Some men really hate women being single don't they?

[solidgoldbrass]

inspired by a couple of other threads including the separatism one. Have you ever noticed that if a man you don't like or know or fancy is trying to persuade you to date him or spend time with him or even just talk to him, the only really effective way to make him fuck off is to tell him that you are another man's property. Just saying No, leave me alone, no thanks, actually I am having a conversation with my female friend and am not interested in talking to you, never seems to work until you throw in My Boyfriend or My Husband.

SardineQueen, so somebody putting her how they -reasonably- believe defence lawyers to behave in the real world is to be discouraged. I know, let's pretend that a defence lawyer is on the victim's side. Yeah, that's REALLY helpful, isn't it?

swallowedAfly, your last sentence sounds unbelievably entitled of you. So, differing views not allowed, then? I have told you that I am a feminist. I find it very rude of you to tell me that I am not.

What is your obsession with reporting to the police Wamster? Just because you report to the police it doesn't mean anything gets done about it. I have reported two crimes to the police (an assault an a theft) and despite having evidence of who committed those crimes (and witnesses) nothing got done about either of them.

However that is all missing the point of the thread, which as saf points out was in part for women to share experiences, in part to make people realise that they shouldn't have to put up with being hassled (i.e. it shouldn't be part and parcel of going out) and in part to show the root of the problem with these types of men who ignore a woman's wishes.

You are trivialising people's experiences. That is what is rude. You are saying we should have to put up with it and it is no big deal. That is what saf saying about shutting down the discussion. She has made no aspertions about how feminist you are. Just that a feminist space should be a space where women can discuss their experiences without being shut down.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat,

I am at my wits' end with some people here; they don't like men threatening them. Perfectly reasonable, I think.

So others say, quite reasonably, 'thought about contacting the police when this happens?' The answer: No, I won't call them, they won't listen.
The fact that they made a phone call to the police -which will be LOGGED- in which they said they felt threatened which would prove useful in a court of law seems irrelevant to them.

Or they say that it is the men who should change their behaviour. Well, yes, of course (x one million) men making threatening behaviour is wrong, but the men who threaten are OK with it and see no reason to change themselves so it is up to women to do what they can to put pressure on these men to change, because, let's face it, the men aren't going to change otherwise because they are entitled scum who see nothing wrong with their behaviour.
It is up to women to campaign for change.

No, we can't do that, they say. So the rational person, quite reasonably after having two reasonable suggestions rebuffed thinks: well there is sweet F.A. women can do apart from stay in the house and not go out.

WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT "THREATENING BEHAIOUR" IN THE WAY THE POLICE WOULD UNDERSTAND IT. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT PERSISTENT ATTENTION, MEN WHO WON'T LEAVE YOU ALONE, MEN WHO MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, MEN WHO DECIDE THAT THE USUAL RULES OF SOCIAL INTERACTION WITH STRANGERS DO NOT APPLY TO THEM.

Your posts are bizarre. Why are you now referring to your own posts as if other people had written them? These "others" you speak of are actually just you, one person.

If you feel that there is no point in talking to anyone on this thread then why do you keep at it?

"It is up to women to campaign for change. No, we can't do that, they say."

Who is "they"?

Women can and do campaign for change. It's called FEMINISM.

But the situation you describe is called stalking, SardineQueen, the police have a duty to look into such behaviour.

Admittedly, this would have to take place over several time periods and not just a one-off incident in a pub where the bloke did not immediately go away but, nevertheless, went away eventually and for good without actually causing harm or threats to the other person.

Anyway, if a person does feel threatened, then surely they should call the police thus putting the onus on the police to take action?

I'm sorry that those who feel threatened do not call the police, that's what they are they for.

So you say that's it's stalking and then say it isn't.

Well that's cleared that up then.

buzz I do take your point, honestly I do - but do I necessarily believe an anonymous quote in the Daily Mail? Absolutely not. Again, all I'm saying is that it's too strong to say that the police tend to dismiss women's complaints. If we're talking about increasing victim's liklihood of reporting something, I can only see that these negative generalisations would harm that effort. Anyway... this is off-topic

The report into the handling of the warboys case cited attitudinal problems though, jenny. It's not just one anon comment in the DM.

Were the attitudinal problems the only problems? Is this case representative of the whole of the UK's Police Force?

I didn't say there weren't / aren't problems and if that's how my posts read then I haven't been clear. I am suggesting that it's disingenous and possibly harmful - to suggest absolutes. Again (again) all I'm saying is that it's too strong to say that the police tend to dismiss women's complaints. I take tend to to mean that in the majority of cases it is what happens. The existence of cases where it has happened does not negate that sentiment.

I don't think this is that contraversial a point is it?

No-one has suggested 'absolutes' jenny. Where did you get that idea from?

Sorry; just not excited enough about this to get into the weeds about it. If you don't agree with my point then fair enough.

I said that it is men who need to change their behaviour, but unless pressure is put on them to change by others, they won't change because people who see nothing wrong with their behaviour do not change unless it is pointed out to them in some way by others.

In other words, women and the rest of society have to do something to make them (men) change their the men's behaviour.
So, if a woman thinks persistent chatting -up is an issue, she has to take some kind of action against it (I don't see it as a problem, but those that do should take action).

Christ, this is so simple a concept, I don't know why you don't get it?

And, seriously, if you won't even contemplate ringing the police when a man threatens you, (if you are able to get to and use a phone, of course) don't whinge if they don't help and slag them off for not assisting.

What SaF said.

Yeah, what SAF said.

Ah thanks for posting that Wamster. You're of course quite right and now you've shown me the light I've got this really great idea!

I'm going to post about it on a website, like forum kind of thing, where there are lots of women, so that they don't feel that its just them, and can discuss the issue amongst other women. Then maybe less women will feel they just have to accept it, and can then challenge people who say they are just being silly.

Oh wait, did someone try that...

swallowedAfly, nobody has had to respond to my posts here. Nobody can hijack a thread, that is ridiculous.

Seriously, and I am not being sarcastic, if you do intend to take action in real life over what you perceive to be persistent men you're going to have to be a little tougher because, honestly, a tough person would just ignore me, think, 'this person is an idiot' and just ignore my posts.