The departure of dittany

[Pan]

I only know that she has left, and in her post she didn't say much as to why, though some people can speculate and imagine why.

Quite a few days ago (last weekend I think) there were threads that pinpointed the lack of consideration that MNHQ has toward the sort of trolls that infest the FS section from time to time - different in nature and purpose to your average troll that infects MN from time to time.

It may well be that d. is in contact with regular posters whom she trusts. I don't know.

What I do know is that d. was a fabulous source of invigoration and illumination to a lot of posters, myself included, though we didn't always agree with her.

I would like a review from MNHQ of their current "talk guidlines" policy, in order that the FS is provided with a consideration that recognises the particular vulnerability that it experiences.

D. left for her own reasons - but this presents itself as a sort of 'test case' for MN to respond sensitively.

Would anyone agree and post here in support of this?

When I posted about which bits I waxed and why I was told this was because I was being influenced by pornography - which as a non porn watching lady in my 50s I was somewhat taken aback by. Any attempts to justify my reasoning were me by derision.

higgle Sorry, who were you accusing of being all me me me?

So on a thread about someone else leaving MN, er...the thread is actually about you?

Hilarious.

Societal and cultural 'norms' and influences are far more subtle than you seem to be able to grasp. Just because you have not personally watched porn does not mean that society and culture are not influenced by porn and so we are all influenced indirectly.

I have no issues with what individuals want to do or not do with their own body hair - none of my business - but I am aware that my decision to remove my own body hair was not an idea which popped into my teenage head out of nowhere. There were a lot of societal norms, marketing, pressures, expectations etc at work too. Presumably you are also invincible when it comes to marketing? Wonder why so many companies spend billions on the advertising agency if we're all so steadfast and unpersuadable.

Anyway back to Dittany - Dittany, hope you find a way back here sometime soon. You've been a huge inspiration to me and one of the main reasons I got sucked into the FWR section from the start. You've taught me a lot and made me think and ask a lot. Your posts are always thought provoking and I think the way in which you have been driven off the site is testament to just how powerful and influential your posts have been because the MRA/anti-feminist brigade actually feel threatened by your words alone. Kudos. Here's to hoping you might pop back in again after a break !

Who are these MRA's/anti-feminist brigade posters? Still havn't seen any

I think higgle was only illustrating a point, whether you agree with it or not, as to why she felt unwelcolme in the FS.
BUT
Posters don't have to agree with everything being posted by everyone - higgle has the right to just ignore stuff, and continue contributing her view. (fwiw I've known lots of feminist women who 'hair care' without a porn-led cue - Iam sure women do that for their own reasons utterly unconnected with porn - that link is no way universal).

The other thing tho' is that FS posters cannot ammend styles for 'fear' of attracting tolls. MNHQ have a duty to maange that, otehrwise trolls win.

My reference was to LurcioLovesFrankie, 21.19 15 September
"Yes, definitely. I've been staggered by the derailing on some of the threads (and the way posters are allowed to post "me, me, me, it's all about me, look at meeeeeee, why are the feminists being nasty to me?" for post after post). " When I often see people like me, who have just come across one thread - perhaps by looking at "last 15 minutes" - make a post that they feel is quite factual and helpful and then get lambasted for it and told they are being influenced by porn - I think that most women are quite capable of independent thought about where they draw the line with their fluffy bits!

My experience is ( and not to be unpleasant and personal , but she (Dittany)did always seem to be there) that the long self centred posts generally came from the regulars on the thread , not those just joining in briefly.

higgle, I can't tell if you're objecting to what was said or how it was said?

If the former, what's wrong with saying we're influenced by porn?

I think you are doing it too now - LRD - On most threads you can say what you think and people will either agree or disagree. On the Feminist threads you cannot say what you think and have it left at that, as a contribution to the discussion, you have to be challenged constantly on your views.

Today I posted on Style and Beauty that I'm rather partial to Brora knitwear. I don't expect to have to justify it, analyse it, be challenged on it and be left feeling that a few rather strange people are pleased to have seen me off by asserting in about 20 lines that another brand is better! I think I'll go back to the Doghouse.

I am sorry about that, saf, your posts have been inspirational at times

I understand why though

were MNHQ quite willing ?

Higgle - well, on AIBU people also tend to get criticized a little when they want to tell everyone they're right and won't let anyone challenge their views. It's a discussion forum ...

(btw, it's a bit annoying when I try to post helpfully and the response is 'you're doing it too'. What exactly did you want us to do then?! Answer you, or not?)

I am actually really, truly sorry that Dittany is leaving.

Her presence on threads was comforting in a funny way. You knew where you stood. You could predict what she would say when presented with a certain scenario. Is there something wrong with that ? She was a constant, positive force for women.

sorry is of course, she ain't dead

I will miss her too- and there are many posters in Relationships who will miss out too.

I think it is very odd indeed to post to say that you are "right" about something. most people post to give an insight into their views and to contribute to a discussion. As an adult with life experience and half a brain I no more expect people to tell me I'm a misguided idiot for deciding to shave my legs than I do if I post on another thread that I voted for a particular party or buy a particular brand of make up.

getting back to the 'active ingredient' of the OP, someone had indicated further up that Justine was keen on the 'hide poster' measure, Lenin, and given the silence from HQ on this thread, then it looks like that is going to be offered as the method of 'troll-control'. Am guessing that this means posters can hide troll's posts until MN squirt them into oblivion.

Don't do it then! Why are you expecting your posts should go unquestioned?

I'm utterly confused by your posts. What's the point of popping in, laying down the law, then insisting no-one ask any questions in case they disagree with you?

I don't think you're a misguided idiot for shaving your legs, or voting for whoever you want. That's totally different from me asking you questions about why you chose to shave or why you voted one way or tother once you've offered your view.

That sounds suspiciously like a misrepresentation of a viewpoint, higgle. You sound intelligent, so I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you were busy and only skim read the post you refer to about leg shaving. Your reasoning as regards to leg shaving may have been questioned, rather than the practice itself, perhaps?

And, if my memory serves me correctly, dittany is one poster who could be relied on to show her workings out. That others don't bother to understand where she is coming from, even if they don't agree, is not her failing.