around (and she doesn't do dresses cos they make the running and jumping too difficult!).

Do you know though OP; there is a sexist attitude to little boys as well. Look in all the shops and you'll struggle to find something that doesn't have various modes of transport, monsters or a slogan declaring the wearer is a messy little bastard or similar. My friends think I'm a snob for shopping at Gap kids and Boden, but it's the only place you can find even a handful of stuff without all the above.

constant I'm not sure I'd want my 2 year old to 'sit nicely' and do crafty stuff at a party! I'd want him to be running off some energy and eating too many sweets.

Isn't that the point though? That this is bad for both little boys and little girls?

Sorry, I'm pre-coffee, but it's been said at least once and many of the comments refer to both boys and girls.