This is interesting from Robert Jensen, (he is very good isn't he);
"Meg Baldwin, a feminist law professor at Florida State University who left academic life to run a women?s center, once gave me more insight into this process. Baldwin, who has worked for years with women who are prostituted, said one of the common experiences of those women is coping with the unprovoked rage and violence that johns will direct at them. Baldwin told me that after hearing countless stories about this reaction by men, she concluded the rage was rooted in this self-objectification. She sketched this process:
Men typically go to prostitutes to have a sexual experience without having to engage emotionally. Yet when they are in the sexual situation, they sometimes find themselves having those very same emotional reactions they wanted to avoid, simply because our emotional lives cannot be completely controlled. When they feel those things they wanted to suppress, the johns lash out at the most convenient target -- the women who they believe caused them to feel what they didn?t want to feel.
If Baldwin is right and, based on my own experience, I believe she is we could say that men turn women into objects in order to turn ourselves into objects, so that we can split off emotion from body during sex, in search of a sexual experience in which we don?t have to feel. But because sex is always more than a physical act, men seeking this split-off state often find themselves having strong emotional reactions, which can get channeled into violence and cruelty."
uts.cc.utexas.edu/~rjensen/freelance/realmenrealchoices.htm
It goes some way to shedding some light on the cruelty aspect.