Silly question maybe - can a man be a feminist?

[biryani]

After a few glasses last night I got into a discussion with a male aqcuaintance about childcare etc. This man claims he's a feminist because he shares childcare etc with his wife, and has read Naomi Woolf and Andrea Dworkin. I said something like " you can't be a feminist because you're a man!", meaning that feminism arises out of a specifically female take on the world and that a man cannot experience this, being a man, and therefore cannot be a feminist as such although he may empathise and understand female issues.

now sober, I'm not sure. Who's right?

oh yeah, dislexia, I have known maNy strippers Dated 3 and lived with one....

thaks prnz

JH - those who post all over the interwebs about how they're going to troll MN get banned. Some of your mates have lasted much longer. Where are they btw? You put the call out to so many places it's funny they're not here.

lubbermummy, gotcha

lolol @ the Humperdinks conducting their marital tiffs in the feminism section of Mumsnet. It sure beats the people I know who do it on Facebook

Actually, only to one. I in any case, the other huff was banned once already. I figured I'd be a little more discreet by putting a 2 next to my name "shhh..that'll throw them off."

In any case, I have noticed that there are a few people who are interested in discourse.
And yes, I have seen feminist men. One the ones I had the good fortune (and I really mean that) of speaking to is Julian Real over at a Radical Profeminist. Though we disagreed vehemently with the idea of collectivism and privilege hierarchies, we managed to keep the conversation civil and even shared some personal information as to way we are the way we are.
He really does try to do good work over there, though I think he is misguided. I must say he is very well informed when it comes to conditions outside of Western Culture.
If your up for a good read as a feminist, then go check it out.
I can't say I agree with his views, but at least we treated each other like human beings instead of lumping each other as evil people.

And yes.....I misspelled the heck out of everything.

See...just like I thought. of course I am sure the documentation will come in handy.

Oh yes, it's for research purposes. Look look, I can string lots of long words together because I wish to look super-clever. And it's all for other people's benefit, donchaknow .

number 3 jamez ?

you were better suited to a number 2

How high do you think we'll get? I'm looking forward to jameshuff1789

JamesHuff7 - your work collating evidence of how men (the ones who run male dominated society) are oppressed by feminists is very important.

Don't be put off by a few women telling you that women are the ones being really oppressed by patriarchy (AKA male dominated society) , and that men have it in their power to change the situation (for either sex) at the drop of a hat.

You just have to engage in a bit of double think - it is easy really.....

This tape will explode in 5 seconds, you have your mission and you are ready....................

1792 will be more piquant. Perhaps he'll skip over that one.

Sounds like this is related to the French Revolution. Les phallocrates à la lanterne?

Vindication of the Rights of Women written that year too

rights of woman I mean

I find it particularly nice how James can really get behind a feminist writer... when it's a man.
Are we at all surprised?

Anyway onto the topic - apologies in advance that this gets a bit long:

I think men can call themselves "feminists", but I don't think it means the same thing. I am a guy who tries hard to be a feminist, and I am working hard to try and raise a feminist son. I would love to call myself a feminist, but I do so with the awareness that I'm never going be able to be an authority on the subject or even truly understand it. So when I say feminist about myself I genuinely do think it means something different to when a woman identifies herself that way.

I call myself a feminist while being as aware as possible of the vast amounts of privileged that I carry around with myself. I know I get it wrong, more often than I would like, and all I can do is trust in my feminist friends and my wonderful feminist partner to call me on this and let me know.

I call myself a feminist while avoiding ever trying to claim any authority on it, not even to other men. Because there are far better people to explain, advocate and lead. I try my best to be a strong ally and play my part while knowing that I can march in the parade but never lead it. Given that the feminist movement is full of incredibly smart women who are far more capable than myself, this is not a hardship.

I do this for a lot of reasons that are mostly selfish. I have a wonderful partner who is at least as, but mostly more, deserving of societies full respect, and I wouldn't be a "partner" if I didn't fight to make that true. I have a son who I want to grow up with as little of the patriarchal crud that floods onto men as possible, because the patriarchy IS bad for men, but we're not the ones who will dismantle it. And I might someday have a daughter, and if I do I damn well want the world to realize what an awesome person she is, and not care a crap what chromosome combo she was born with.

Done. I rarely comment on mumsnet, because I really don't think it's my place. And the last thing this place needs is men coming on and mansplaining to all the wonderful commenter?s here.

I love that this thread has brought out some posts from some genuinely pro-feminist men. Makes me

i wonder how long till james has his shoes and socks off to get a new name??

james, go back to forthood, give my regards to the robert grey airfield, you might find the girl of your dreams in kileen...

you are the kind of american (assuming its not gervais) that really get the rest of teh world in a tizzy, you know, opinionated, isolated (i mean do you have a passport? ever left tejas?) bigoted, ignorant, completely lacking social graces, and entirely too persistant (and I dont mean in a wright brothers kind of way)...

I call myself a feminist because I support feminism. That's what the word feminist means to me, nothing more & nothing less. My partner prefers the term 'feminist' to 'pro-feminist' & so far I've not had any negative reaction from the (female) feminists Ive met.

Calling myself a feminist doesn't mean I am part of some male conspiracy to take over feminist organisations, or even that I demand the right to be a member. I understand that some feminists want to have women-only spaces & I have no problem with that. I also think its right that the big decisions about feminism should be taken by women and the role of men is to do what we can to support the agenda they have decided on.

Cynics might think I am just doing this to get the approval of female feminists. Of course in one way it's nice for a man to be admired by women - but if you take this stuff seriously at all it's also a bit embarrassing to be praised for doing something that you know all man should be doing anyway.

"I also think its right that the big decisions about feminism should be taken by women and the role of men is to do what we can to support the agenda they have decided on."

You are kidding surely? So men should blithly follow whatever course is being determined by feminists, 'to support the agenda they have decided upon', no matter what on earth what 'agenda' that is?? Surely, no, to any sane person. You are sounding a bit like a bloke who wants a from feminists (female) for his efforts.