Deleted threads

[GloriaVanderbilt]

Hello,

I just reported a thread started by 'Dittony' which had a title attacking another poster and provided a link to a blog post.

It looked like a few others had reported it too as they had posted on it.

However in A/C there is another thread with the same title, which when you click on it takes you to a page saying 'error: thread deleted at OP's request'.

The OP however would appear to be someone who posted on the first thread, but not the same person who started it.

So can anyone please clarify what happened here...assuming the second thread was not posted by the same person as the first, (which has now gone) under a namechange?

(really hope not!)

Well, you've told dittany how to behave for starters...

And I'm not bringing up the offensive comment again. You know which one I mean, and that one did a lot of damage

This is why I mainly lurk - I SO don't know what to say!

LRD - I liked your lighhearted comment - who says feminists have no sense of humour

Dittany and Sukara - please, really, don't stay away. I hope that comes across without the simpering head patting that invisibly accompanied some of the other posts. Quite a feat I think, head patting and dick waving....

I've decided not to tell edd to fuck the fuck off and when he gets there fuck off some more and then fucking some. Though I might consider saying it if edd would consider doing it. :ponders: Though maybe I should because edd can take it both ways.

Bob, you posted to edd about me and he to you about me - it is clear to me you are more interested in your gang than in giving me a fair hearing. Obviously as soon as I said one little thing you were upset by, you both decided to attack me for it. I made a lighthearted joke that others have already said they found funny, because I had tried to understand your posting style and thought you and edd seemed to enjoy lighthearted jokes. I did not think you would mind it being a bit personal, I thought it would make you feel I was being friendly to you. But clearly my intentions count for nothing, you are just determined to tell me I am wrong!

And now you still won't help me understand what the problem was. I can't help you if you won't engage with me in a less emotive and more reasonable manner.

bob, it was a joke! What's wrong with a sense of humour all of a sudden?

If this is emotive to you for some reason I don't know, maybe something bad has happened to upset you , I sincerely apologise. But it is not really about my joke, is it?

Why don't you just namechange Dittany?

CaptainNancy, is your name based on a South Carolina slave owner? (Just wondering)

Bob, had the comment been made about me, I would have taken it as tongue in cheek. LRD is hardly the most serious poster... When she needs to be, she is. But if theres a joke, she's often got it.

In act, I make several jokes a week about things like that. Likewise with DBF, to me. It's tongue. in. cheek.

Calm down, dear

erm no. Maybe you need to look at Dittany's literary feminist heroine thread for a clue

Don't be silly Frothy everyone knows feminists are humorless harridans. It's nonsense to say they get jokes.

Still here Bob? For someone who's given up on this section, you do hang around a lot don't you? Not that I'm saying you shoudln't, why not, but it does come across as a bit needy.

I am sorry to prove you wrong, bob, but you did. Right after you posted, you started a reply addressing edd by name, and accusing all of the other posters of not making you welcome. This is very hurtful when I had specifically tried to make you welcome with a joke. It is really not the way to help people to see your point, when you just attack at the slightest imagined provocation. It is very important to respect other people's intentions, bob, and I'm afraid I feel your obvious emotional issues (which I accept must be very upsetting for you) are preventing you from doing this in my case.

Oh, well, I can't stop you leaving. I have tried my best to help you and engage with you, it is all I can do.

BobBanana - Thanks and goodbye.

There's a more approriate forum for that comment.

:applies for a post as a trainee thread police officer:

Oh damn, I've been so busy recently, I haven't been around so much and haven't had time to vacuum the red carpet i usually roll out for new posters.

Damn, damn damn. And now we've lost him. He'll never come back,

Rah rah rah, he's back!

All I can do is say i hope you get the support you need. I apologize deeply that you were so upset by a lighthearted comment, which was intended and made in a friendly manner.

I can see you are feeling too emotional about this to engage with me in a rational way, but I assure you, a joke is really just that: a joke. I have done my best to understand you and help you. That's all I or anyone else can do for you.

Right so here we are losing probably the most valued poster on the feminist section and we are expected to put up with some newbie male posters whining and cluttering up the section with a whole lot of shite about themselves.

Men who genuinely care about feminism enter feminist spaces with caution, respect, their listening skills engaged and they try to lay down their male privilege at the fucking door. In other words, they lie low and take up as little space as possible. They don't take offence at women not having a great deal of time for them and their opinions and they don't; speak down to women, tell women what feminism is about, tell women about their own oppression, make jokes about rape, post misogynistic shite, post mainstream patriarchal shite, patronise women (ie mansplaining), act privileged, act like dicks, generalise about feminists, suggest than feminism is about man bashing or that feminists sites are about man bashing. If they do any of these things they only have themselves to blame when feminists frankly cannot be arsed with them and are irritated by their presence. They also don't tell women that they are doing feminism wrong or that they are putting men like themselves off feminism.

Any other course of action, gets under the collective feminist nose, for acting oppressive and privileged and not even having the fucking gumption to know that one is acting in the traditional mainstream patriarchal manner that women are trying to get away from by creating feminist discussion boards.

Now of course there are plenty of heavily moderated feminist boards which wouldn't let this sort of posting even see the light of day. There are many feminist boards and blogs which are 'no dude zones'. Because that is what women have to do if they want to talk about issues which concern them without having to put up with patriarchal bullshity behaviour and rapey shit.

All Aboard.

There is no buffet car on this service because you don't deserve it.

Well said beach.