The departure of dittany

[Pan]

I only know that she has left, and in her post she didn't say much as to why, though some people can speculate and imagine why.

Quite a few days ago (last weekend I think) there were threads that pinpointed the lack of consideration that MNHQ has toward the sort of trolls that infest the FS section from time to time - different in nature and purpose to your average troll that infects MN from time to time.

It may well be that d. is in contact with regular posters whom she trusts. I don't know.

What I do know is that d. was a fabulous source of invigoration and illumination to a lot of posters, myself included, though we didn't always agree with her.

I would like a review from MNHQ of their current "talk guidlines" policy, in order that the FS is provided with a consideration that recognises the particular vulnerability that it experiences.

D. left for her own reasons - but this presents itself as a sort of 'test case' for MN to respond sensitively.

Would anyone agree and post here in support of this?

"Who cares? She'll soon be forgotten about. Tbh it got kinda boring looking at her posts that blamed the patriarchy for the root caues of everything."

Nope - I will never never ever ever forget dittany.

But luckily I know that I will forget you!

Looking forward to making the time to post more so that I can bore you.

Beachcomber - it must have been the Limoncello, right?

But honestly, my views on porn and the sex industry (amongst other things) have TOTALLY altered since taking part in discussions on these threads. Sadly I can't watch Enrique Iglesias videos in the same way now as I view all the female flesh and booty shaking in an entirely different light. A plague on his management, as he seems like a genuinely nice, mild mannered, young chap...

If DH ever wakes me up with a fumble, I used to think - Oh well, get it while you can. I usually warmed up to it. Now if I really am not feeling like it I just tell him to stop. He's fine about it.

DH's uncle makes his own limoncello from his own lemon trees from his lemon grove in Italy.

I reckon we will have you joining the ranks of radical feminism if we get you on that .

Seriously though Porto, huge respect for your honesty on this thread and receptive consciousness to difficult ideas.

Porto...I remember some of your spats with Dittany, they were pretty full-on at times as I recall

I think it says a lot about you that you can acknowledge her influence was a good one, without necessarily agreeing with absolutely everything she said

I feel the same

AF - I about some of the things I said. I can think of some contraversial threads where maybe my own opinion has not changed SO much, but where I should NEVER have posted what I did. Where later, when I thought about the implications of what was being discussed and kicked myself hugely. Dittany has taught me a lot - as have a lot of the other regular posters on the Fem threads it must be said.

I think it is just because Dittany is SO challenging - on one level it gets your back up, on the other what she says STAYS in your head. She has accepted me as a FB friend! At least I THINK it is her

I should have also said that I have changed my mind about some things. I stick by my guns about others but the brilliant brilliant thing about dittany is that she never wavers. Where a lot of us are floundering around, trying to decide what we think, she is very, very clear. And that kind of polemic is crucial around here I think.

is never wavering a laudable quality?imo need some fluidity not a rigid definitive line.thats why human condition is so fascinating the lack of absolutes and how we negotiate around hard issues

Yes, I think you've got something there Christine
I'm used to hedging and "if you wouldn't mind"-ing and "if you see what I mean"-ing. and she didn't. She said what she thought.

that alone was soooo 'out there' that I was impressed, even when I didn't automatically agree, or when I would have taken a more softly-softly approach to whatever it was.

There's part of me that would love to be that clear and that assertive and that un-afraid of confrontation.

but some of you are reflecting positively on wavering and acquiring different pov,an ability to process and reflect upon new info and waver to a resultant new pov

i'm glad this thread has come out nice in the end - can't handle looking at the other thread - no energy for it.

that's the thing if someone is very clear in their thoughts (in an informed way rather than just incoherent ranting the same thing over and over for example) it helps your thoughts regardless of whether you agree or disagree really because it gives you something solid to engage with and try on for size and see if you agree or why you disagree. if you disagree the 'why' you disagree helps you work out what it is you really think etc.

it's handy to have a few people around who are really strong in their position.

yep i'd say whether through agreeing or disagreeing discussing things with dittany was good exercise for my feminist awareness or ideas or perspective.

I had some run ins with her way back in my early days here, strange thing was overall I agreed with many of the points she was making, it was just the way and she did it at times. I still think she was often counter productive and just shut debate down or turned many people off who might have really learned something or be interested in exploring the ideas raised. Still, she seems to have gained a lot of friends and allies.

depends does informed way=toe the fem topics prescriptive line,its wholly subjective as you say one person informed is another person numpty. i have no particular belief fem topics here are the epitome of informed opinion. like many other mnthreads its a plethora of personal opinion and anecdotes

beachcomber does dh's uncle welcome guests? maybe we could have a feminism meet up there?

indeed agree expect to be disagreed with,and dont need a disclaimer or different moderation for that

I have said this before and will say it again

there was something comforting about dittany's posts

I am glad I kept my mouth shut/fingers still about some of my opinions pre The Feminist Topic/The Relationships Topic/reading posts from dittany and others like her

I would be really fucking now, that is for sure

people come and go flounce on mn.its just how it goes.more significant is the forum bobs along remins active.maybe she will un-flounce,maybe not.certainly fem topics have been busy and lively recently

I don?t think mnhq need to specifically moderate fem topics or put a disclaimer on its content

you're a really solid voice as well AF - especially on relationships. and similar in the way that you know you're not always going to be making friends when you're doing it.

just saying like.

thank you

and good night