Child support?

[DontCallMePeanut]

OK, this would have gone in AIBU, but I was more interested in a feminist argument about this. Just wondering how you feel about child support?

This has come from the result of a disagreement between myself and mother, in which she feels I should claim child support from xP. Now, I'm uneasy with this. Mainly because I'd rather anything he paid was done willingly, not having to go through the agencies to get it. On top of that, DS wants for nothing, as far as I'm aware. He's clothed, fed, regularly bought small treats (eg, books, trips, toys.) There's just something about child support which, from a father who makes no effort to see his DS, and has spent a total of £85 on him over the past three years, doesn't sit right.

Financially, my income is greater than his, and once I've graduated, my earning potential will be significantly greater than xP's. Any thoughts?

[HerBeX]

Yes, the court merely confirms legally what has already been happening in the day to day life of the family. In fact, they give men more time with their children than they have previously had parenting them, because on the whole even when they are home at the weekends, lots of women still do most of the parenting.

There's a very simple answer to men who complain that they're not getting 50 50 custody. Do 50 50 parenting. Even 30 70 parenting might get you 50 50 custody, because any amount of parenting men do, is vastly over-estimated by courts, men and even the women who live with them, simply because the norm is for them to do so little compared to what women do. So when they do anything at all, they are hailed as mighty conquerors and perfect fathers.

And before the morons jump up and down, of course I'm talking in general terms and there are some extremely honourable exceptions to this. But not enough. There need to be more, for men's own sake as well as women's and children's.