How to deal with my bank re. title?

[NotADudeExactly]

So my bank has always treated me as a "Mrs" - not the title I normally use, but also not a huge annoyance. Until, that is, I tried to change it to "Ms" today as I happened to visit a branch for a change.

First thing, the guy at the counter tells me I need to speak to a personal banker. Fair enough - although it would be nice for them to be able to make minor changes. Except that when I did this, I was told by their personal banker that, ...

• I am a Mrs because I have a joint account with DH listed as "spouse"

• They will only change my title if I provide "official ID" such as a passport to prove that I'm a "Ms"

• Yes, the bank recognizes that passports and other forms of ID indeed do not contain titles, but they need one as proof anyway

• They're happy for me to be a "Dr" or "Prof", though, if I get a university to confirm that I qualify.

What made me even more angry is that I ended up having this conversation not in private but in the lobby of the branch with personal banker and branch manager trying to convince me that I should be a Mrs. All the while, a queue starts to form behind me and men are shaking their heads. I realize completely that my judgment at that point may have been clouded by anger - but I would have preferred not to discuss this in front of everyone and basically serve as the demonstration model unreasonable, hysterical female.

Long story short: being a Mrs wasn't such a big deal - being told that I cannot decide I'd rather be a Ms and being patronized kind of is.

Where do I go from here? Worth making a fuss about or should I just switch banks?

We went double-barrelled for our surnames, and mine went last. My bank had no problem with it (HSBC), just wanted to see a marriage certificate. I thought that was odd, since it doesn't have your married name on it...

DH's bank (Lloyds) got very confused, and said they had no way to change a man's surname after marriage! He was VERY patient with the person behind the counter and asked if they had forms that LADIES would fill in on a similar occasion. They said yes, he filled it in, and it was all sorted out by head office/the computer systems. But they were still shaking their heads and being all confused when he left the branch.

LOVE living up north!

I went to the GP to change my title from Ms to Dr.

Got my medical card today for

Ms firstname secondname Dr lastname [hconfused]

I've recently changed my title to 'Ms' and was surprised/pleased to hear that Barclays are introducing a 'no title policy' (for security reasons the personal banker said). While it's not all-encompassing - my new chequebook still reads 'Ms Me' - my new debit card is completely title-free.

Interestingly, it isn't the change to 'Ms' that feels the most empowering but the absence of it. Whether Mrs, Miss or Ms, due to our history titles always position me in relation to man. When taken away, it suddenly feels like I don't need to make a point anymore, like I (finally) am a human being in my own right and therefore an equal member of humanity.

As long as titles are still widely used, it's important that we argue for 'Ms' as the only title for women (epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/18225) to counteract the blatant sexism of the three female titles, but in the long-term, the abolishment of all titles might be the best way to a truly equal future.

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alittlefeministblogonlanguage.blogspot.com

I have started registering my clients' property with the wife's name first, then the husband. The custom is to do it with the man's name first, for no reason other than custom.

So, I just decided to reverse the trend - one case at a time! No-one has commented/noticed yet!