Am struggling with what it is to be a feminist.....

[K999]

I have posted, over the past few days on this topic....despite really knowing fuck all about it!

Have been on the porn thread and have had a complete rethink on a lot of issues.

My question is two fold...

(1) I am not sure what being a feminist really entails....

And

(2) if I like wearing make/up, shaving, showing a bit of cleavage, does this mean I am letting myself, as a woman, down??

I am confused.....

Thanks

Mumsnet feminist = extremely extreme.

there was a thread a little while ago about whether, as a feminist, you shave your legs/underarms/like nice clothes/wear makeup/like to be dominated in the bedroom etc

it was a good natured thread, and served to tell me, certainly, that the stupid stereotype of the strident, hairy, dungaree-toting, moustachioed butch feminist was waaaaay off the mark

stereotypes like that are promoted in an attempt to get intelligent women who question things to STFU

There are feminists on MN who disagree about aspects of feminism. Basically, if you believe that women are human beings with the right to autonomy, independence and respect, and that the fact that women are not getting these things is a Big Problem, then you are a feminist.

extreme is a bit of a pejorative word.
But a lot of the regular posters on here tend toward the radical rather than liberal end of the spectrum.

no, bibs, you are generalising

buying into generalisations is part of the problem, innit

It is tough going on to a thread with the radicals and getting pulled apart. Which is a shame because there's some good stuff being talked about but no good if anyone liberal or curious is chased away

Could we desist from bemoaning how horrible other posters are please...there are enough derailers who come from other sites with the express purpose of wrecking decent discussion without doing it to each other

I am at the liberal end, and have never felt chased away by anyone

Oh good. I really don't want to be chased away (or chase anyone away!) These threads are so interesting.

my (one) nipple hair is coming on nicely, btw

great stuff EggyFucker.
How long is it now?

I haven't named anyone or said they are horrible. The term I used was subjective and I referred to my own experiences. I was trying to be fair.

I like this thread. Fairly balanced.

My Grandma was widowed young (in 1940, hr DH was in the army) and spent many years living in poverty as a widow raising 7 children.

In the 1960s, my mum had got a good job and was earning a good salary and she wanted to buy a house. She was single and the house was going to be for her and her mum to live in.

Neither my mum (good job, good salary) nor my Grandma (mature woman who had worked in menial jobs reliably her whole life) were able to get a mortgage. because they needed a man to guarantee it.

In the end, they got a mortgage because one of my mum's older brother's agreed to be their guarantor.

That's one reason why I am a feminist and one reason why I feel really pissed off infuriated by women today who say, "I'm not a feminist...". Really? Fancy going back to pre-feminist days, do you? No, didn't think so.

Naomi Wolf has written that a feminist today is a woman with her own name on her cheque book.

And yes, Mumsnet Feminists can be quite hardcore but it is mentally challenging to hang around here and even if you don't agree with everything, it gets you thinking.

Sorry, brothers, not brother's.

You have to take the rough with the smooth, Katie (much like my boob area)

Feminism isn't about making people feel nice and safe and balanced (not all the time anyway), challenging people's mindsets can be pretty in-yer-face

Seth, my single nipple hair is busy constructing a rope bridge over to the other nipple, to see if there is any sign of life over there

that a very powerful story Greythorne.

that's

The simplest stories are the most powerful, I think

and I reckon that tale was echoed many times over

Hello K999. Just wanted to say good on you for rethinking your ideas about porn (and having the honesty to say so on that porn thread).

I agree with others that clothes, etc. don't matter very much (within reason). I'm not very into feminine grooming stuff but I still shave my legs in the summer. I live in France and would be the talk of the town if I went out with hairy legs. So I buckle to the pressure, plus if I'm honest I do like the way my legs look shaved - no doubt because I've been told all my life that I should.

What it is to be a feminist - for me it is really thinking about things and challenging ideas and situations which harm women and are oppressive for women. It is saying 'bullshit' to patriarchal notions and tools of oppression.

I have a t-shirt that says 'Feminism: calling out bullshit where we see it since 1792'.

I want one!

It sounds flippant but in a lot of ways that is what it comes down to. See K999 it's easy!

what is the significance of the year 1792 ?

Thanks all.

Greythorne, that was a very good post. Women can do so many things today, most of which are taken for granted. I am really being educated on MN tonight!

"Basically, if you believe that women are human beings with the right to autonomy, independence and respect, and that the fact that women are not getting these things is a Big Problem, then you are a feminist."

Yep, that's where I'm at sgb.

No that's true Eggy but neither is it about who is right and who is wrong.

I agree, Katie, and I acknowledge what you are saying