Lisa Bloom on how to talk to girls

[AbsDuCroissant]

Don't know if this has been posted before (I was GASP away from MN when it was first published).

found it very interesting - it is so "natural" to want to tell little girls that they're cute or pretty, but it could reinforce that that's what's important/what they're valued for.

I make a point of talking to boys as if they were girls - sit them facing me if holding babies, comment on their blue eyes/ curls/ white teeth. Get them to sit till and draw/read etc. The problem in our culture is masculinity, equal opps just gives girls more work to do but doessn't alter men's behaviour.

But do you really think that the problem with our culture is that men don't have a sufficiently screwed-up body image? I get the "encouraging them to be creative/nurturing/insert other 'feminised' behaviour here" aspect, but the focus on physical appearance doesn't seem at all constructive.

I like the Lisa Bloom article; IIRC there was a thread on it when it was published but no harm reposting.

I don't have a dd but I do have a ds and i get amazed at the number of times strangers compliment him on his science skills and relate it to his being a boy. We were at a craft exhibition and he was happily operating a knitting machine in one of the display. The woman gave me a knowing look and said "ooh look he obviously likes the technical aspect of it. Figuring out how it works." I guess the idea of a boy liking knitting in itself is too much.

I don't think people mean any harm but when talking to kids they don't know it's easier to plump for the safe stereotypes.

The accumulation of such comments must surely have an effect.

And that effect must account for some of the pay gap.

LOL joaninha, that is very instructive.

People will always desperately look for the stereotype angle, won't they?

Fair point, Pirate. Think the body image insanity might be counteracted if it applied to straight men too. It seems to be closely related to being on the receiving end of the male gaze (literal or metaphorical).

Hello, Pat. Boring day in the office again? Bless.

Couputing wouldn't have been possible without a woman twPat.

She turn you down last night, Pat?