Some men really hate women being single don't they?

[solidgoldbrass]

inspired by a couple of other threads including the separatism one. Have you ever noticed that if a man you don't like or know or fancy is trying to persuade you to date him or spend time with him or even just talk to him, the only really effective way to make him fuck off is to tell him that you are another man's property. Just saying No, leave me alone, no thanks, actually I am having a conversation with my female friend and am not interested in talking to you, never seems to work until you throw in My Boyfriend or My Husband.

"We get the trolls we need" sounds very philosophical!

I hope we don't get the trolls we deserve. As that would make us terrible, terrible people

"nobody has to respond to my posts here. Nobody can hijack a thread, that is ridiculous" (etc etc)

Now imagine a bloke in a bar saying this:

"Nobody has to respond to my repeated attempts to engage you in conversation. Nobody can hijack a conversation, that is ridiculous. All you've got to do is toughen the fuck up and ignore me."

Anyway, thanks for the tip Wamster - I'll ignore you from now on then, and you can't complain about it because, well, it was your idea :o

Yes hagocrat "just ignore him and he'll go away"

Yeah right

Haven't read all this thread yet but...no men seem to have a problem with me being single :( would be nice if they did, I haven't been on a date for nearly 2 years or chatted up (properly) for quite a while.
I do have some nice male friends & acquaintances though. I feel like I must be unattractive but I've been ill with MH issues. My sister says her male friends have noticed I didn't seem well & were concerned, so were male work colleagues of mine. So it seems nice guys back off if they know you are vulnerable - probably just as well although I could do with a nice man to cuddle up to!
Also..I have a lot more self-esteem and self-respect than when I was younger so the dodgy men & 'users' that I used to attract don't approach me at all now. The only men who ask if I'm single are elderly patients at work (although am off right now) - it's just to make conversation & be nosy!

So because I disagree with you I must be a male ('his')? Pathetic.

Same old cliches, as ever.

Has anybody seen Bridesmaids? There's a bit in it where Annie is at an engagement party (so full of couples). Her friend the 'engagee' is introducing her to other people and they all keep assuming that any man standing vaguely in her proximity must be her partner. Even though those men are decades younger/older dressed totally differently etc. It's quite astute imo. They can't fathom that you might be single, but they naturally assume that some randomer they haven't seen to exchange two words with, who is dressed like a homeless man 20 years older than you, is your husband!!

Can anybody explain why other women who disagree with the feminists here get accused of being men? I mean I obviously disagree with some here-and that is fair enough, but why the 'you must be a man' business?

Feminists have differing views from most other women- why the need for action otherwise? If we all had feminist views, why the need for separate section?

Wamster not everyone who disagrees gets accused of being a man.

Just the ones who behave like trolls, like yourself and Jenny.

And that's the real concern of twattish MRA's isn't it - the very existence of a feminist section on a parenting website. They hate that.

Most of this thread has been successfully hijacked by you Wamster, to make it about whether women's irritation about being treated as another man's possession, is valid or not.

You've very successfully managed to ensure that very little of the subject matter has been on SGB's original point - that of being treated as male possessions.

Shall we all talk about that now?

Did I miss the post where someone said wamster was a bloke? I can't see it!

Bandwithering that is interesting about "bridesmaids". I'm surprised that an observation like that is in a hollywood film of that type but then it's not a film that appeals to me so maybe I'm judging too harshly! I would imagine it passes the bechdel (sp) test!

Oh and Wamster you can't "disagree" with someone elses feelings. If a random comes up to you in a pub and goes on and on and on at you and won't go away, you don't mind at all. Fine. Right up to the point where he threatens you and then you immediately call the police.

Fine, that is how you feel.

Most of the other women on the thread feel that if they are pestered by a random it is very annoying and they often find that the only way to make him leave is to say they aren't single. They find that interesting and wonder why their word that they don't want to talk to the random isn't good enough, it takes citing another man to get them to leave. None of this is "wrong" or something to "disagree" with. It's how the majority feel and they want to discuss it. You keep telling everyone that how they feel is wrong (which is very rude) and not allowing people to talk about what they want to talk about (which is very rude).

HTH in explaining why people are being short with you.

Going back to one of the issues discussed upthread - another story about the police being dismissive of women's reporting of crime.

Stories like this are not uncommon. But hey, we shouldn't make 'absolute' generalisations about the police, eh?

"But hey, we shouldn't make 'absolute' generalisations about the police, eh?"

Generalisations are more than a little daft. I've had a lot of help from police and never once been dismissed, even when I've not been able to give them much to go on. So let's not go down that route.

Is that supposed to invalidate the experiences of all those who have not been well served by the police, empusa?

As someone who has worked in many clubs and pubs, if there is a man bothering you the security or management will tell him to leave you alone if you ask them, and eject them if they continue to harrass you. It's frustrating that more women don't realise that, so don't try.

Only if you choose to read it that way. I'm just pointing out that generalising it to all police doesn't actually make sense.

Was your post meant to invalidate the experiences of those who have been helped?

The point is, I was not making a blanket or 'absolute' generalisation. That was a snarky remark directed at the poster who said that upthread.

Research into the reasons for the high rates of attrition in complaints of sexual assault point to police ineptitude as one of the causes for low reporting, complaints not being investigated properly and complaints being dropped early on in the process. It's just a fact. Things have improved somewhat, but,as that news story shows, there are still problems.

Empusa, I was lucky that my claims weren't dismissed, but this was more down to xP being more than willing to admit what he'd done (he seemed to think it would prove he was sorry and I'd take him back)

But from the tales I've heard, when it's a woman's word against a man's, the man's word seems to be accepted, through "lack of evidence", "no witnesses" etc. This was even the case when my niece had people willing to give statements that her ex had trashed her car and admitted it, or print offs of him using the phrase he sprayed on her car, or him messaging her to say he'd be happy to see her dead.

Maybe you've been lucky in your experience. Or maybe there's just been a lot of unlucky women in my life and on MN.

And the thing re: Bridesmaids, it does seem to be a common viewpoint. Even my mum resorts to asking if

"The point is, I was not making a blanket or 'absolute' generalisation. That was a snarky remark directed at the poster who said that upthread."

Ah, in which case, sorry!

Not hugely on the ball today :(

Somebody did make the excellent point upthread that women are never approached by pests when they are in the company of a man, even if that man is almost certainly their father/grandfather/work colleague. It's women talking to other women with no men in the group who are seen as fair game - if a group of men and women are out in public and chatting, even if there are slightly more women than men, the group will not suffer the constant butting in of men who want attention from the women where as two women in a public place like a bar or restaurant or club do suffer this unwanted attention - there is no man who has visibly claimed their attention, so it's up to other men to go and grab them - they can't just be left alone.